"The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask/A Link to the Past- Legendary Edition" by Akira Himekawa

               This is a review of the Manga “The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask/A Link to the Past- Legendary Edition” by Akira Himekawa and not a review of “The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask” and “The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past” video games.

            In “Majora’s Mask” there is what appears to be a man (but it’s possibly he may be either a demon or god) called the Happy Mask Salesman, who travels around selling masks. He possesses a mask named Majora’s Mask that is considered to be a “Demon Mask” that will grant the wearer’s wishes, one he will absolutely refuse to sell, and yet dangerously (and stupidly) carries with him. A creature called Skull Kid wants a special mask and fancies Majora’s Mask. The Happy Mask Salesman, true to form, will not part with it. Skull Kid, in a rage, attacks the Happy Mask Salesman and then steals Majora’s Mask and immediately puts it on and becomes possessed by the mask.

            Meanwhile, a boy named Link is missing his best friend, a fairy named Navi who inexplicably has gone missing, and so Link starts a quest to find her. Link is traveling with his horse Epona. His search takes him to a dark forest, and leads him to the Skull Kid. A Skull Kid is, by nature, a mischievous creature who loves to play tricks. Skull Kid is traveling with the two sister and brother fairies Tatl and Tael (yeah, a lame pun). Link possesses a magical item called the Ocarina of Time which (obviously) can effect time. Link also carries a sword and shield. These items are items Link has obtained over the course of his adventures. Skull Kid gets angry at Link and plays a trick on Link, transforming him into another creature called a Deku Scrub, which robs him of his sword and shield. On top of that, Skull Kid also steals the Ocarina of Time and rides off with Epona.

            Link finds he is no longer in his home world of Hyrule, but now in a world called Termina. There are people which look exactly like people Link has met in his adventures in Hyrule and yet are not, which suggests Termina is an alternate reality world of Hyrule. Link, now being a Deku Scrub, is not taken seriously by anyone. On top of that, the moon has a face, which is very furious-looking, and also is very low down in the sky, which, this being a new world, throws Link off a bit. He also realizes Tatl has been left behind, and now wishes to reunite with her brother, so joins Link on his travels.

            Link’s first stop in Termina is Clock Town, obviously named due to its central clock. The folks are preparing for the Festival of Time, obviously not put off by the moon. Link arrives at the Central Clock to confront Skull Kid. Link sees the moon about to impact with Clock Town. He is able to reobtain the Ocarina of Time. Tael goes into a trance and says “Bring four people… one each from the swamp, mountain, sea and valley.” Link is able to hold off Skull Kid and reobtain the Ocarina of Time, just as the moon impacts into Clock Town. He then plays the Ocarina of Time, and time goes backwards, and he is again in the Central Clock, still with Tatl, and now no longer a Deku Scrub. He is now Hylian again, but is left with the Deku Mask. He now is also three days in the past. The Happy Mask Salesman is there, and tells Link the threat of Majora’s Mask. Link then leaves Clock Town to travel to the swamp and seek out the “person.” He goes on his journey to find these “people,” defeat Skull Kid, save Termina from certain destruction, and find a way to return to Hyrule to continue his quest to find Navi.

            Then, in “A Link to the Past,” a boy named Link lives with his Uncle. Link’s parents were Hylian heroes and mysteriously disappeared. Link is raised as an apple farmer. Link receives a telepathic message from Princess Zelda one night. She is being imprisoned by the evil wizard Agahnim and being prepared for a sacrifice. She is the descendant of one of the Seven Sages, who long ago sealed the evil Ganondorf in the Dark World. To free Ganondorf, Agahnim must sacrifice all descendants of the Seven Sages. Link is forced to watch Agahnim slay his Uncle. Link is able to temporarily free Princess Zelda, who tells Link the Legend of the Triforce. This was a relic that was left behind by the Goddesses of Wisdom, Power, and Courage. The Triforce will grant the first wish of any person who touches it. There is another relic called the Master Sword which is able to destroy evil, namely Agahnim. Zelda gives Link the Pendant of Courage and tell him he must obtain the Pendant of Wisdom and the Pendant of Power, which will lead him to the Master Sword and give Link the tool he needs to defeat Agahnim. Upon the completion of the Legend, Zelda (like any good princess) is caught by Agahnim and sent to the Dark World. Obviously, Link sets off the find the Pendant of Wisdom of Power, the Pendant of Power, and the Master Sword, defeat Agahnim and Ganondorf, who is now in the Dark World called Ganon.

            Along on the quest, Link meets Ghanti, a bandit with a grudge against Link’s ancestors and a desire to obtain the Triforce. She is not shy about her convictions, but agrees to travel with Link to aid him on his quest.

            Obviously to go any further will spoil the stories, so now I’ll give you my thoughts of the Manga. First off, these stories should not have been combined. They are in completely different realities and have nothing to do with each other. “Majora’s Mask” is actually a direct continuation of “The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time,” so for accessibility, if you wish to read “Majora’s Mask” I would highly recommend reading the “Ocarina of Time” Manga first, but if you don’t want to read “Ocarina of Time” you should be able to pick up on “Majora’s Mask” with slight difficulty. If you are interested, I have also written a review of “The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time- Legendary Edition” on this blog, so feel free to check that out as well.

            I must give a warning. While a Manga is a Japanese comic book, readers of other comic books must be informed the book is read from right to left. What most people would consider to be the back cover, to a Manga it’s actually the front cover, and the panels are read from the right side page from back of the page to the front. And Manga’s are traditionally black and white. If you’re used to comic books and never read a Manga before, it will take some practice to read properly. I had to work on it being a huge Marvel comics fan.

“Majora’s Mask” was originally a video game as well, and the Manga was, in my opinion, an insult to the game. I played the game when I was in middle school and loved it. This just does not live up to its namesake. The whole point of the video game was to continuously relive the three days until all four of the “People” were able to be found, as well as to collect masks from all different people and learn their stories along the way, then play the Ocarina of Time before impact to reset the three days. In the Manga, Link played the Ocarina of Time once and amassed masks only from the indigenous peoples of Termina. The whole fun of the game was to collect the masks and in the ending cut scenes you saw a clip of all the people you obtain their masks from and see their stories of what they did at the Festival of Time after Link’s success. This was such a letdown as the Manga involved very few of the people Link helps along the way. The Manga also felt very rushed. I feel that a longer Manga would have been a better way to tell the story. So you’re probably wondering how I would rate this. I always go on a scale of one to ten, one being a Godawful piece of trash that should never have been written, ten being so oh my God awesome that I’ll talk about it incessantly for six months to anyone I see even complete strangers on the street, I rate it at a three.

Moving off to “A Link to the Past.” Okay, I also played this game in elementary school and absolutely loved it. In fact, Game Informer Magazine gave a list of the three-hundred best video games at the time of publication and was named number one. The game was amazing, and my friends in elementary school and I had many conversations about the game. This Manga was, again, not the game. It was, in my opinion, complete trash. This story also felt rushed. Ghanti was a character made up just for the Manga. In fact, a lot of characters in the Manga were not in the game. The fill-in points of the story to give a narrative in-between the points of the game with no dialogue was just awful. Too much of a new Manga narrative mutilated the narrative of the game. My score on this is a two. Let’s quickly go to my accessibility rating. All that said, you don’t need to know anything about “The Legend of Zelda” to follow this Manga, but if you played the game and loved it, I strongly suggest you do not read this Manga.

So, on the book as a totality; it was a total fail. To combine the stories into one rating, this book gets a two. My regular readers know I’m very fair at reviews and very receptive to stories and very easy to please. So if I rate something as low as this, you know it must be godawful. In other words, I suggest you don’t read this. Keep away! But if you still do read this Manga and liked it, you totally need to get in touch with me so we can get a discussion going because I really want to know what you thought was good about it.

And that’s all for now. Expect plenty more reviews in the near future, so hopefully you keep reading my blog and feel free to share my blog site with your friends as I’m always hoping for new readers, and if you want, please comment. Until next time, Tim Cubbin… out!

"The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time- Legendary Edition" by Akira Himekawa

 

            This is a review of the Manga “The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time- Legendary Edition” by Akira Himekawa and not a review of “The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time” video game.

            As the story begins, we find young Link, a boy living in the Kokiri Forest. The Kokiri are all children who don’t grow up any farther after they reach a certain age. This age is never disclosed in the whole Manga. So there are no adults. Every Kokiri has a fairy partner, except for Link. The Kokiri Forest is under the protection of the Great Deku Tree, who is called their father. The Kokiri are basically unaware of the world outside of the Kokiri Forest as they are told that the Kokiri would die if the left the safety of the Kokiri Forest. Link has a best friend named Saria. He often butts heads with the “boss” of the Kokiri, Mido, who is jealous of the attention Saria gives Link.

            A drama has to start somewhere, so one day, a parasite named Gohma takes residence in the Great Deku Tree. This basically gives him a death sentence. Link is given Navi as a fairy partner as Link and Mido enter into the Great Deku tree to slay Gohma. Link and Mido are successful, but it is too late and the damage is done. As the Great Deku Tree dies, he imparts with Link the Kokiri Emerald and tells Link that he is not really a Kokiri but a Hylian. The outside world is called Hyrule, and Link’s mother escaped and died in the Kokiri Forest. The Great Deku Tree tells Link that he must defeat the Gerudo pirate named Ganondorf who plans to use the Triforce to enslave Hyrule. The Triforce is a symbol left by the goddesses who created Hyrule and the person who touches the Triforce will have the world mold to their own image. If a good and just person touches the Triforce, the world will be good. If an evil person, however, touches the Triforce, Hyrule will turn into a living hell. The Great Deku Tree tells Link he must find a princess in Hyrule who will guide him on his path. With that, Link begins his adventure.

            Upon arriving at Hyrule Castle Town, he meets Zelda. The two feel they must enter the Sacred Realm to obtain the Triforce. To open the door to enter the Sacred Realm, they will need the Goron’s Ruby, the Zora’s Sapphire, and the Ocarina of Time.

            Link continues his journey and obtains the needed items to open the Sacred Realm. As Link returns to Hyrule Castle Town, he finds Ganondorf has taken over and destroyed it. Link sees Zelda and her protector Impa escape on horseback and tosses Link the sacred Ocarina of Time. Link enters the Temple of Time, the doorway to the Sacred Realm and plays the Ocarina of Time to enter. Link sees the legendary Master Sword and picks it up. He becomes the Hero of Time. However, he is too young to wield the Master Sword and is put in stasis for seven years until he reaches a proper age. Unfortunately, Ganondorf has obtained the Triforce and made Hyrule a living hell.

            Link’s new mission as Hero of Time is to awaken the Five Sages and seal away Ganondorf. Ganondorf has a servant named Sheik who is from the Sheikah Tribe. But he does not faithfully serve him and provides aid to Link on his journey.

            Now I will give my opinion on the Manga. I felt it was well written and drawn. The story was engaging to me, I read the whole book in one sitting, I just couldn’t put it down. On a scale of one to ten, one being the lowest, ten being the highest, I give the book an eight. I played the video game years ago, and there were important parts left out and also parts added that made the story a little cheesy. Link also only ages once in the Manga, while in the game Link does travel back and forth at some time where it is essential for Link to complete tasks while he is a child to reshape the past by the seven years as he places the Master Sword back in its pedestal. The dungeon locations of the Sages were also greatly shortened to prevent the story from taking unnecessarily lengthen the story into multiple volumes, which could have benefitted the story, yet the writers decided to contain it in one volume. My regular readers know I give an accessibility rating. This story requires no background knowledge of the video game series, pretty much anyone can pick up the story, except I must give a warning. While a Manga is a Japanese comic book, readers of other comic books must be informed the book is read from right to left. What most people would consider to be the back cover, to a Manga it’s actually the front cover, and the panels are read from the right side page from back of the page to the front. And Manga’s are traditionally black and white. If you’re used to comic books and never read a Manga before, it will take some practice to read properly. I had to work on it being a huge Marvel comics fan. All-in-all, I felt it was a good read, and if you are a fan of the video game and the series, you will likely enjoy the Manga, but again, die-hards may find several complaints like the ones I gave. It totally did not ruin my childhood impression of the game. Maybe consider giving it a try!

B'ings: Bounty Paper Towel Commercials

 

            Hey, everyone! You’re reading From the Mind of One Tim Cubbin, and I am Tim Cubbin. Of course this is a B’ing of mine. If you don’t know what a “B’ing” is, it’s a semi-polite way of saying a complaint. Yeah, it’s that word.

            Anyway, if you’re reading this, you’re interested in seeing what my complaint of the Bounty paper towel commercials. If you’re not, I don’t know why you’re here, but please stay anyway. Okay, so let’s get to the main point. In the Bounty commercials, there’s a scenario involving a few people. Somehow, someone is doing something and someone else knocks a drink over that threatens a device that is susceptible to this liquid. Then as the drink comes closer to the item, the focus goes into slowmo and the people scream “No!” in a dragged out cry. Then the paper towel appears out of nowhere and the device is saved from certain destruction.

            Alright, I’ll break them down for those who haven’t seen these commercials. The relationships between the characters is never confirmed, so for every time I mention the connections to the characters, I’ll use the word “potential.”

            A girl is on her laptop. Her potential sister is playing a game dressed up as a pirate. Her potential father is holding a drink. The potential sister has some toy sword and thrusts it at the potential father’s backside, causing the potential father to lose control of his glass of drink. The drink flies out of his hand and slides across the table towards the girl’s laptop. The girl screams “No!” to which the father echoes her cry. Suddenly, a paper towel appears and absorbs the liquid before it destroys the laptop. Then the potential father and potential sister go about playing pirate, which the girl seems to enjoy. Okay, now my complaint. As the drink slides across the table towards the laptop, the girl recoils. Simple solution: grab the laptop and pull it off the table, and the laptop is saved. And where did the paper towel that magically saves the laptop come from? Okay, that last line comes up to every description, so I’ll try to make this the only time I use this sentence.

            Next example. A little boy is playing with knockoff Legos (because Bounty did not get the permission to use actual Legos). The potential father has made a green drink (which most likely is a veggie or fruit drink which is healthy for you, which I would never drink myself because if a drink is green and thick, I really do not even want to look at, but that’s just in my mind) for the potential mother. The potential mother is wearing a white suit. The potential father starts to bring the drink to the potential mother, but steps on a knockoff Lego and loses control of the glass. The green liquid then slides across the counter towards the potential mother which will definitely make that suit go to the dry cleaners and need to dress in a new suit. The potential mother screams out “No!” the potential father screams out “No!” and the son screams out “No!” Then, boom, paper towel saves the day. Then the boy continues to play with the knockoff Legos and the potential father looks down to make sure he doesn’t step on another knockoff Lego. Simple solution: back away from the counter, so the drink slides on, with the now new potential of spilling to the floor, to which hopefully doesn’t have a carpet on it, but if it does, that’s an all-new problem, but for the moment, the white suit is saves and we don’t know what is on the floor.

            Next example, a potential family is eating a Chinese food dinner, with chopsticks (which I can’t use, to my embarrassment). The potential father asks the boy “You got it? It’s slippery” as the boy picks up a dumpling. The dumpling then slips off the boy’s chopsticks, falls to the table, flips a bowl of sauce, and slides off the table. The boy calls out “No!” the potential grandmother screams “No!” the potential father calls out “No!” and the dumpling drops off the table and we hear “Yes!” and realize it’s a dog who catches the dumpling and eats it in one bite (if the dog’s lucky, it took several takes and the dog got several dumplings). The paper towel appears and cleans up the mess, but hey, the damage is done. Then we see the boy with another dumpling and he says “Hey, look, I got it!” which seems to amuse the potential family. Okay, well, there is no simple solution, and sometimes the channel abbreviates the commercial and we don’t see the dog (which, sorry, ruins the commercial as the joke is no longer there).

            Okay, I’ve been going on for quite a while, hope you’re still with me. Well, you can go now, I’m done. I just sign off as Tim Cubbin… out!

B'ings: Peter Parker/Spider-Man

 

            Hey, all, welcome to another B’ing. My name is Tim Cubbin, obviously, or this blog would make no sense being called “From the Mind of One Tim Cubbin.” Okay, maybe there is a way, like I’m WRITING about One Tim Cubbin and I’m not Tim Cubbin myself, but yes, I am One Tim Cubbin.

            Anyway, for those of you who don’t know what a B’ing is and you’re just reading this because this is about Peter Parker/Spider-Man, this is, essentially, my complaint department. Oh, you think you get “B’ing” now. If not, well, it’s okay, just keep reading, anyway.

            Okay, now, I am a HUGE Spider-Man fan, have loved him since I was five years old. Every Saturday morning, my dad and I would get up and watch his cartoon. That said, I’m not telling you WHICH Spider-Man cartoon as I don’t wish to give away my age in B’ings, and there have been, like, ten Spider-Man cartoons or so, but use your imagination, I am be old or REALLY old, your guess. Anyone who knows me personally (and I know some of you do) knows that I am a MAJOR Marvel fan. I read LITERALLY every current comic series and always go to the movies opening day and watch the shows the first day they air. But there’s always been something that bothers me about Spidey: how does no one know his secret identity? And I mean the comics, NOT “Far From Home” (kind of a spoiler there). Work with me here. Now, if anyone has read “The Amazing Spider-Man” from 1963 issue #2 (again, am I old or REALLY old) may recall that when Peter sold his first Spidey photos to J. Jonah Jameson he made the deal that Jameson must never ask HOW Peter got such good photos of Spider-Man. Um, right there, that’s kind of a red flag. I mean, he got close up pictures of the Vulture. In 1963, they didn’t have the awesome photo capabilities we enjoy today. He’d LITERALLY have to be in the Vulture’s face to get that shot, and the Vulture CLEARLY did NOT notice a photographer in his face. Oh, and that leads to ANOTHER stupid observation. HOW THE HECK DOES PETER GET THESE SHOTS? I mean, yeah there was a timer mechanism, but HOW did he get the camera to FOLLOW the action? Riddle me that. Okay, though, that is not the point I meant to focus on, though. The point I’m here to make today is how he hid his secret identity, so let’s get back to that. Let’s go back to “Amazing Fantasy” #15 (the first appearance of Spider-Man). Peter is described to be a scrawny bookworm. Then, all of a sudden, he has muscles? HOW did this happen? How do you explain THAT? Steroids? Sure as heck NOT! A gym? When would he have the time? Okay, now we get to the biggest and most obvious observation which any Spidey consumer knows. Peter Parker and Spider-Man very rarely show up at the same time! (I say rarely because there have been many instances that they’re both there at the same time, but that’s because of an imposter, a robot, or a clone). And when Peter goes to be Spider-Man, he always has a lame excuse that he suddenly remembered a dentist’s appointment, something he forgot he had to get or a place he had to go to, or he needed to do something for Aunt May. These lame excuses should be OBVIOUS for anyone with a brain to put together (even Flash Thompson should be able to figure THAT out). And there have been many instances where Peter has been publicly unmasked, and his excuse is he was going to a party or some other lame reason he had to wear the costume (usually the explanation to the consumer is Peter was sick or not at full strength and that’s why this happened). And, come on, Aunt May isn’t stupid, she’s just old. She should KNOW Peter was sneaking out of her place like that. Although, I have to say, in the movies “The Amazing Spider-Man” and “The Amazing Spider-Man 2” I always had the suspicion that Sally Field’s Aunt May portrayal knew Peter was Spider-Man and didn’t say anything. But again, I’m talking about the main comics here. And yes, in 2001, Aunt May did discover he was Spider-Man, but she should have known WAY before then. And in “Civil War” in 2006 he unmasked to the world on camera, but made a deal to make everyone forget he was Spider-Man, which I always thought was REALLY LAME! There are many instances and circumstances where his secret identity should be just plain obvious. But again, I am a HUGE, lifelong Spidey fan, but this has ALWAYS bothered me (and I was a five year old when I first became a fan, and this bothered A FIVE YEAR OLD?).

            And with that, I’m wrapping up this edition of B’ings! Hope you enjoyed my complaints and seriously consider this (even though this is kind of a joke), and keep checking out for more B’ings. Until next time, Tim Cubbin… out!

B'ings: Eggland's Best

 

            Hey, all, and welcome to B’ings, also known as Tim Cubbin’s complaint department.

Today, I will be talking about, if you can read the title, Eggland’s Best. If you work for Eggland’s Best in any way, please stop reading this as you are about to get busted.

Who has seen a commercial for Eggland’s Best? In it, they claim “Better taste, better nutrition, better eggs.” Whoa, whoa, whoa, let’s think about this. How can you make this claim? How can you PROVE your eggs are the best tasting eggs out there? And “better nutrition”? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO YOUR EGGS? If you make this claim, you are DEFINITELY doing something unnatural to your eggs! Or do you have a magic chicken that you KNOW makes the best tasting eggs? Because I doubt it! For as long as they’ve had these commercials, those magic chickens would DEFINITELY be dead by now. What, do the chickens have an ancestral trait to lay the best eggs? Again, I doubt it! Especially since you claim better nutrition. This is not a natural genetic trait. In other words, they do something to these eggs. To make this claim, something’s up here. This claim could even be false. How can you make a guarantee to this?

Okay, now I will tell you I’ve had Eggland’s Best eggs. And what do I have to say? THEY’RE EGGS! I don’t notice anything different about their eggs than any other brand of eggs. Look, I’m not an egg connoisseur, I don’t line up eggs and do taste tests. If you’re doing something to these eggs (which you probably ARE), I haven’t really noticed a difference. I have no way to confirm or deny your claim. Maybe you should ease up on this?

That’ll do it for now. Be prepared for more B’ings soon! Until then, Tim Cubbin… OUT!