"Sinister War"

Welcome to From the Mind of One Tim Cubbin. I am, surprisingly enough, Tim Cubbin.

The following is a review of the Marvel Comics event “Sinister War” as presented on Marvel Unlimited. THIS HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH “Spider-Man: No Way Home,” which, at the time of my typing this, December 13, 2021, the world is getting ready for its release on December 17, 2021, and is just about a comic storyline that was released several months ago but just now available on Marvel Unlimited and am typing this the day the whole event was completely available, so if you think I’m going to be saying ANYTHING about “No Way Home,” you are not on the blog post you were expecting, but please, stay anyway because… well, just stay.

So, for some of you who have never read my reviews before, first I do the whole boring “blah, blah, blah” introduction that I have to say so you know what you’re getting into. After that, I briefly introduce the major characters. Then I give a synopsis of the story, followed by my own personal thoughts on the story. Then I talk about accessibility, which will suggest if you “No Way Home” preparers should actually read this story. Then I’ll give a numeric score of the story, which I will explain when we get there. Then I’ll say if I actually recommend reading this, and to who I think this is best suited for. Following that, I write the conclusion statement and bore most of you who no longer care what I have to say and click out immediately after I score it and move on to whatever you want to do after I blather these words which you probably won’t read anyway, but I know that some people stay with me, and if you do, you are THE BEST! (Particularly “No Way Home” excited preparers). Then I shut up and then say the three words I always sign off with (some of you may already know them, and if you do you are totally THE BEST! I love my regular readers and appreciate the support!), and let you do whatever you want to do on the internet now, Facebook, Instagram, Tik Tok, check your email, order last minute Christmas gifts, look at something inappropriate, watch something on YouTube, play video games, I honestly don’t care at the conclusion of my typing, posting, and promoting this because I am done with this and will be sure to write more content soon (I’m working on a book that will be reviewed in three or four days) and then I’ll try to get my thoughts together because this is ALL over the place, and… well, let’s just move on because I am most likely boring you and typing this to people who no longer wish to read my rant, so…

Yeah, let’s talk about Peter Parker/the Amazing Spider-Man. Peter was in high school when he went to a demonstration on radiology. A spider got in front of the rays and became radioactive. It then bit Peter Parker and Cindy Moon as it died (and Silk has nothing to do with this, so if you don’t know her it really doesn’t matter because she was not in this and therefore I won’t talk about her). Peter then discovered he had the proportional strength and agility of a spider, adhesive fingertips and toes, and a precognitive danger warning (“Spider-Sense”). He created web shooters. Then he went into showbiz, which didn’t work out, but he soon took his Uncle Ben’s words “with great power, there must also come great responsibility” to heart after Peter could have prevented Ben Parker’s death and started fighting bad guys, and the rest is history.

Next is Mary Jane Watson. MJ is Peter Parker’s girlfriend (and Peter is getting ready to propose to MJ) and actress. Her movie is premiering, and she and Peter are in attendance. This movie is essentially a biopic about Spidey’s longtime villain Quentin Beck/Mysterio, and was directed by… (wait for it)… Mysterio in the disguise of Cage McKnight. MJ actually knew this, but still stayed with him through the filming (and has apparently told Mysterio Peter’s identity as Spider-Man).

Quentin Beck/Mysterio was a stunt man who made cool tech but decided to use it to get what he wanted and became a super villain (and yes, this includes beating Spidey). So yeah, Beck was attending the premier with Peter and MJ.

Carlie Cooper is a forensic scientist and has been abducted. She has been locked up in a cell with Harry Osborn.

Harry Osborn is the son of one of Spidey’s worst enemies, Norman Osborn/the Green Goblin, and has been the Green Goblin himself.

Then we have the main villain, Harry Osborn/Kindred… wait! If Harry is in a cell with Carlie Cooper, then who is Kindred?

Then we have thirty-some-odd villains, all parts of teams that include Sinister in their team name or in groups of six, such as the Sinister Six, the Savage Six, the Sinister Syndicate, the Sinister Foes of Spider-Man, and a few others, let’s not get too far into that. Obviously, thirty-some-odd villains CANNOT all be named, and many are just there for action sequences which show Spidey fighting them and have no personal dialogue.

So, synopsis time. I’ve said a lot of the story already, so this is going to be repetitive and relatively short. Peter is at the premier with MJ, going to propose to her at the end of the movie. But we have “the Parker Luck” and the Sinister teams crash the premier of the movie.  They all want to kill Spider-Man because Kindred said that if their team doesn’t kill Spider-Man they will be… darned to a place that is traditionally referred to “down below” (I don’t use profanity on this blog, but you can now probably figure this out for yourself, and if you don’t know, look it up).

Okay, this is about all I can tell you about the story without spoilers. So now, my personal thoughts. I hate to say this, but… I was relatively disappointed by it. There were thirty-some-odd villains and six teams! Some villains are hard to recognize because they only get a few panels here and there showing them hitting Spider-Man or Spider-Man hitting them. And then keeping tabs on who was on what team was relatively difficult (possibly even impossible). Kindred’s true identity was a surprise. Kindred was not who the readers expected. After spending almost three years with the character, guessing Kindred’s identity, believing it was Harry Osborn for almost two years, it caught me off guard to who was actually under the mask. But the ending with Kindred felt anti-climactic to me (even including the words “To Be Continued”), and the end of the Sinister War just seemed lame.

Okay, now for accessibility. I think it is a great starting point for new readers. Let me clarify, though: I wouldn’t call the story great, but it’s relatively self-contained.

Well, let’s move on to my numeric score. The story totally did not adhere, thirty-some-odd villains are WAY too many, I felt the finales were weak, and to me it was just so disjointed (even more so than this review). BUT! I do have to say what saves this score from being so abysmal: the art. The art was AMAZING! Mark Bagley is one of my favorite comic book artists and his work on “Sinister War” totally did not disappoint me as I felt it fit in with the same panache that I’m used to with his work. Even the work on “The Amazing Spider-Man” seemed high quality to me. So, let me explain how the score works: I score on a scale of one to ten, one being so awful I feel like the three hours it took me to read it were a total waste of time, ten being this was an amazing read. BUT! There were two separate series with two separate stories, and I feel that I have to address that. So I’m going to score both stories individually and as a combination of the two. As I said, “Sinister War” was a hot mess, and I give it a harsh three. “The Amazing Spider-Man” was much better, so I actually am going to give it a five. So, by law of average, as a whole, I’d score it at a four.

As for recommendation, well, if you see “No Way Home” and it doesn’t meet your high expectations and want to make you feel a redemption for Spidey, maybe this will actually be good for you. Some of the villains are great, and include the Green Goblin, the Lizard, Sandman, Electro, and Doctor Octopus (all in “No Way Home!”) and were treated by the writer with great respect and effect, and have the desired “Sinister Six” you might have expected from “No Way Home” and might not get (I don’t know how the movie is, so I can’t predict if you’ll like it or not, I’m just saying), and in fact, about six groups, so if you have a favorite Spidey villain (aside from Venom and Carnage), they might even be in this book. So, while I didn’t personally love it, you might actually consider reading it. I mean, I didn’t think it was horrible, so any Spidey fans wanting to read any Spidey comics but never had could pick this book up as a paperback if it sounds interesting by my description, I say, “Go for it.” Decide how you feel yourself. Look, I can’t tell you if this is a good book or not, I’m not every human being on the planet, I’m just one Tim Cubbin, so I honestly can’t speak for everyone on that. You decide yourself. I can’t tell YOU how to think, you think for yourself. So if you read it, please send me comments or Tweets telling me what you think of “Sinister War,” I totally want to know. However… DO NOT BRING “No Way Home” INTO THIS! I insist. This is NOT a post about “No Way Home,” I honestly don’t care how you feel about it, this is JUST “Sinister War.” Also, no one has ever left a comment before, and if you are actually the first, you are THE BEST! Honestly, I mean it. So, if you liked it, Retweet, Emoji, Like, Comment and keep coming back to From the Mind of One Tim Cubbin. I post fairly often, I have a post lined up after this one in a few days (it is NOT about “No Way Home” by the way), I write reviews about most of the things I read, and I read A LOT, so you know I have plenty coming up. I also write short stories, poetry, essays, editorials, things journalists do (I am, in fact, a certified journalist, I just can’t get employment so I write these for free hoping someone will notice me) and more. If you are here, still reading, you are THE BEST! Hopefully I don’t leave you thinking this was a waste of time and sour you to future posts, so if you read more of my work, you are THE BEST! I’m going to leave you now, with three words. Tim Cubbin… out!