B'ings: Car Commercials

 

            Hey, all, welcome (back if you truly like my pointless drivel) to From the Mind of One Tim Cubbin! As oft is the case, you are reading a piece by myself, Tim Cubbin.

            First off, let’s talk about why I’m here typing for hours trying to come up with cohesion which you will be done reading in two minutes (if you actually stay for the whole piece, I know I’m boring, but if you actually make it to the last three words in this post, you are THE BEST!). I actually happen to be qualified as a journalist. I went to college, majored in English, minored in journalism. I’m totally certified. So why am I doing this blog instead of writing for a newspaper or reading the teleprompter in a cable news studio? I’m actually legally disabled, seizures and brain damage. Finding a job in my condition is very difficult, but I want to write and have people read what I write, so I do this blog semiprofessionally. I don’t actually get paid, but I spend my time doing regular thirty-some-odd day-to-day activities and am writing a young adult novel series, and when I’m not doing that, I’m working on this blog out of the goodness of my heart for absolutely no money payment. I’m nice like that.

            If you’ve ever been here before, I’ve promised frequent posts, but it’s been a while since I posted. I do have a good explanation for that. I injured my hand really badly, so badly I don’t think you want to know. Because of this, I couldn’t type, and I didn’t want to have anyone else type for me, so I took a hiatus. But now I’m back! You might have noticed I’ve done two other posts frequently (actually on the same day I started this post), and a few other reviews when my hand allowed it, but nothing in the way of B’ings.

            If you haven’t been to a B’ing before, you probably don’t know what the heck a B’ing is. Well, it’s a dirty word minus four letters, which is a slang synonym for complaining. I honestly hope you now know what I mean, but if you don’t, I can’t help you there.

            You may have noticed I’m a little snarky when I write. It’s just my personality, me being me, but actually a lot nicer than I often am. I keep my jokes genial, just for fun without being seriously insulting. If you know me personally (as some of you readers might, and you are reading this out of a sense of obligation because we’re friends or family), you know how I am. I try to add a piece of myself in all my writing, fiction or nonfiction.

This is what I consider an editorial. You may want to classify this as an essay, but this is what I’m calling it, so there it is. I also write essays, being an English major and spending ten years in college. But I don’t personally think of B’ings as essays.

I also say that everything on my blog is my own personal, Tim Cubbin opinion. I’m not expecting you to read this and say “gee, Tim Cubbin makes a good point, I agree with him!” I’m actually expecting for you to feel otherwise. I just tell you like I feel since this is From MY mind. If you don’t agree with what I type, I leave that up to you, but I hope you still want to read past this point.

Anyhoo, I’ve given a super-long introduction and you probably want to get to the good stuff, why we’re actually here. Yes, I lured you here with the promise of me complaining about car commercials. (If you’re actually still here with me reading this, you are THE BEST!) So what could I possibly mean? I actually have two points to make. The first is car safety features. The second is what cars are doing in the commercials.

Let’s start with car safety features. I’ll pick a few for example, explain why I’m complaining, then I’ll move on to my second pointless point.

How about self-parking? Being disabled, I can’t drive, but I pay lots of attention to commercials and have opinions on just about every one I see. So, have you seen commercials that show cars parking themselves? I wouldn’t want to trust that. Having seen people parallel-park and having difficulty, how accurate do you think a machine can be? You need to take several things into consideration when you park.

One: The size of your car. Two: The size of the cars surrounding where you want to park. And three: The amount of room you have for the parking space. I don’t feel like a car would be able to account for these three considerations on its own. So much with that can go wrong. So I feel it’s dangerous, not just for your car, but the cars surrounding your car. It doesn’t seem to me like the entire precision can be executed perfectly.

Next, how about automatic braking? You have cars that if it detects danger in front of the car and automatically stops the car to avoid forward collision. But what about backward collision? Sure, YOUR car stops to protect it from what’s in front of it, but if your car automatically stops and you have cars BEHIND you. Their car might not have automatic braking. Which means… CRASH! You’re rear-ended! In THEORY it seems safe, but in actual EXECUTION, there does seem to me that you might just have a wee bit of a problem.

Or, let’s think about lane control? Your car may be drifting off to the side, and it might compute that you’re driving over the lane and automatically turn to fit the lane. But what if you need to pass someone? Your car might compute that you’re out of your lane and drive you right into the car you’re trying to pass.

And, let’s think about self-driving cars? Would you trust your car to drive itself? There are so many factors that go into driving, like other cars, traffic lights, stops, yields, traffic circles, speed limits, crossings, detours, so much that can go wrong. A car is a machine that can’t properly think for itself. Would you trust that? I certainly don’t! UNLESS! EVERY car on the road was self-driving. Hey, maybe that would somewhat prevent accidents? But for some people, they love driving. I’ve been in cars with plenty of people who drive for a living and love their job. (I’m on Medicaid that covers my car trips to my doctor’s appointments, so I know firsthand how the drivers working for the companies they work for.) Some people feel like driving is fun. And yes, you have people who race professionally (and not like the maniacs on my street at night who cause at least one accident a year). Do you honestly want to have a joy or a passion stripped away from you? I sure wouldn’t. So not only would a person have a dangerous travel if cars drove themselves, the fun aspect just wouldn’t be there.

Next, we’re going to discuss content shown in car commercials. Some commercials actually show cars speeding. You might see a car in a commercial flying by at 100 MPH! YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE DOING THAT! I see no reason for a car to drive over 80 MPH (in my opinion even over 75 MPH is too fast at times). I mean, sure, you have a speed gauge, but it should not be going as fast as it is in some car commercials.

Another pointless feeling is also showing cars doing things they shouldn’t be doing. The commercials show that you CAN ride off-road, after crazy obstacles, and stunts; but that truly does not mean that you SHOULD. Sure you CAN decide to stick your tongue onto a flagpole in winter just to prove it won’t freeze your tongue to it, but SHOULD you do it. There would be germs all over it, you could get sick, and it is actually possibly for your tongue to stick, “A Christmas Story” does not lie on that (I’ve never tried it, but I have a friend I PERSONALLY have do it because he COULD do it, and he totally regretted that choice). I have plenty of other anecdotes, but some would be either too graphic that this blog site would not allow it, or else this post would get even more boring than it already is (I’m even bored writing this, but unfortunately I got this far so that not finishing this post is not an option). Doing these could actually be really dangerous. You could be doing these activities and might not be able to regret doing them if they go wrong.

My point is, some of the things you see in car commercials that seem useful, fun, cool, what-have-you, but the content in car commercials just don’t seem practical to me. But again, because of my disability, I can’t drive, I haven’t seen through a driver’s position (well, actually I did once park my dad’s car in his garage and I was so nervous because I knew if I even scratched the car, I’d be paying for it for the rest of my life and managed to park perfectly, but driving felt like so much pressure to me), so all of this is just my passenger-seat view, and you honestly don’t have to listen or agree with me on anything I’ve typed, and I welcome your disagreement and feedback.

So now, we’re wrapping this horrible editorial up, but first, I have a few things to say (at the top of the list is that if you’re still reading this up to this point, you are THE BEST!). This blog, as I said, contains book reviews, essays, editorials, original short nonfiction and short fiction, original poetry, all kinds of other content, so if you liked this post (and honestly, I’m surprised if you did because even I didn’t like typing this post after breaching 1,000 words, but I just couldn’t leave this post behind me) feel free to check out some of my other work. I keep busy and try to post frequently so you readers have something to read as I’m sure some of you are quite demanding and want more From the Mind of One Tim Cubbin, so I hope you keep reading, I’d love to hear from you, feel free to comment, like, share, retweet, whatever you can do on the platform you found this post on, and until next time, Tim Cubbin… out!

Wakka's Gift

 

            On October 28, 2016, I adopted a bearded dragon. They’re called “bearded dragons” because they’re lizards that inflate their chin with marking that makes it look like a beard.

            I never thought a reptile would steal my heart. I’d only ever had cats or a dog as pets before, so this was going to be new to me. When I went to PetSmart to get my new baby, I thought it would be a difficult choice. There were three beardies in the tank. I looked, and one beardie saw me, climbed over the other two, and placed its hand on the glass. I knew this little baby wanted me.

He was hatched on September 1, 2016, and was very tiny. I have a grip that is way too firm, and I was afraid I’d smush he was so little, and I didn’t actually start holding him until January 2017.

Picking the name was easy enough for me, as I knew the boy or girl names for whichever I brought home. There are several common beardie names, like Norbert, Puff, or Toothless, but I wanted something unique, something different. My favorite video game is Final Fantasy X, and my favorite character is Wakka. I saw this baby and looking at him, I knew Wakka was the right name. He would even eventually learn and understand that his name was Wakka.

He also learned a few other words. He understood me as “Dada.” He also learned the word “bugs” (but what reptile wouldn’t learn that word?). He learned “cartoons” and if I said “Wakka, want to watch cartoons” be got very excited.

I’m living with bipolar disorder, and I saw Wakka as my emotional support animal. We did a lot of things together, including reading and, of course, watching cartoons. He was a very happy little creature, full of happiness and love. Some scientists say bearded dragons don’t know how to love. I think those scientists need to do better research on that. If you saw how he looked at me and played with me, you could see the love.

If I had a horrible day, I could just walk into my room, look at that little guy and how he’d look back at me, and it felt like if that little creature loved me that much, my life honestly couldn’t be all that bad. He always made me smile.

One of the hardest days of my life was December 4, 2021. I woke up to find he had passed over the night. It was devastating. I loved that little guy so much, and now he was gone. It was hard to comprehend, and to cope and deal with. I never thought losing a reptile would be so difficult. My emotional support animal had left me, and life would now be so difficult.

I know, though, that those five years together were some of the happiest of my life, and I had to remember that I gave him a good, happy life, full of nothing but love. I honestly have absolutely no bad memories of Wakka except the morning I found his stiff body. But to pass right before Christmas, well, it was going to be awfully difficult. Five years of being a dada now over.

I’m on several bearded dragon and reptile pages on Facebook. I’d asked around and learned the average bearded lifespan is 8-13 years. I felt like I’d done something wrong, like I had messed up and his passing was my fault, and I highly blamed myself. I should have known something was wrong, felt like I could have done something to keep him alive. I felt guilty. What if I had done something different? Would he still be alive?

My dog Casper had passed away December 3, 2013. It was like mourning one pet one day, then another one the next day, and it was extremely difficult to get through.

Therapy sessions after that were extremely difficult, but they really helped me through the rough time. I accepted it was not my fault, and that there was nothing more I could have done. He showed no signs of being sick, it was so sudden, he wasn’t suffering or in pain. And I also had to accept that he had said goodbye to me that last night. I gave him his goodnight hug and kiss, and he clung to my chest and nuzzled me. It was all going to be alright and things would get better.

I knew nothing about reptiles, and five years with no prior experience was not too bad. I’d heard of beardies who never breached two. What I did, I did right.

I plan to get another new beardie baby to love, and give a good life to, and find more happiness. In May of 2022, I was going to get a new baby, but unfortunately I got a really bad injury on my hand, requiring stitches, and I was now in no shape to handle a beardie. It’s now almost August 2022 and I’m still not fully healed, so getting a new beardie was now on the afterburner. But knowing the kind of joy a bearded dragon can provide, I definitely will get another.

Still, in 2021, the prospect of Christmas was rather dim for me. Yes I had my cat, Rose, but I shared her in the family, and she was not fully my cat, compared to the way that Wakka was my beardie.

Then, something happened that saved my Christmas.

If you’re reading this, years after my writing this short story, there might be something new, or better, but in 2021, this was cutting edge technology. I’d wanted to get the Nintendo Switch ever since I first heard of it. But coming from a low-income family, getting it would be difficult. I found I had gift cards and store credit for Game Stop. I also learned about the Nintendo Switch Lite, a portable version of the system. The regular Switch could hook up to a television and also be portable, but it was very expensive. Plus, I only have one main television in my house, and my neighborhood is notorious for losing electricity, so a version that was just portable was ideal. Plus it was $100 cheaper. Earlier in 2021, I had gone to Game Stop and asked about a Nintendo Switch Lite. The clerk checked the computer and saw that there were three in the back of the store. The clerk went into the storage room, and for six exciting minutes, I thought I’d be walking out with one. As it turned out, the worker who usually did inventory had failed at their job, and they actually did not have any Nintendo Switch Lite. This was rather devastating. I had also looked on Amazon to see the availability status, and the wait period on the Nintendo Switch Lite was five to seven months. It looked like I’d be waiting until at least 2022 to get one.

But the week after Wakka passed away, my mum and caregiver (as I am disabled and cannot live on my own) randomly went to Game Stop. She had no idea she would even go there that day, but she decided to check out to see if the clerk knew when they were possibly getting a shipment in. The clerk checked and saw that he did not know when they would possibly be getting new copies in. But, as it turned out, the computer said the store had a used copy right there in the back. The clerk went back and actually, in fact, they did, indeed have a used copy.

When I watch television at home, I usually ignore the phone if I’m truly invested. But as I sat watching television, my mum called. I was mostly ignoring it, until I heard a few choice words. “Game Stop.” “Nintendo Switch Lite” “Used.” “At the store.” I raced for the phone, picked it up, and cried out “BUY IT!” Unfortunately, however, my mum did not have the funds to purchase it… WITH her. But I had the Game Stop gift cards and store credit and knew, from the last experience, that I had more than enough to purchase both the system and a game. My mum told the clerk to hold on to it. Being disabled, including having seizures and brain damage, I’m not permitted to drive. So I gathered all my cards, my mum rushed home, and we rushed back. And with luck, the color they had in was turquoise. In all honesty, if it was purple with pink flowers, I still would have bought it. Honestly, who’d really care? A Nintendo Switch Lite is still a Nintendo Switch Lite. So before dinner, on that day, upon returning home, I now possessed a turquoise Nintendo Switch Lite.

I believe this was a Christmas miracle. I believe it was a Christmas gift for his Dada, for taking such good care of him and giving him so much love for five years. I know he would not have wanted his Dada to be sad on Christmas. I could just imagine him saying to the previous owner, if he could speak English “You! Hooman! You don’t use your Nintendo Switch Lite anymore! Bring it back to the store so my Dada can have it!” And I can imagine him saying to my mum “Gammy! The Game Stop in the Cortland Town Center has a used Nintendo Switch Lite! Get Dada here so he can buy it!” I refuse to believe that anything other than Wakka wanting me to have a happy Christmas occurred. It was Wakka’s Christmas present for me. As I set up the system, it even asked if I wanted to give the console a nickname. I actually did, and coming up with a name took less time than it took to actually read the prompt. My Nintendo Switch Lite is officially named Wakka. It may not have been an actual replacement for Wakka (as how could ANY animal be a replacement for a lost pet), but it was a nice, pleasant, happy surprise. A Christmas present from my dearly departed little goober. I believe this no matter what anyone might say, no one with ever convince me otherwise. And so, with my turquoise Nintendo Switch Lite, nicknamed Wakka, I actually had a happy Christmas.

B'ings: Teeth

            Howdy, y’all, and welcome (possibly back, if you’ve been here before) to From the Mind of One Tim Cubbin! Reporting today is Tim Cubbin, manager of this blog!

            Okay, so, I have to say, it’s been quite a while since I did one of these B’ings. I’d been doing a lot of reviews in my more recent posts and have been completely ignoring B’ings, so I thought it was high time to do another one of these.

            So, in the past couple of months, my cat passed away, and I sustained a pretty serious injury (which I’m sure y’all don’t want to hear about, so we’ll just skip that), so I’ve been off the grid. But I’m recovered enough to come back to the blog, so here I am now.

            Now, I know some of you might have no idea what, exactly, a B’ing is. I don’t like to use profanity on this blog, I keep it G-Rated, but think of a dirty word, drop the last four letters, and make it an action, and I think you might have figured out what a B’ing is now. If you don’t get it, just think of this as a complaint department. So a B’ing is where I take a peeve of mine and go on and on in a pointless fashion, and if you actually read this whole post, you are THE BEST! Sometimes there actually IS a relevancy, but most of the time, you might wonder why I actually do these things. Well, I went to college, I have a degree in English with a minor in journalism, and am officially a journalist. But I am legally disabled and getting a job isn’t possible, so in my spare time I read, watch shows and movies, and play video games, and yes, I write (I’m working on a young adult novel series right now, and I totally plan on getting published, so expect to eventually go to a book store and find my name on the cover), so I keep busy. So, a journalist without a job is pretty boring, so to get my words out, I write this blog. And I do it for free out of the kindness of my heart, so you are totally lucky you get to read this drivel, and you taking the time to read this is greatly appreciated.

            I now tell you that EVERYTHING on this blog is MY OWN PERSONAL opinion. I don’t expect you to understand or agree with what I say. In fact, I welcome you to disagree with me. That is the beauty of being a human being. We all have our own opinions. This is all just mine.

            Now, you can probably get the point (more like pointlessness) of this post. You’re here because: 1) You are a regular reader of this blog and read everything I write; 2) You are a friend of mine on Facebook and thought you wanted to check this out; or 3) You saw the # and are intrigued by this. Whyever you’re here, you’re here and that means a lot to me. But yes, I gave the title “B’ings: Teeth,” and that is what I am here today to talk about.

            Do you notice that everyone now must have perfect, shiny, white teeth? It’s totally expected these days. But when did that become a requirement? In my day, you were happy just not having cavities. Or gingivitis. The dentist didn’t tell you how shiny your teeth were, just how healthy they were. You didn’t have to look in the mirror every morning, shine the light on it and be like “bling!” I mean, people don’t smile if they smoke or drink coffee because it’s embarrassing that their teeth don’t shine. If your teeth aren’t shiny white, you have an ugly smile. When did this start? When I was in high school, we didn’t have whitening toothpaste, or whitening strips, or whitening trays, or tooth polish, or anything like that. We had for sensitivity and gingivitis and whatnot, but whitening? Not a thing. Then I’m in my third year of college and all the commercials come on and it’s like, a big deal. And here’s a little known fact: All those extra things except toothpaste made for whitening your teeth? They’re abrasive. Each time you put those things on, you’re eroding your enamel. So sure you’re making your teeth LOOK good, but you’re not making your teeth HEALTHY! I went to college embarrassed of my teeth. I come from a lower-class family and I couldn’t afford a dentist, so I brushed my teeth three times a day using a different kind of toothpaste each time. In the morning I did sensitivity. After lunch in between class, I used enamel restoring toothpaste. At night I used whitening toothpaste. Unfortunately, I had a major problem that toothpaste just couldn’t fix: I was on the medication Lithium. Lithium contains a very high level of salt in it. This ate away at my teeth. I was on Lithium since 2002 and taken off in 2020, and no matter how much I brushed, it just didn’t work. As a market research interviewer, I did a lot of paperwork and dealt with a lot of people every day. I tried to hold my lips a certain way so no one saw the horror in my mouth, but it never worked. People saw, and it was extremely embarrassing. I was finally put on disability, with Medicaid and Medicare and could get dental work, but it wasn’t enough. I had to have every tooth extracted all at once. Not pleasant and not a good story, so we’ll leave that alone. I finally got dentures. Fun fact: You can actually pick a color when your dentures are being made. And no, you don’t just go to the dentist two times and have your dentures. It takes six fitting sessions over the span of several months, and you don’t just pop them in and out as you have to use seal so they stay in your mouth and the paste does not come off easy. In all honesty, I never wear my dentures, I find them extremely uncomfortable. But when I picked out my color, I picked what seems like an odd choice, and did not pick perfect white. I wanted them to look natural and made them off-white. So when I look at people and see “perfect” teeth, it hurts me mentally. And back in my day, we had braces. Metal braces. That they stuck to your teeth to fix the position so your teeth were steady to make sure your teeth had a proper formation, and you might have needed them for years. Now you have those things you pop in your mouth at night to fix the position. In my day, we didn’t have that. (And, oh, my gosh, I’m saying “in my day” a lot. I’m SO OLD!) And let’s talk about losing teeth as children. You know those scenes in movies where they tie something around a loose tooth and use a heavy weight to yank it out? DON’T DO THAT! It DOES NOT work! I’ve heard of people getting seriously hurt doing that. Especially if the tooth is not loose, but the kid wants the Tooth Fairy to come, as that will cause permanent damage, so DO NOT encourage such behavior. I know we can’t control what our kids watch these days, but a lot of shows and movies show it and it is not a safe thing to do. I actually have firsthand experience and believe me, it was NOT fun. If a tooth is loose, don’t fiddle with it. (Although, in all honesty, if you’re reading this, you’ve probably shed all your baby teeth and this is kind of pointless to say, but I’m still saying it anyway). I used to yank them out, and the results were not pleasant. The best way to do it is to wiggle it back and forth with your tongue. So if you’re an adult, teach this to your kids, it’s very important to know. And also, let’s talk about the Tooth Fairy. In my day (again, I’m old), I got a dollar per tooth. And my mum took my fallen-out tooth right after I lost it, put it in a little plastic bag, put a dollar in a bag exactly like it when I wasn’t looking, and swapped the bags before putting the money bag under my pillow. So parents, this is a good tactic and works very well. Now, I don’t know how much parents these days give for a lost tooth. In my mum’s day, she got a quarter. Now kids probably get an obscene amount such as five dollars these days. (Gotta love inflation.) And also, kids are now con artists. They know the Tooth Fairy isn’t real, but know how to work parents to get money anyway. Kids these days don’t believe in anything (Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, or the Great Pumpkin, to name a few), they just want the presents. (And now I’m saying “kids these days,” I AM old!) But telling young kids about them being made up can now be considered emotionally scarring, so just go along with it.

            And I would be remiss if I complained about teeth and not mention dentists. Going to the dentist, well, I’d rather have gotten stuck in the DMV for seven hours then deal with that scraping hook. Lucky me, I don’t have to go to the dentist anymore, but yeah, going to the dentist? Not fun. And going to the dentist is important, don’t let your kids tell you they don’t want to go, and if you want, you can tell them my story, that’s horrifying enough to make your kids want to go, having every tooth in your mouth pulled out all at once, I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. (Okay, maybe I would for some people, but I will keep them to myself.) Novocain only does just so much. But, I mean, let’s face it, who ACTUALLY WANTS to go to the dentist? (If you answer yes, I would actually dislocate my jaw in surprise.) I don’t think even dentists want to go to the dentist. Pretty sadistic job, in my opinion. I don’t know if any of you agree or disagree with me, like I said, this is all my own personal opinion, feel however you want to about everything I’ve just typed, I welcome dissent. And if you are on medications, going to the dentist is extremely important, I would know the effects if you don’t, as much as you hate it.

            Okay, hopefully you don’t equate this post as painful as having a tooth pulled, but I think we should start wrapping this up. If you’re still reading this post up to this point, thank you, you are THE BEST. Now, for those of you who have never been to From the Mind of One Tim Cubbin before, I will say that I do not just write these stupid things. I write reviews of mostly Marvel Comics books and comics, and I have done literally dozens of them. I also write short fiction and nonfiction, I actually have an idea high up on this to-do list, I have a whole bunch of index cards right now with ideas I have to tackle, as I had been injured really badly and couldn’t write. I also have some poetry on this blog (even though I personally hate, don’t understand and can’t format, do I do free-verse poetry in mostly epic poetry format). I also write pieces about mental health, illness, and wellness, which are actually important topics, but don’t get many reads. I post often. Like I said, have plenty of ideas. There’s plenty to find on this blog to like and enjoy, and now I’ll finish off with three more simple words: Tim Cubbin… out! 

"Amazing Spider-Man: Beyond"

 

            The following is a review of the Marvel Comics event “Amazing Spider-Man: Beyond” as presented on Marvel Unlimited.

            Peter Parker was just your average, everyday high school student. His parents died when he was a little boy and he grew up with his Aunt May and Uncle Ben. He was super smart, and bullied for it. One day, he went to a radiology demonstration. As the demonstration began, a small spider got in the way of the rays and became irradiated. The radioactive spider then bit Peter. Peter discovered he now had adhesive fingertips and toes, has the proportional strength, speed and agility of a spider his size, and had a precognitive awareness of danger he calls “spider-sense.” He also created webs which he shoots from devices mounted to his wrists. At first he tried to make money with his powers by showing off. One day, he allowed a robber to get past him when he could have easily stopped him, Peter caring only for number one: him. This robber took Peter’s Uncle Ben from him. Peter then decided to use his powers for the benefit of others, following a lesson that Uncle Ben had imparted into him: With great power there must also come great responsibility. Using these powers for good soon turned into stopping crime combatting others with powers using them for evil purposes, super villains. This made Peter the super hero the Amazing Spider-Man.

            Several years back, Peter Parker was cloned. He found himself face-to-face with his clone, and after the battle, Peter believed the clone vanquished. The clone, however, survived and tried to live a normal life as Ben Reilly. Ben eventually returned, and reluctantly ended up becoming the super hero the Scarlet Spider. Ben and Peter formed an understanding, and Ben lived his own life over the years following.

            The Beyond Corporation has been putting out products and services benefitting the public. Now, they have created a Super Hero Development Project, headed by Maxine Danger. Beyond has purchased the rights to the Spider-Man name, and wanted to have their own Spider-Man working for them. But the Spider-Man they have hired is not Peter Parker. They have hired Ben Reilly. They have upgraded many things for him, including a high-tech costume and other spider-related gadgets, as well as a penthouse apartment with his girlfriend Janine Godbe, a convict Beyond managed to have released from jail. He was assigned a handler named Marcus Momplaisir, as well as assistance from the Daughters of the Dragon, Misty Knight and Colleen Wing and Monica Rambeau/Spectrum. He is also assigned to therapy from Doctor Ashley Kafka. Beyond has also employed the super hero team the Slingers.

            Peter finds himself allied with Ben against the super villain team the U-Foes, including Vapor and X-Ray. Having a high-tech new costume, Ben emerged unscathed, and the U-Foes were captured. Peter, however, was not so lucky. This battle landed Peter in the hospital, fighting for his life. His girlfriend Mary Jane Watson and Aunt May rush to Peter’s side. Mary Jane is one of the few people who knows Peter Parker is Spider-Man. Peter’s ex, the sometimes super hero thief Felicia Hardy/Black Cat also comes to Peter’s bedside. As Peter’s condition gets worse, Ben comes to Peter in the hospital. Peter tells Ben there has to be a Spider-Man and gives Ben his blessing before lapsing into a coma.

            As Spider-Man, Ben finds himself facing several of Peter’s old villains, including the pseudo-vampire Doctor Michael Morbius, Kraven the Hunter, and Doctor Octopus. Ben is also assigned to have Miles Morales give up the name of Spider-Man as Beyond owns the Spidey rights and Miles is committing infringement. After meeting and eventually teaming-up with Miles, Ben turns down this order.

            Meanwhile, Aunt May, who is a force of nature, refuses to give up on her nephew and forms an unorthodox team-up with her ex-fiancé and super villain, Doctor Otto Octavius/Doctor Octopus, in an attempt to save Peter’s life, and the pair actually manage to get samples from the U-Foes that brings Peter out of his coma.

            While still incapacitated, the super villain and crook Parker Robbins/the Hood holds Peter at gunpoint. His hood has been stolen, and Robbins wants it back. Black Cat then says the Mary Jane is part of her crew, and Black Cat and Mary Jane go on a mission to retrieve the stolen hood by sunup or else Peter’s life is forfeit. Through trickery, Black Cat and Mary Jane retrieve the hood, but not in the way Robbins expects.

            Peter is not in any shape to be Spider-Man, but he wants to get back to the job. So, at nights, Peter receives training sessions with Black Cat and Steve Rogers/Captain America, preparing to get back into the game.

            Ben manages to obtain a Beyond data drive and learns that Beyond is keeping him compliant by erasing some of Ben’s memories. They accidentally erase several of Ben’s key memories, such as “with great power there must also come great responsibility” and end up sending Ben into a downward spiral.

            Meanwhile, Beyond is not just developing a Super Hero Project, but also a Super Villain Project. To that end, Beyond creates Queen Goblin in an attempt to bring Ben back into their fold. Now Peter, Ben, Misty, Colleen, and Spectrum must team-up to expose Beyond and bring them down.

            Some of my readers who go way back with me may have read my review of “Spider-Man: The Clone Saga.” If you haven’t, maybe you should consider reading it, as it will provide greater context of this story. You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but I totally suggest you check it out.

            Anyway, you probably want me to tell you what I thought of it, if I recommend it, to whom I recommend it, how accessible I feel this story was to casual/non readers, and my numeric score, so I’ll get to that promptly.

If you read my review of “Spider-Man: The Clone Saga,” you will know that I felt it was disjointed and inaccessible because it crossed over into several series and had multiple storylines. Almost all this issues “Amazing Spider-Man: Beyond” on Marvel Unlimited were of “The Amazing Spider-Man” with the one exception being a one-shot “Mary Jane & Black Cat: Beyond.” This did have multiple storylines in the event, but not every issue focused on Peter and Ben. While most of the story was consistent, the stories of the Daughters of the Dragon, Aunt May and Doctor Octopus, Spectrum, the Slingers, and Mary Jane and Black Cat were not all characters as prominent as Spider-Man. Even Ben Reilly is a lesser-known character, and casual/non readers probably only know Peter Parker and Miles Morales from the movies and cartoons and don’t know Ben as Spider-Man. However, the villains Morbius, Kraven and Doc Ock are more prominent characters from the movies and cartoons. Still, I don’t think that makes up for that. Me being a huge Marvel fan, I know a lot about these characters, but I know you may not. So if you have never picked up a Marvel Comic book in your entire life, this is not a good place to start. However, if you are a reader of Spider-Man comics dating back to “The Clone Saga” in the ‘90s, I think this might be worth the read. I felt like the stories were self-contained, but a reader needs extensive knowledge to actually read and understand these stories. I think it’s inaccessible to any non or casual reader. As far as the stories themselves go, I did find them rather entertaining. I read the whole event twice, as individual issues as they became available on Marvel Unlimited, then as one consecutive binge, finishing in less than twenty-four hours, and I did enjoy them both times. I’ve always been a fan of Ben Reilly. The first Marvel comic book I ever bought was “The Amazing Spider-Man” #410, which was at the first point where Ben was Spider-Man, so he holds a special place in my mind. Incidentally, as this will probably never come up again, in that issue Ben became Spider-Carnage, which is possibly why my favorite super villain is Carnage. (I recently reviewed “Carnage: Born in Blood,” if you want to read that one too.) Unfortunately, I have to say that Ben’s downward spiral was devastating for me. I always thought he was a great character, and when I first read the event as it became individually available, I was so excited he was back in the Spidey costume (I also like Ben’s Spider-Man costume better than Peter’s, I think it’s so much cooler). I felt like it would have great potential, and yet for me, it fell flat. I did appreciate that this story didn’t go all over the place like “The Clone Saga,” and I thought the villain choices were great. I loved Aunt May’s persistence, storming into the hospital and scaring the heck out of all the staff, and her turning back to Doc Ock was for me an interesting twist. I’ve also been a fan of the Black Cat, so her part in Peter’s rehabilitation was enjoyable for me, and her team-up with Mary Jane was so interesting for me as well. But I didn’t quite like the character of Janine Godbe. First off, to me she looked like a poor man’s version of Mary Jane, with the red hair and green eyes, just like Mary Jane Watson, so of course Ben fell for this cheap imitation since he couldn’t get the real deal. Second, she was a convict, and Beyond pulled strings and got her out, which made her unlikable to me. And third, her other history was not covered, so her character to me felt two-dimensional. I’m not saying she wasn’t a useful character, she helped big time with the data drive, I’m just saying she wasn’t provided with enough background for me to like the character. I have to say I liked the inclusion of Miles Morales and their little Spider-Person tussle felt fun for me.

But we do have a major problem with this event. When you think of a comic book, you should also think graphic novel. This means it contains artwork and story, and both of those need to be considered. I feel like you could call this a showcase. There were several writers and several artists. That is a MAJOR conflict. While the multiple writers did produce a rather decent story, some of the artwork just did not please me. I’m being nice to the artists and not naming names here, but some of the artwork was not to my liking. Some of the artwork blew me away, and some of the artwork just made me think “meh.” The styles of artwork were too varied, and that was the only cause of inconsistency. It’s like looking at two paintings, where they’re both supposed to be the same thing but if you really focus you see that they’re both completely different. That’s how the art in this event made me feel. Every artist drew Ben so differently, it was just so hard to accept that this was all the same character.

Okay, I hope I’m not boring you, and if you’re still here reading this, you are THE BEST! So now you probably want to hear me give this a numeric score. If you’ve read any of my other dozens of reviews (I kid you not, there are literally dozens), you know I’m a very harsh scorer. If I give it a seven or higher, it might actually potentially be good for other readers. Even if I give it a one, it might still be good for other readers. On this blog, I offer you nothing other than my own personal opinions. Just mine. I’m not forcing you to accept everything I say. I even invite you to disagree with me, so if you want to say anything to me and my other readers, feel free to leave comments, as that would be THE BEST! (No one has ever left a comment for me before, so feel free to be the first). It’s the beauty of free will that we all have our own individual opinions. For example, some people saw “Thor: Love and Thunder” and said it was the worst Marvel Cinematic Universe movie, while others say it was amazing. I will not say if it was a good movie or a bad movie because we all have our own personal opinions, a fact I wish people would accept. (I personally rather enjoyed it, I’d score it at seven out of ten). And yes, I score out of ten. One is the worst, ten is the best. When I give a score, I have to take everything into consideration. This means both stories and art. The stories felt decent and entertaining to me, but some of the artists just didn’t draw me a pleasing experience. So factoring it all in, I score it as… six. My reasoning has already been completely explained I don’t think I have to say anything else.

Speaking of not having to say anything else, let’s wrap this all up. I know this has been a long read, and this has taken me over two hours to write, so let’s just finish this now. But before I go, I must reiterate that I have literally written dozens of Marvel reviews, and my work is just all piled up on my desk. I have short stories I’m working on, I have more B’ings on the way, and you can expect plenty more to read in the following weeks. So I’m getting to work on some other things now to keep you reading, and until next time, Tim Cubbin… out!

“Carnage: Born in Blood” by David Michelinie, Tom DeFalco, Terry Kavanagh & J.M. DeMatteis

 

            The following is a review of the graphic novel “Carnage: Born in Blood” by David Michelinie, Tom DeFalco, Terry Kavanagh & J.M. DeMatteis.

            Cletus Kasady was born into a broken home and grew up in St. Estes Home for Boys, where he was badly bullied. He would go on to commit arson on the orphanage and many other heinous crimes that landed him in Riker’s Island Prison Complex serving eleven consecutive life sentences.

            Peter Parker was orphaned as a little boy and grew up with his elderly Aunt May and Uncle Ben. As a high school student when he was bitten by a radioactive spider at a radiology demonstration. He gained the proportional strength and agility of a spider, adhesive fingertips and toes, and a precognitive awareness of personal danger he calls “spider-sense.” He also created web shooters. He first used his powers to show off and try to make money. He allowed a robber to run past him when he easily could have stopped the robber. The robber later broke into Aunt May and Uncle Ben’s house and murdered Uncle Ben. Peter then took a saying from his Uncle Ben to heart: “With great power there must also come great responsibility.” He then vowed to use his powers for good and became a super hero called the Amazing Spider-Man. Peter kept his identity as Spider-Man a secret, telling no one of his alter ego. On one of his many adventures, Peter was sent to the planet Battleworld with almost all the other heroes and villains in the Marvel Universe. His costume was damaged, and he came upon a device that gave him a new costume. The costume could produce its own webbing, amplified Peter’s abilities, and could change shape. Peter brought the costume back home to earth and continued to wear it. Superhero Reed Richards/Mister Fantastic of the Fantastic Four ran a diagnostic on the costume and discovered it was a living organism called a symbiote that wanted to permanently bond with Peter. Reed discovered the symbiote was weak against sound. Peter was able to separate from the symbiote and thought he had destroyed it. But he was wrong. Peter married Mary Jane Watson, one of the only people who knew Peter was Spider-Man.

            Eddie Brock was a disgraced journalist. He blamed the end of his career on Spider-Man. He stumbled upon the symbiote Peter rejected and the two bonded in their mutual hatred for Spider-Man, and they became Venom, who became one of Spider-Man’s deadliest enemies. Venom had all the same powers as Spider-Man, and didn’t set off Peter’s spider sense. Spider-Man defeated Venom and separated Eddie and the symbiote. Eddie was sent to Riker’s Island Prison Complex, where he became cellmates with Cletus Kasady. Eddie always hoped the symbiote would reunite with him. Then, one night, the symbiote did indeed return and broke Eddie out of prison. In the process, however, a piece of the symbiote was left behind. Kasady bonded with this symbiote and busted out of Riker’s. Kasady and the symbiote took on the name Carnage, and went on a nasty crime spree.

            Peter went on to investigate the crime spree, believing this to be the work of Venom. Peter had previously battled Venom on a desert island, and Peter faked his death to give Venom a sense of satisfaction and let Venom find peace. Peter came face-to-face with Carnage and was defeated. Peter realized he could not defeat Carnage on his own, and turned to Venom for help. Venom returned to New York with Peter. Carnage set his sight on Peter’s boss J. Jonah Jameson, publisher of the newspaper The Daily Bugle. Spider-Man and Venom were able to defeat Carnage and destroy Kasady’s symbiote. Peter thought the nightmare of Carnage was over. He was wrong.

            Richard and Mary Parker, Peter’s parents, as it turned out were not really dead. They were spies, and had been captured and held in a Russian prison for twenty years. Peter’s best friend, Harry Osborn became the super villain the Green Goblin, and met with an unfortunate end. Mary Jane then asked Peter to give up being Spider-Man for two weeks, and Peter gave Mary Jane his word that he would.

            Kasady was brought to Ravencroft, a maximum security institution for the criminally insane for study. The doctors there were under the impression that Carnage was just a regular costume that could just be taken on and off, and not actually a living organism. And the symbiote actually had entered Kasady’s bloodstream. Kasady became Carnage again. As he escaped from Ravencroft, Carnage released another criminal, Sandra Deel, called Shriek. Shriek had the powers of supersonic blasts and the psychic ability to bring out the worst aspects of a person. Fortunately for Kasady, Carnage was now immune to sonics. The two criminals immediately fell in love. After their escape, the two ran across the monstrous Spider-Doppelganger. After realizing that the creature posed no threat, Shriek and Carnage “adopted” it.

            Peter immediately broke his promise to Mary Jane after learning of Carnage’s escape and rushed off as Spider-Man. Unfortunately, he proved no match against the “Carnage Family.” Spider-Man was then joined by Tyrone Johnson/Cloak and Tandy Bowen/Dagger. The team-up met a snag when Shriek destroyed Dagger.

            Venom, meanwhile, heard of Carnage’s resurgence and returned to New York to battle his “offspring.”

            Spider-Man then found himself fighting the demonic creature called the Demogoblin, whose aim was to purge the world of sinners and deliver vengeance. After a brief battle, the Demogoblin escaped.

            Peter returned home, but he and Mary Jane were visited by none other than Eddie Brock. Mary Jane then stormed off from Peter after Spider-Man and Venom decided to team-up again. She went to see Aunt May, Richard and Mary Parker. Peter then turned to his ex-lover and ally Felicia Hardy/Black Cat for assistance. This alliance failed when Peter refused to do whatever it takes to end the threat of Carnage for good, and Black Cat and Venom went off on their own.

            Demogoblin encountered the Carnage Family and allowed himself to be “adopted” by Carnage and Shriek. Then a clone of an old Spider-Man villain the Jackal, who called himself Carrion, and possessed a decaying touch joined the Carnage family.

            Spider-Man then found himself surrounded by ordinary New Yorkers who were now under Shriek’s influence and at an impasse as he did not want to hurt these people but had to stop the Carnage Family.

            Michael Morbius, a former scientist and now a pseudo-vampire, dug into Shriek’s history, hoping to find information that could be used to bring down the Carnage family.

            Spider-Man, Venom and Black Cat met up again and reformed their alliance.

            Deathlok, a cybernetic organism also joined into the battle against the Carnage Family, but was swiftly defeated.

            Cloak also rejoined the Spider-Alliance, bringing the mutant Anjelica Jones/Firestar with him. Firestar’s powers include flight and microwave blasts, an ability that could help against the Carnage Family as the symbiotes are weak against strong heat and fire, and Morbius joined with the Spider-Alliance. The alliance was temporary, as Spider-Man and Firestar both did not wish to cross the line against Carnage.

            Danny Rand/Iron Fist also joined the fray, rescuing Deathlok, and Steve Rogers/Captain America, Iron Fist and Deathlok joined in with Spider-Man and Firestar.

            Carnage then abducted Venom and proceeded to torture his “father.”

            The Spider-Alliance learned that they had the ability to restore the good natures to the Shriek-controlled New Yorkers, but this proved only to be temporary. But two returning heroes then helped turn the tide against the Carnage Family.

            Still Carnage would not stop and set his sights upon a childhood friend, William Bentine, who Spider-Man then attempted to rescue.

 

            So, some of you may know my favorite Marvel super villain is Carnage, and if you didn’t, now you know. So you can imagine I got this Epic Collection as soon as I could. Some of my prior readers may have noticed I already reviewed the Marvel Comics Event “Maximum Carnage” which was the primary storyline in this book and may see some redundancies. That said, this book gave more content that was not in my prior review, particularly the original “Carnage” storyline and origin of Cletus Kasady/Carnage and another further Carnage battle, so this review is not exactly the same. It should be noted that when I score, I give it at the actual moment, and my scores may change before and after writing my reviews.

            The content in this graphic novel was originally published between the years of 1991-1994, I feel should be noted. I have regularly been reading Marvel comics since 2001, and I have read many Carnage stories over the years. That said, “Maximum Carnage” has been my favorite Carnage storyline published up to this point. My reasoning for this has been that the heroes battling Carnage was consistent. Many Carnage stories have focused on several perspectives, meaning they are an event crossover of different series. There were five Spider-Man series at the time, and this event was contained only in Spider-Man series, with the main focus on Peter Parker/Spider-Man. Other storylines such as “Absolute Carnage” for example were a crossover event and was a limited series with tie-ins from other series that focused on different characters and occasionally were contradictory, such as dialogue changing between the different series and scenes not consistent between series. This event was just one continuous storyline, with just one narrative, and that is why this story has been my favorite Carnage storyline to date.

            As to why Carnage is my favorite Marvel super villain, he’s dangerous. Most of the time, the heroes win, and the comic is just how the heroes go from point A to point B, from the start of the villain conflict to the hero defeating the villain, and everything else is just in-between, how the hero defeats the villain. With Carnage, there have only been few times Peter Parker/Spider-Man has ever defeated him on his own, so I always like seeing the alliances it takes to defeat Carnage. He’s a very powerful villain and often out-classes the heroes who battle him, which makes the victories that much more surprising. For those of you who have seen the film “Venom: Let There Be Carnage” (which truly was a disappointment to me), Carnage is not that easy to defeat in the comics as he was in the movie, and I thought that the comic storyline “Maximum Carnage” (that the film was based on) was so much better.

            And, lest we forget, this WAS a “Graphic” novel, and that is very important. You can have the best comic book story that you have ever read, but the artwork is just unbearably awful and ruins your enjoyment of the graphic novel. Or you can have stellar art, but the story is just completely flat. Let’s also point out the time of publication. There have been several periods of comic book art that exemplify the time period. One of my all-time favorite comic book artists is Mark Bagley, and he was one of the primary artists whose work was featured in this graphic novel. To me, this graphic novel had a story I loved, and MOST of the artists satisfied and impressed me, but this also impacts on my score.

            I enjoyed the three stories contained in this book. BUT! All that said, there WAS indeed a story where Spider-Man battle Carnage on his own, and that DOES impact my score. Which I am sure you want to know (if you’re still here, and if you are, you are THE BEST!), so let’s get to it. I score on a scale of one-to-ten, one being the worst, ten being the best. You can now tell that this will have a good score, but will not be a ten. So, all-in-all, everything taken into consideration, the stories, the art, all cards on the table, I score it as an eight. There was so much I loved in this book, but there were aspects that just didn’t meet my expectations, including some of the art that just wasn’t to my liking, and a story that just didn’t wow me, but I still heavily enjoyed this book.

            Now, I will say I give this book my recommendation. As I said, “Maximum Carnage” has been my favorite Carnage storyline, and “Carnage” was a good read in my opinion. You could probably find “Maximum Carnage” in a separate graphic novel, but the two other storylines made me feel getting “Carnage: Born in Blood” is more worth it. If you are a fan of Carnage from either the film or the cartoons and want to get into comics, if you are reading this review, I think you should look into reading this book. If you are a comic fan and have never read the earliest comic appearances of Carnage, totally look into reading this book. If you’ve never read a Marvel Comic before and are looking for a good place to start, there is a gap between several of the stories that may confuse first-time readers, so this book is not completely self-contained, and this might not be a totally great start for you. Still, if you’re reading this review and this graphic novel has you intrigued based solely on what I’ve typed for you here now, and are now considering reading this graphic novel, I say go for it. I don’t think this was a perfect book, but I do think it was a good book. So if you want to, give it a try.

            Before I sign off, I will say that this blog has dozens of reviews of graphic and prose novels (most are Marvel though), and I write short stories, poetry, essays, and editorials (and I am working on several projects at this time), and I post frequently (I’d taken a few month off because I had a hand injury and could not type), so you can expect more. If you’ve read this and liked this review, there’s plenty more to see and read, so you can keep coming back for more. I’ll say that if you’re still reading this post at this point and want to read more of my work, you are THE BEST! I’ll be back, and I hope you will too. Until next time, Tim Cubbin… out!

"The Incredible Hulk: Crossroads" by Bill Mantlo

            The following is a review/critique of the graphic novel “The Incredible Hulk: Crossroads” by Bill Mantlo as presented in Marvel Epic Collection format.

            Doctor Brian Banner worked as an atomic researcher. His wife Rebecca Banner and Brian conceived a child together. Brian figured that this baby would take the focus of their marriage, being rather narcissistic, turning Rebecca’s attention to the baby and no longer to Brian. This created Brian to have great resentment towards the baby. Rebecca had a difficult pregnancy, and had to have a C-section to birth the baby, a situation where Brian would rather have his wife survive than the baby. Fortunately, Rebecca survived, and named the baby Robert Bruce Banner. Brian, having been exposed to radiation, believed this baby to be a monster and gave Bruce absolutely nothing but contempt. Brian hired Nurse Meachum to babysit Bruce, but Meachum was too strict. Bruce perceived Nurse Meachum to be a goblin. Bruce had a stuffed toy that was Bruce’s only friend, a guardian. He also had a star mobile, which emitted a glow, Bruce’s only light as a child. Brian grew to resent not just Bruce, but also Rebecca, who, as Brian predicted, turned her attention more to Bruce than Brian. A family tragedy turned custody from Bruce to Rebecca’s sister. As Bruce grew up he developed an aptitude to science, but at school paid little attention to his classmates, absorbed in his schoolwork. When he was an adult, he was hired to Desert Base to build the gamma bomb for the United States military, answering to General Thaddeus “Thunderbolt” Ross. Bruce met Ross’ daughter Betty and immediately fell in love with her. The General, however, thought little of Bruce as a human, but as his ticket to give the United States military an advantage in world power and respect. Bruce gained the assistance of Igor Sklar, who disliked Bruce and became rather ambitious to gain Ross’ approval. When Bruce completed the gamma bomb, Ross wanted to see a test in its application. During the countdown, teenager Rick Jones decided to impress his friends but sneaking into the military compound and unknowingly entered the test area. Bruce saw Rick and rushed to his rescue, instructing Igor to hold the countdown. Igor saw his opportunity and did not follow Bruce’s orders. Bruce was able to push Rick into a trench, but took the full brunt of the gamma explosion. Because Bruce had a genetic mutation, he was able to survive the gamma radiation, a fact that none but Brian Banner knew. However, the gamma radiation saturated Bruce, and triggered a transformation, becoming the monster Brian predicted. Bruce’s transformation was somewhat temporary. Bruce would be a dominant personality, but in times of stress, fear, or anger, this transformation turned Bruce into a creature who would come to be called “Hulk.”

            Over the years, the Hulk caused a lot of destruction, both in property and living creatures. Ross would go on to issue a manhunt against the Hulk. Banner grew to fear the Hulk, seeing him as a curse. Bruce always wished to be free of the Hulk, but never succeeded. Then, the demon called Nightmare struck. Hulk went up against Nightmare, who offered separation. Bruce took the demon up on the deal, but instead, Nightmare purged the Bruce Banner persona entirely, eliminating Bruce and turning the Hulk savage. Savage Hulk became a true menace, and a danger to the world. Feeling that there was no other choice, Doctor Stephen Strange used a spell to banish Hulk from the mainstream reality into an interdimensional place called the Crossroads. This gave Hulk access to many other worlds, except for the one he was born in, giving him free range to travel to a place where the Hulk could not harm other people and could not be harmed by other people. Doctor Strange enacted the fail-safe spell. If Hulk came to a world that scared or dissatisfied Hulk, he would be returned to the Crossroads to try again to find a new world to visit. In the Crossroads, Hulk encountered the Puffball Collective, a being exiled to the Crossroads, but unlike Bruce, the Puffball Collective was unable to leave the Crossroads. The Puffball Collective did all it could to befriend the Hulk, but Hulk was unable to return the desire for friendship being totally savage and uncomprehensive. The Puffball Collective tried to restore a sense of self into the Hulk, trying to bring back memories and changing form to try to please the Hulk and create a friendship, with the ulterior motive of finding some way to escape the Crossroads, but each attempt ended in failure.

            Hulk traveled to many worlds, never finding satisfaction. He found himself embroiled in all kinds of situations, siding with and against other beings. The super villain team the U-Foes, comprised of Ironclad, Vector, X-Ray and Vapor, were unexpectedly sent to the Crossroads. Hulk had had several battles with the U-Foes in his original reality, and attempted revenge against the Hulk.

Hulk, meanwhile was learning to comprehend basic instincts, particularly friendship, but his friendships always failed to last.

Hulk teamed up with a space pirate team against the energy devouring Klaatu and joined the crew aboard the Andromeda.

Hulk was soon joined by the Triad, the creatures Goblin, Guardian and Glow, the beings from Bruce’s childhood personified. From then on, they attempt to restore the Bruce Banner persona and to get Bruce back to his home world.

 

I have to say, I found read this book to be a relatively enjoyable experience. I found the story to be mostly interesting. It has coherent and cohesive and consistent. I feel this is mostly due to the fact that this book only had one author, which doesn’t happen very often in Marvel Epic Collections. I have read other works by Bill Mantlo before, and his work usually satisfied me. I will say, however, that this book felt a little too drawn out. I felt like some stories were longer than needed, and some stories should have been given more time to develop. Savage Hulk at times felt dissatisfying, as there was little character development, and as the character was unintelligent, to me it rubbed off a little bit much in the story. The complexity of the Jekyll and Hyde theme and the Bruce Banner and Hulk dual personas not coexisting made Hulk feel two-dimensional to me. There have been times where Hulk and Bruce had been merged, and to me that held up pretty well, but Savage Hulk didn’t feel complex enough to me. Also, the lack of superhero/super villain conflict, replaced by minor opposition felt a little flat to me. All that said, I was still able to enjoy reading it. Also, lest we forget, this was a graphic novel, and the artwork is just as important as the story. An amazing story in a graphic novel can be ruined by shoddy artwork, but stellar artwork doesn’t hold up as well if the story is just not compelling. We have to remember that comic book art has changed style over the decades. Each time period seems to have relative standards. I must acknowledge that the issues contained in this collection ranged from the years of 1984-1985. I have to say that while I felt this was top quality artwork at the time, I don’t feel it holds top quality anymore. I particularly disliked Hulk’s facial expressions. I know he was supposed to be unintelligent, but to me it just seemed to be taken too far. I’m not saying I thought the artwork was bad, it just didn’t consistently appeal to me. Also, consider that the issues contained in this collection were released before I was born and I didn’t become a regular comic book reader until 2001, so my likings of art styles are somewhat tainted. That’s not to say I don’t like retro comic book art, but this book didn’t stand out to me.

But all said and done, I was still able to read and enjoy it, despite all of my perceived flaws. I know I’m expected to give this book a numeric score, so I’ll do that. When I score a prose novel, graphic novel, or comic book event, I work on a scale of one-to-ten. One means I felt like this book was terrible, ten means that I felt like this book was outstandingly incredible, I score it at a seven. I think if he story and art could have been tinkered with a little by today’s standards, I could possibly have given this a nine. As it was, I felt like this was a good effort at an incredible Hulk story, but it just wasn’t incredible enough for a higher score.

Now, some of you might be intrigued by this book just by reading this review. But, it should be taken into consideration that I’ve been reading Marvel comics for twenty-one years, so my knowledge might not align with yours. But, I think if you’re a fan of the Marvel Cinematic Universe but have never read a Marvel comic book before and are looking for a place to start, and you really like the Hulk, I feel like this might be a good jump on point for you. To me, it seemed very self-contained and the narrative was consistent and linear, all just one continuous story progressing with each issue. Like I said, the issues in this book were released before I was born, and my Hulk knowledge doesn’t go back that far, so this was new territory for me. I also liked the issue where Bruce Banner’s origin was discussed as it was a story I didn’t know of prior to reading this book, so that was worth it right there. If you’re a long-term Marvel comics reader and haven’t read this book but like the Hulk, I’d say this might be worth a read for you. (It should be noted that everything in this post is my own personal opinion and I will not outright expect you to agree with me, and even welcome disagreement, and if you want to discuss this with me, I invite you to contact me by commenting on this blog page or on Twitter. I’m not giving you my personal e-mail however, so reach out to me on social media.)

So now I’m going to wrap this post up. I usually post on a frequent basis, I’ve had to take some time off because of an injury, but keep checking back, see what else I post. While one of the primary focuses on this blog are book reviews, I also write short stories (I’m going to write one in a few days and will post it when I’m satisfied with how it turns out), I write editorials such as my continuing complain series B’ings (which I’m in the process of writing one now), I write poetry, and I write essays, and other kinds of content, so if you read this post and like it, I’ve done over one-hundred posts, so I think you might find something else you might like, so feel free to keep browsing this page and come back for more. And so, until next time, Tim Cubbin… out!