Hey, all, and welcome to B’ings, also known as Tim Cubbin’s
complaint department.
Today,
I will be talking about, if you can read the title, Eggland’s Best. If you work
for Eggland’s Best in any way, please stop reading this as you are about to get
busted.
Who
has seen a commercial for Eggland’s Best? In it, they claim “Better taste,
better nutrition, better eggs.” Whoa, whoa, whoa, let’s think about this. How
can you make this claim? How can you PROVE your eggs are the best tasting eggs
out there? And “better nutrition”? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO YOUR EGGS? If you make
this claim, you are DEFINITELY doing something unnatural to your eggs! Or do
you have a magic chicken that you KNOW makes the best tasting eggs? Because I
doubt it! For as long as they’ve had these commercials, those magic chickens
would DEFINITELY be dead by now. What, do the chickens have an ancestral trait
to lay the best eggs? Again, I doubt it! Especially since you claim better
nutrition. This is not a natural genetic trait. In other words, they do
something to these eggs. To make this claim, something’s up here. This claim
could even be false. How can you make a guarantee to this?
Okay,
now I will tell you I’ve had Eggland’s Best eggs. And what do I have to say?
THEY’RE EGGS! I don’t notice anything different about their eggs than any other
brand of eggs. Look, I’m not an egg connoisseur, I don’t line up eggs and do
taste tests. If you’re doing something to these eggs (which you probably ARE),
I haven’t really noticed a difference. I have no way to confirm or deny your
claim. Maybe you should ease up on this?
That’ll
do it for now. Be prepared for more B’ings soon! Until then, Tim Cubbin… OUT!
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