B'ings: Misleading Sales

 

            Tim Cubbin, here, ready for another B’ing! Don’t know what a B’ing is because you’ve never read one before? Take B, then add four letters, then add ing! If you still don’t get it, there’s little hope you’ll fully appreciate what I’m doing here, but, oh, well, let’s get started anyway and you may figure it out as you read this.

            Today, I’m going to talk about sales. You know, as in, sales at stores? Okay, let’s start with Fourth of July sales at car dealerships. I’m using this example because in the United States of America it was just Independence Day. Another thing to point out; I hate when people say “Fourth of July.” It just doesn’t sound like anything special. Like, say, “Eighteenth of February.” Same idea, but does it sound special? No. And it’s only a holiday in the United States, so it means nothing in any other country. Call it “Independence Day,” it sounds so much better. Okay, I go off topic, but I just had to go there. Back to Fourth of July sales at car dealerships. They run, from, like, June thirteenth to July seventeenth (this is a rough estimation, so really, don’t quote me on it). Now, they call it a “Fourth of July” sale. It’s a day. ONE day. You say “Fourth of July?” But you run it for a whole bloody month. “Fourth of July.” I would think the sale SHOULD be ONE day! So misleading. Plus, doing it one day, you would have, like, HUNDREDS of people coming in because it’s a one day sale and the urgency is very increased. I dunno of you feel the same, but you’re entitled to your opinion as I am entitled to mine.

            Let’s go to another type of sale. I think it’s Kohl’s who have a one day sale, but it might be that, but there are several stores who do that. Now, you watch the commercials on the telly that say “Our one day sale Saturday, with a preview day Friday” for a random example. It’s like, okay, we have a one day sale on Saturday and a preview day Friday. WAIT! That means the ONE day sale is TWO days! Then by definition, it’s a TWO day sale if it runs over TWO days! CALL IT WHAT IT IS! TWO DAY SALE! C’mon people!

            Or take Shop Rite’s Can Can Sale. The song is about “Everything thing in Can Cans!” But you go to the frozen foods aisle (I dunno, that’s a totally random example, don’t quote me on this) and there’s a sale on frozen peas. Frozen peas are NOT in a can! “Can Can?” NOPE! Or go to the alcohol aisle and see a six-pack of Budweiser cans. But there’s no sale on it. Hey, that’s in a can! But “EVERYTHING in can cans?” It’s in a CAN, but it’s NOT on SALE? What is the deal with that?

            Well, if you’re here now, thanks for reading this whole thing through, you like me, you really like me (I know, corny). I hope I gave you some food for thought (that didn’t come in a can) and you see my point and understand it, but if you’re here and don’t agree with my thoughts, you’re entitled to your opinion, I’m entitled to my opinion. I have plenty more concepts planned, including more B’ings and book reviews, so please, come back to “From the Mind of One Tim Cubbin,” I’m Tim Cubbin, so… out!