"Sinister War"

Welcome to From the Mind of One Tim Cubbin. I am, surprisingly enough, Tim Cubbin.

The following is a review of the Marvel Comics event “Sinister War” as presented on Marvel Unlimited. THIS HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH “Spider-Man: No Way Home,” which, at the time of my typing this, December 13, 2021, the world is getting ready for its release on December 17, 2021, and is just about a comic storyline that was released several months ago but just now available on Marvel Unlimited and am typing this the day the whole event was completely available, so if you think I’m going to be saying ANYTHING about “No Way Home,” you are not on the blog post you were expecting, but please, stay anyway because… well, just stay.

So, for some of you who have never read my reviews before, first I do the whole boring “blah, blah, blah” introduction that I have to say so you know what you’re getting into. After that, I briefly introduce the major characters. Then I give a synopsis of the story, followed by my own personal thoughts on the story. Then I talk about accessibility, which will suggest if you “No Way Home” preparers should actually read this story. Then I’ll give a numeric score of the story, which I will explain when we get there. Then I’ll say if I actually recommend reading this, and to who I think this is best suited for. Following that, I write the conclusion statement and bore most of you who no longer care what I have to say and click out immediately after I score it and move on to whatever you want to do after I blather these words which you probably won’t read anyway, but I know that some people stay with me, and if you do, you are THE BEST! (Particularly “No Way Home” excited preparers). Then I shut up and then say the three words I always sign off with (some of you may already know them, and if you do you are totally THE BEST! I love my regular readers and appreciate the support!), and let you do whatever you want to do on the internet now, Facebook, Instagram, Tik Tok, check your email, order last minute Christmas gifts, look at something inappropriate, watch something on YouTube, play video games, I honestly don’t care at the conclusion of my typing, posting, and promoting this because I am done with this and will be sure to write more content soon (I’m working on a book that will be reviewed in three or four days) and then I’ll try to get my thoughts together because this is ALL over the place, and… well, let’s just move on because I am most likely boring you and typing this to people who no longer wish to read my rant, so…

Yeah, let’s talk about Peter Parker/the Amazing Spider-Man. Peter was in high school when he went to a demonstration on radiology. A spider got in front of the rays and became radioactive. It then bit Peter Parker and Cindy Moon as it died (and Silk has nothing to do with this, so if you don’t know her it really doesn’t matter because she was not in this and therefore I won’t talk about her). Peter then discovered he had the proportional strength and agility of a spider, adhesive fingertips and toes, and a precognitive danger warning (“Spider-Sense”). He created web shooters. Then he went into showbiz, which didn’t work out, but he soon took his Uncle Ben’s words “with great power, there must also come great responsibility” to heart after Peter could have prevented Ben Parker’s death and started fighting bad guys, and the rest is history.

Next is Mary Jane Watson. MJ is Peter Parker’s girlfriend (and Peter is getting ready to propose to MJ) and actress. Her movie is premiering, and she and Peter are in attendance. This movie is essentially a biopic about Spidey’s longtime villain Quentin Beck/Mysterio, and was directed by… (wait for it)… Mysterio in the disguise of Cage McKnight. MJ actually knew this, but still stayed with him through the filming (and has apparently told Mysterio Peter’s identity as Spider-Man).

Quentin Beck/Mysterio was a stunt man who made cool tech but decided to use it to get what he wanted and became a super villain (and yes, this includes beating Spidey). So yeah, Beck was attending the premier with Peter and MJ.

Carlie Cooper is a forensic scientist and has been abducted. She has been locked up in a cell with Harry Osborn.

Harry Osborn is the son of one of Spidey’s worst enemies, Norman Osborn/the Green Goblin, and has been the Green Goblin himself.

Then we have the main villain, Harry Osborn/Kindred… wait! If Harry is in a cell with Carlie Cooper, then who is Kindred?

Then we have thirty-some-odd villains, all parts of teams that include Sinister in their team name or in groups of six, such as the Sinister Six, the Savage Six, the Sinister Syndicate, the Sinister Foes of Spider-Man, and a few others, let’s not get too far into that. Obviously, thirty-some-odd villains CANNOT all be named, and many are just there for action sequences which show Spidey fighting them and have no personal dialogue.

So, synopsis time. I’ve said a lot of the story already, so this is going to be repetitive and relatively short. Peter is at the premier with MJ, going to propose to her at the end of the movie. But we have “the Parker Luck” and the Sinister teams crash the premier of the movie.  They all want to kill Spider-Man because Kindred said that if their team doesn’t kill Spider-Man they will be… darned to a place that is traditionally referred to “down below” (I don’t use profanity on this blog, but you can now probably figure this out for yourself, and if you don’t know, look it up).

Okay, this is about all I can tell you about the story without spoilers. So now, my personal thoughts. I hate to say this, but… I was relatively disappointed by it. There were thirty-some-odd villains and six teams! Some villains are hard to recognize because they only get a few panels here and there showing them hitting Spider-Man or Spider-Man hitting them. And then keeping tabs on who was on what team was relatively difficult (possibly even impossible). Kindred’s true identity was a surprise. Kindred was not who the readers expected. After spending almost three years with the character, guessing Kindred’s identity, believing it was Harry Osborn for almost two years, it caught me off guard to who was actually under the mask. But the ending with Kindred felt anti-climactic to me (even including the words “To Be Continued”), and the end of the Sinister War just seemed lame.

Okay, now for accessibility. I think it is a great starting point for new readers. Let me clarify, though: I wouldn’t call the story great, but it’s relatively self-contained.

Well, let’s move on to my numeric score. The story totally did not adhere, thirty-some-odd villains are WAY too many, I felt the finales were weak, and to me it was just so disjointed (even more so than this review). BUT! I do have to say what saves this score from being so abysmal: the art. The art was AMAZING! Mark Bagley is one of my favorite comic book artists and his work on “Sinister War” totally did not disappoint me as I felt it fit in with the same panache that I’m used to with his work. Even the work on “The Amazing Spider-Man” seemed high quality to me. So, let me explain how the score works: I score on a scale of one to ten, one being so awful I feel like the three hours it took me to read it were a total waste of time, ten being this was an amazing read. BUT! There were two separate series with two separate stories, and I feel that I have to address that. So I’m going to score both stories individually and as a combination of the two. As I said, “Sinister War” was a hot mess, and I give it a harsh three. “The Amazing Spider-Man” was much better, so I actually am going to give it a five. So, by law of average, as a whole, I’d score it at a four.

As for recommendation, well, if you see “No Way Home” and it doesn’t meet your high expectations and want to make you feel a redemption for Spidey, maybe this will actually be good for you. Some of the villains are great, and include the Green Goblin, the Lizard, Sandman, Electro, and Doctor Octopus (all in “No Way Home!”) and were treated by the writer with great respect and effect, and have the desired “Sinister Six” you might have expected from “No Way Home” and might not get (I don’t know how the movie is, so I can’t predict if you’ll like it or not, I’m just saying), and in fact, about six groups, so if you have a favorite Spidey villain (aside from Venom and Carnage), they might even be in this book. So, while I didn’t personally love it, you might actually consider reading it. I mean, I didn’t think it was horrible, so any Spidey fans wanting to read any Spidey comics but never had could pick this book up as a paperback if it sounds interesting by my description, I say, “Go for it.” Decide how you feel yourself. Look, I can’t tell you if this is a good book or not, I’m not every human being on the planet, I’m just one Tim Cubbin, so I honestly can’t speak for everyone on that. You decide yourself. I can’t tell YOU how to think, you think for yourself. So if you read it, please send me comments or Tweets telling me what you think of “Sinister War,” I totally want to know. However… DO NOT BRING “No Way Home” INTO THIS! I insist. This is NOT a post about “No Way Home,” I honestly don’t care how you feel about it, this is JUST “Sinister War.” Also, no one has ever left a comment before, and if you are actually the first, you are THE BEST! Honestly, I mean it. So, if you liked it, Retweet, Emoji, Like, Comment and keep coming back to From the Mind of One Tim Cubbin. I post fairly often, I have a post lined up after this one in a few days (it is NOT about “No Way Home” by the way), I write reviews about most of the things I read, and I read A LOT, so you know I have plenty coming up. I also write short stories, poetry, essays, editorials, things journalists do (I am, in fact, a certified journalist, I just can’t get employment so I write these for free hoping someone will notice me) and more. If you are here, still reading, you are THE BEST! Hopefully I don’t leave you thinking this was a waste of time and sour you to future posts, so if you read more of my work, you are THE BEST! I’m going to leave you now, with three words. Tim Cubbin… out! 

"The Amazing Spider-Man: Return of the Sinister Six" by Charles Vess and David Michelinie

            The following is a review of the graphic novel “The Amazing Spider-Man: Return of the Sinister Six” written by Charles Vess and David Michelinie.

            So my regulars know the drill, but for the newbies, an explanation of how one of my reviews work is in order. This is a review of a Marvel Epic Collection. An Epic Collection is a graphic novel containing a large number of individual Marvel comics, focusing on a particular storyline and the issues around that storyline ranging from a particular timespan. So in this review, the first thing I’ll do (well, this is the introduction, so I guess it’s the second thing I’ll do) is give a description of the key characters in the book. Then I’ll talk about the synopsis of the book containing as few spoilers as possible. After that, I’ll give my own personal thoughts on the book. Following that, I’ll talk about the accessibility to casual or non-readers to prior stories. Then I’ll give the ever important numerical score. Then I’ll tell you if I recommend the book to others and who I’d recommend it to. Then I’ll wrap up the piece with the traditional Tim Cubbin sign off. So, let’s start.

            Okay, first we’ll talk about our cast of characters in depth. First is Peter Parker/Spider-Man. Peter was orphaned as a child and was raised by his loving Uncle Ben and Aunt May. Peter was bullied in school for being a bookworm. One day, he went to a demonstration in radiology. A spider got irradiated by the radioactive rays, then as it died, it bit Peter. Peter found he had the proportional strength and agility of a spider, adhesive fingertips and toes, and a precognitive warning or imminent personal danger he calls “spider-sense.” He created web shooters that fire adhesives. He kept his powers a secret from everyone by designing a costume. He started a career in show business. One day, he allowed a robber to escape past him, caring only about number one: himself. This robber went on to murder his Uncle Ben. Peter brought the crook to justice, and took Uncle Ben’s wise words to heart: “with great power there must also come great responsibility.” He decided to use his powers to help others, but still kept his identity a secret. He went on to become a super hero, fighting a variety of super villains to protect innocent people. He became a photographer for the tabloid The Daily Bugle, mostly shots of his adventures as Spider-Man. Now he is a college student at Empire State University.

            Okay, we’re going to go past the next characters with just minor details because giving all the history would take forever. It’s just essential to know Spidey’s background to understand this review.

            Mary Jane Watson-Parker: Peter’s wife, and actress on the soap opera “Secret Hospital.”

            May Parker: Peter’s elderly, doting Aunt.

            Nathan Lubinsky: Aunt May’s fiancé.

            Flash Thompson: Peter’s former high school bully now best friend.

            Felicia Hardy: Spider-Man’s ex-girlfriend, former super thief the Black Cat, now Flash Thompson’s girlfriend.

            J. Jonah Jameson: Publisher of The Daily Bugle, a Spidey hater who sells papers on an anti-Spider-Man platform, Peter’s boss.

            Next we’ll talk about the villains, their names and powers.

            Otto Octavius/Doctor Octopus: Able to control a contraption of four metal arms that respond to his thoughts.

            Max Dillon/Electro: Able to control and generate electricity.

            Quentin Beck/Mysterio: A stunt coordinator, with all kinds of special effect gimmicks.

            William Baker/Sandman: Able to turn his entire body into sand, and can solidify his body into rock.

            Adrian Toomes/Vulture: Has a contraption that gives his wings and the ability to fly.

            Hobgoblin: A demonic creature. Has devices such as pumpkin bombs, razor bats, electric gloves, and a goblin glider.

            These six form the villain team: The Sinister Six.

            Eddie Brock/Venom: Has a symbiote suit that gives him powers similar to Spider-Man and then some.

            Mac Gargan/Scorpion: Mechanical armor with a stinging tail that can fire acid.

            Aleksei Systevich/Rhino: Has a rhino suit that grants his super strength and invulnerability.

            Dr. Elias Wirtham/Cardiac: Mechanical heart, vibranium armor, energy-firing staff.

            Dmitri Smerdyakov/Chameleon: Can change appearance at will.

            Anton Miguel Rodriguez/Tarantula: Enhanced reflexes and venomous boot spikes.

            Black Fox: Master cat burglar.

            Herman Schultz/Shocker: Vibration causing gauntlets.

            Nicholas Powell/Chance: Gambling mercenary.

            Victor Von Doom/Doctor Doom: Ruler of the country of Latveria.

            Cletus Kasady: Eddie Brock’s cellmate, serving eleven consecutive life sentences.

            Yeah, I know, quite a cast. So now let’s talk about the major stories in brief since there is a lot in the book.

            Spirits of the Earth: Mary Jane inherits property in Scotland and she and Peter take a second honeymoon.

            Return of the Sinister Six: Doctor Octopus reforms the Sinister Six in a plan to hold the earth hostage. Unbeknownst to the other five, Doc Ock plans to double-cross them and rule the earth by himself.

            Powerless: The Chameleon in disguise tricks Spider-Man into giving up his powers.

            Venom Returns: Eddie Brock’s Venom symbiote breaks Eddie out of prison. Venom then battles Spidey and takes him to an abandoned mining colony island.

            Also in this book is the underlying story of Cardiac’s attempt to take down Sapirdyne Chemicals whom he feels wronged him, confrontations with the Black Fox and Doctor Doom, and a hint at the birth of Carnage.

            Okay, now it’s time for my thoughts. Okay, I LOVED this book. I didn’t want to put it down and finished it in just over twenty-four hours. BUT! I have two major complaints. First, I disliked the Spirits of the Earth Graphic Novel. I mean, I didn’t hate it, but the book would have been fine without it, and the only reason it was even in this book was due to the time proximity of the main stories. My other complaint is two of the details in the artwork. Nothing truly against Erik Larsen, I thought he did an excellent job, but I felt like he made Peter Parker look too young. He’s supposed to be in college but looks like a sophomore in high school. And I thought he gave the male characters WAY TOO MUCH body hair. I honestly don’t know if women are really into it these days. But then again, I’m a nineties brat, so I don’t know if it was popular back in 1991.

            Okay, next is my accessibility rating. Now, I don’t actually give it a score, I just assess how much background knowledge I feel is appropriate to get optimal reading enjoyment of the book. So, again being a nineties brat, I didn’t read Spider-Man comics back in 1991, so there was history I was unfamiliar with. I didn’t know Aunt May actually had Nathan Lubinsky as a fiancé. I didn’t know Flash Thompson dated Felicia Hardy. I don’t know who Hobgoblin was at the time (there have been several over the years). There were several other background threads I didn’t know. So as a Spider-Man fan, not being privy to some of these details, I feel that there is a slight deal of background knowledge about the characters needed to fully grasp the story tightly. We’ll get back to that in a few paragraphs as to my recommendation.

            Now, all said and done: my numeric score. For those who don’t know how I score, I go on a scale of one to ten. One means I totally hated this book, ten means it’s one of the best books I’ve ever read. Again, I loved the book, and it had the potential for a nine, even with Spirits of the Earth, but due to the artwork, I have to lower it to an eight.

            Now, as I said before, I’d get back to my recommendation, and I’m keeping that promise. If you love Spider-Man, I would totally tell you that I feel as if this book is worth a read. If you’re a fan of the Sinister Six or any of the members I said in my character introductions, again, I feel this book is worth a read. I thought it was a great Sinister Six book, as well as a great Venom book. When I bought this book, I wasn’t aware that it had a Venom story, so that was a pleasant surprise for me. Now, if you only know Spider-Man from the movies or television shows, I feel you might enjoy this book. In all the Spidey film franchises, almost all of the Sinister Six members in this book have appeared in the films, as well as other villains from this book appeared in the films. Cardiac was a character I had never heard of, but as this book contains his origin story, it isn’t detrimental to casual fans. If you’ve never actually read or seen ANYTHING Spider-Man and want to get into it, this book is a difficult start, as all the villains except for Cardiac and Cletus Kasady have been pretty thoroughly established, have had detailed history and several prior stories. BUT! I’m not saying it’s impossible. The Epic Collections are established to be relatively self-contained, but I can’t in good conscience say every Epic Collection is a jump in. Also, the Epic Collections are not released in chronological order and there are massive gaps in-between the Epic Collections (this book is called Volume 21, but not all of the other 20 volumes have been released). Still, if this review titillates your interest, feel free to visit your library to see if they have it, or if you want, you can try to get a copy in stores or online. My prior readers know I am a very harsh judge on my scores, so an eight (which could have been a nine with another artist) is a pretty good score. So you can do what you will. To read or not to read is all up to you. I can’t GUARANTEE you’ll like it just because I like it, but it has a general recommendation from me.

            Well, you’ve been reading for quite a while if you’re actually still here reading. If you’re still with me, you are (as my prior readers know) THE BEST! I’ve done so many reviews already, but I don’t just do reviews on this blog, so totally feel free to keep looking at my work, and for now, I bid you adieu and everything else I have to say is, Tim Cubbin… out!