Wakka's Gift

 

            On October 28, 2016, I adopted a bearded dragon. They’re called “bearded dragons” because they’re lizards that inflate their chin with marking that makes it look like a beard.

            I never thought a reptile would steal my heart. I’d only ever had cats or a dog as pets before, so this was going to be new to me. When I went to PetSmart to get my new baby, I thought it would be a difficult choice. There were three beardies in the tank. I looked, and one beardie saw me, climbed over the other two, and placed its hand on the glass. I knew this little baby wanted me.

He was hatched on September 1, 2016, and was very tiny. I have a grip that is way too firm, and I was afraid I’d smush he was so little, and I didn’t actually start holding him until January 2017.

Picking the name was easy enough for me, as I knew the boy or girl names for whichever I brought home. There are several common beardie names, like Norbert, Puff, or Toothless, but I wanted something unique, something different. My favorite video game is Final Fantasy X, and my favorite character is Wakka. I saw this baby and looking at him, I knew Wakka was the right name. He would even eventually learn and understand that his name was Wakka.

He also learned a few other words. He understood me as “Dada.” He also learned the word “bugs” (but what reptile wouldn’t learn that word?). He learned “cartoons” and if I said “Wakka, want to watch cartoons” be got very excited.

I’m living with bipolar disorder, and I saw Wakka as my emotional support animal. We did a lot of things together, including reading and, of course, watching cartoons. He was a very happy little creature, full of happiness and love. Some scientists say bearded dragons don’t know how to love. I think those scientists need to do better research on that. If you saw how he looked at me and played with me, you could see the love.

If I had a horrible day, I could just walk into my room, look at that little guy and how he’d look back at me, and it felt like if that little creature loved me that much, my life honestly couldn’t be all that bad. He always made me smile.

One of the hardest days of my life was December 4, 2021. I woke up to find he had passed over the night. It was devastating. I loved that little guy so much, and now he was gone. It was hard to comprehend, and to cope and deal with. I never thought losing a reptile would be so difficult. My emotional support animal had left me, and life would now be so difficult.

I know, though, that those five years together were some of the happiest of my life, and I had to remember that I gave him a good, happy life, full of nothing but love. I honestly have absolutely no bad memories of Wakka except the morning I found his stiff body. But to pass right before Christmas, well, it was going to be awfully difficult. Five years of being a dada now over.

I’m on several bearded dragon and reptile pages on Facebook. I’d asked around and learned the average bearded lifespan is 8-13 years. I felt like I’d done something wrong, like I had messed up and his passing was my fault, and I highly blamed myself. I should have known something was wrong, felt like I could have done something to keep him alive. I felt guilty. What if I had done something different? Would he still be alive?

My dog Casper had passed away December 3, 2013. It was like mourning one pet one day, then another one the next day, and it was extremely difficult to get through.

Therapy sessions after that were extremely difficult, but they really helped me through the rough time. I accepted it was not my fault, and that there was nothing more I could have done. He showed no signs of being sick, it was so sudden, he wasn’t suffering or in pain. And I also had to accept that he had said goodbye to me that last night. I gave him his goodnight hug and kiss, and he clung to my chest and nuzzled me. It was all going to be alright and things would get better.

I knew nothing about reptiles, and five years with no prior experience was not too bad. I’d heard of beardies who never breached two. What I did, I did right.

I plan to get another new beardie baby to love, and give a good life to, and find more happiness. In May of 2022, I was going to get a new baby, but unfortunately I got a really bad injury on my hand, requiring stitches, and I was now in no shape to handle a beardie. It’s now almost August 2022 and I’m still not fully healed, so getting a new beardie was now on the afterburner. But knowing the kind of joy a bearded dragon can provide, I definitely will get another.

Still, in 2021, the prospect of Christmas was rather dim for me. Yes I had my cat, Rose, but I shared her in the family, and she was not fully my cat, compared to the way that Wakka was my beardie.

Then, something happened that saved my Christmas.

If you’re reading this, years after my writing this short story, there might be something new, or better, but in 2021, this was cutting edge technology. I’d wanted to get the Nintendo Switch ever since I first heard of it. But coming from a low-income family, getting it would be difficult. I found I had gift cards and store credit for Game Stop. I also learned about the Nintendo Switch Lite, a portable version of the system. The regular Switch could hook up to a television and also be portable, but it was very expensive. Plus, I only have one main television in my house, and my neighborhood is notorious for losing electricity, so a version that was just portable was ideal. Plus it was $100 cheaper. Earlier in 2021, I had gone to Game Stop and asked about a Nintendo Switch Lite. The clerk checked the computer and saw that there were three in the back of the store. The clerk went into the storage room, and for six exciting minutes, I thought I’d be walking out with one. As it turned out, the worker who usually did inventory had failed at their job, and they actually did not have any Nintendo Switch Lite. This was rather devastating. I had also looked on Amazon to see the availability status, and the wait period on the Nintendo Switch Lite was five to seven months. It looked like I’d be waiting until at least 2022 to get one.

But the week after Wakka passed away, my mum and caregiver (as I am disabled and cannot live on my own) randomly went to Game Stop. She had no idea she would even go there that day, but she decided to check out to see if the clerk knew when they were possibly getting a shipment in. The clerk checked and saw that he did not know when they would possibly be getting new copies in. But, as it turned out, the computer said the store had a used copy right there in the back. The clerk went back and actually, in fact, they did, indeed have a used copy.

When I watch television at home, I usually ignore the phone if I’m truly invested. But as I sat watching television, my mum called. I was mostly ignoring it, until I heard a few choice words. “Game Stop.” “Nintendo Switch Lite” “Used.” “At the store.” I raced for the phone, picked it up, and cried out “BUY IT!” Unfortunately, however, my mum did not have the funds to purchase it… WITH her. But I had the Game Stop gift cards and store credit and knew, from the last experience, that I had more than enough to purchase both the system and a game. My mum told the clerk to hold on to it. Being disabled, including having seizures and brain damage, I’m not permitted to drive. So I gathered all my cards, my mum rushed home, and we rushed back. And with luck, the color they had in was turquoise. In all honesty, if it was purple with pink flowers, I still would have bought it. Honestly, who’d really care? A Nintendo Switch Lite is still a Nintendo Switch Lite. So before dinner, on that day, upon returning home, I now possessed a turquoise Nintendo Switch Lite.

I believe this was a Christmas miracle. I believe it was a Christmas gift for his Dada, for taking such good care of him and giving him so much love for five years. I know he would not have wanted his Dada to be sad on Christmas. I could just imagine him saying to the previous owner, if he could speak English “You! Hooman! You don’t use your Nintendo Switch Lite anymore! Bring it back to the store so my Dada can have it!” And I can imagine him saying to my mum “Gammy! The Game Stop in the Cortland Town Center has a used Nintendo Switch Lite! Get Dada here so he can buy it!” I refuse to believe that anything other than Wakka wanting me to have a happy Christmas occurred. It was Wakka’s Christmas present for me. As I set up the system, it even asked if I wanted to give the console a nickname. I actually did, and coming up with a name took less time than it took to actually read the prompt. My Nintendo Switch Lite is officially named Wakka. It may not have been an actual replacement for Wakka (as how could ANY animal be a replacement for a lost pet), but it was a nice, pleasant, happy surprise. A Christmas present from my dearly departed little goober. I believe this no matter what anyone might say, no one with ever convince me otherwise. And so, with my turquoise Nintendo Switch Lite, nicknamed Wakka, I actually had a happy Christmas.