"Thor: The Siege of Asgard"

            The following is a review of the graphic novel “Thor: The Siege of Asgard” as presented in Marvel Modern Era Epic Collection format.

            Asgard had been relocated above Broxton, Oklahoma. For killing his grandfather Bor, Thor was exiled from Asgard and Balder was named king of Asgard. Thor’s hammer Mjolnir was damaged. Thor’s adopted brother Loki had secretly been plotting with the villainous Doctor Victor Von Doom. Doom offered the Asgardians a home in Latveria, the country he ruled, claiming it would be more suitable for the Asgardians. The Warriors Three Volstagg, Hogun and Fandral agreed to join Thor in exile from Asgard. Young Broxton local Bill was in a romantic relationship with Asgardian goddess Kelda and left for Latveria with her. Loki revealed to Thor that “her” new female form actually belonged to Thor’s lover, the Lady Sif, and that the actual Sif’s consciousness was trapped in a mortal’s form that was yet to be restored to her Asgardian self like the other Asgardians Thor had reawakened when he restored Asgard following Ragnarok. Doctor Jane Foster, Thor’s former love, discovered Sif was actually contained in Mrs. Chambers, one of her terminal cancer patients who was about to die, and if she died, Sif would be lost for eternity. To save Sif, Thor required a repaired Mjolnir, so he turned to his ally Doctor Stephen Strange, Sorcerer Supreme, Master of the Mystic Arts to perform the magic to fix his hammer. Strange warned Thor that while he could do this task, it would require depleting the Odinforce from Thor and that should Mjolnir ever be damaged again, Thor would die along with it. Thor agreed to this deal, and Doctor Strange was able to repair Mjolnir and Thor was able to restore Sif to her true body before Mrs. Chambers expired. Bill found himself bullied by the Asgardians in Latveria, who were unable to accept Kelda taking a mortal lover, but Kelda came to Bill’s defense.

            Egyptian god Seth learned of Thor’s exile from Asgard and saw this as the perfect opportunity to slay his foe and sent his agents, including Scarab, Gog, and Grog to do the job. Thor was hiding in a cabin in his mortal guise of Doctor Donald Blake. Grog attacked a highway, and Thor came to the rescue, saving a woman from being crushed, then quickly reverting to Don Blake. Blake then visited the woman in the hospital, but the facility was attacked by Grog, who wished to draw out Thor. Thor then had to find the strength to defeat Grog and Seth’s other agents.

            Sif decided to stay in Broxton with Thor under the cover of Sylvan, a “model from New York.” The Warriors Three took over the restaurant Bill vacated. Doctor Doom began performing experiments on Asgardians. Bill discovered this and paid the ultimate price for this discovery, but he did not go down alone, and he was avenged by Balder. Thor and his allies had to fight for their lives as Doom sent his Doombots to Broxton to slay them and collect their forms for his experiments. Kelda learned of Bill’s death and that Loki had responsibility in her lover’s demise and swore revenge against Loki.

            Doom’s plans involved taking parts from Asgardians in order to obtain immortality for himself. Loki attempted to lie his way out of responsibility in Bill’s death and was taken into custody to await trial. Doom used his experiments to battle the Asgardians until Thor arrived to fight Doctor Doom, who imperiled Kelda, then retreated. Loki revealed he could save her with Thor and Balder’s help, but Thor first had to battle Doom in his new Destroyer armor.

            Loki encouraged Commander of H.A.M.M.E.R. Norman Osborn to attack Asgard. He then contracted the Dísir, former All-Father Bor’s Valkyries who could only feed on the spirits of deceased gods and were believed to be a myth as deceased gods either went to Valhalla or Hel. Because of Ragnarok, Hel was inaccessible, and Hela, goddess of death, had no Hel to rule over. Loki made a contract with Hell-Lord Mephisto to give Hela a slice of his hell for one thousand and one years in exchange for the service of the Dísir for one hundred and one days. He also brokered a deal with Hela that when he died, he would not be bound to Hel.

            Volstagg was arrested for attacking a football stadium, a crime he didn’t directly commit. Asgardian seer Knut entered an Asgardian banquet, warning of the end of Asgard, but Heimdall did not perceive a threat, and Knut was not taken seriously. Loki then eliminated Knut and trapped Heimdall. Kelda visited Bill’s family to inform them of Bill’s demise. Volstagg released a video on the internet proclaiming his innocence. Norman Osborn arranged an attack upon Asgard. Volstagg was released from prison and was attacked by Thor’s evil cyborg clone calling himself “Ragnarok.” Tyr, God of war, led the Asgardian army against the forces of H.A.M.M.E.R. The organization also went to Bill’s family’s house to go after Kelda. The real Thor arrived at the ruins of Asgard to join the battle, despite the penalty of death placed upon the violation of his exile. Balder fought Loki and learned the truth about Loki’s part in Bor’s death. Following the siege, Thor’s exile was ended, but he refused to accept the role of King of Asgard again, leaving it to Balder and instead offering to serve on as an advisor. Kelda found the entry to Valhalla and saw Bill was there but could not get in herself. Ragnarok came to Asgard and Thor and Ragnarok had a fight.

            The New Mutants were staying at the Inferno Club in Las Vegas, Nevada, where Hela was holed up. Dani Moonstar, who had formerly been a Valkyrie, was contracted by Hela to usher in the dead from the siege of Asgard to her Hel. During her mission, she was attacked by the Dísir and teamed up with the not-so-dead Tyr to battle them.

            Mephisto made a deal with the Dísir: in exchange for favors, he would allow them access to a feast in Hela’s Hel. Hela contacted the Asgardians, who saw firsthand the threat the Dísir posed when their name is spoken. Thor and Tyr travelled to Mephisto’s Hell to combat them. Thor learned of the sword Eir-Gram, which would be able to defeat the Dísir, but the Dísir had already stolen it and placed a spell on it so that only the one whom it belonged to would be able to withdraw it. Thor learned that Mephisto was using Hell to torment the spirit of Gaia, Thor’s mother. Meanwhile, Kelda was planning to poison Balder, whom she blamed for Bill’s death. Thor and Tyr had to defeat the Dísir and end the conflict between Hela and Mephisto.

            Okay, so the synopsis is now covered, let’s get to my part of the review. First off, let me say, I really didn’t enjoy this book. Honestly, the stories just didn’t grab me. I found them to be relatively bland. First off, the Asgardians relocating to Latveria made no sense. They know this is Doctor Doom’s country. They know he’s a villain. They know he’s up to schemes. Why would they go there? Especially since Loki was orchestrating the whole thing. How could Balder possibly think he could trust Loki? And the whole thing of Thor’s exile was also kind of dumb to me because again, Balder was trusting Loki. And Loki getting Sif’s body so Sif couldn’t be restored with the other Asgardians also made no sense to me. There were a lot of things there that made no sense. “The Hand of Grog” was a subpar storyline in my opinion, I actually found it kind of boring. As far as Kelda goes, I actually found her to be a bit of an annoyance. I admit she furthered the storyline, but she just wasn’t a character I liked. “Latverian Prometheus” was another storyline I didn’t like. As far as “Siege” went, “Siege” was actually published during a time when I wasn’t a regular reader, and I never actually read the main event, and Modern Era Epic Collections don’t actually contain events if they are published about specific characters, and since this was “Thor” there were no issues of the main event in it, and I found myself rather confused by not knowing the full story of exactly what was going on in the story itself. The inclusion of “Hel’s Valkyrie” to me made no sense considering it was an issue of “New Mutants” and this book was “Thor” and Thor doesn’t even actually appear in that issue, so I honestly have no real idea as to why the editors thought it was important to include this specific issue in this Modern Era Epic Collection as it really did nothing to the rest of the book. And “The Fine Print” was a storyline that actually confused me a little bit, I didn’t fully understand what was going on in the story, and you can probably even tell that based specifically upon my explanation of the synopsis being a little weak. All around, I just found the stories in this book to be highly disappointing. And as far as the art went, most of the time, I was displeased. I just found the styles to be in general unappealing. This whole book was just not my cup of tea.

            Next, we’re going to talk about accessibility. Now, when I say this, what I mean is how easy it is to pick up and read this book, even if you know nothing about Thor or Marvel Comics. As I mentioned before, this book contains the Thor issues of “Siege” but doesn’t actually include any of the main event, which makes this book highly inaccessible. Plus, it picks up directly where the previous Volume of the series left off following on the knowledge of said Volume, so missing that is missing a substantial chunk of the story, too. I’ve been reading Marvel Comics on and off regularly for twenty-four years now, and I missed this storyline and I was lost reading this graphic novel, so imagine being a reader with no experience with Marvel at all just picking up this book and trying to read it, I just don’t think they’d be able to follow the story. This is not an entry level graphic novel. So, if you’re a fan of the MCU and want to start reading Marvel Comics because you love Thor that much, I’m telling you, this is not the right book to start with.

            Okay, let’s get to the main reason we’re all here, or at least what I think is the most essential part of a Tim Cubbin review: the numeric score. My scoring system is quite basic: one to ten. One is the lowest score, meaning that this book should be avoided at all cost, ten is the highest score and that this book should be in every comic book collector’s collection. So, you can obviously guess that this book is nowhere near earning a ten. Now, I had to think really hard about giving this book its score, and I honestly feel that it is… a one. I’ve very rarely given out a score of a one, but I feel like this book deserves it. It was just an all-around disappointment, and I just found it highly unenjoyable upon careful consideration. The stories were just so bland, and the art was subpar, I just can’t possibly give this book a good score. So yes, this book gets a rare one.

            Next up, we’re going to talk about if I recommend this book with my personal seal of approval, and regardless of that, to whom do I recommend this book. I think you can pretty much guess that I’m not going to give this book my recommendation. I honestly do not recommend this book at all. If you’re actually a die-hard Marvel fan and read “Siege” and want a companion book, I would say this might be an enjoyable book for you, but if you haven’t read “Siege,” I would tell you to avoid this book at all costs.

            Okay, I think at this point that I’ve gone on for quite long enough, you and I both want to get on with our days and do whatever else we need to do. But I do have a few parting notes first. Starting with this blog is updated on a very frequent basis. If you liked this review, there are dozens of other posts like this, including “Thor: Reborn from Ragnarok” if you want to check that one out for comparison purposes and get a little more background on this book. Most of this blog is reviews of Marvel graphic novels, and at the moment my project is buying and reading all the Marvel Modern Era Epic Collections released and when I read them, I will post a review. There are a few I haven’t reviewed yet because when I last read them, I didn’t have a laptop but hopefully I will be able to rectify that problem. As it stands, I have two more reviews lined up to be posted in a time than less than over the next four weeks or so, so you can keep an eye out for them. I was an English major with a concentration in journalism in college, which is why I do this blog for you, without pay, out of the kindness of my heart. I’ve also written short stories, poems, articles, essays, editorials, and other kinds of content for this blog, over one hundred and forty posts at this point, so if you liked this, keep browsing on timcubbin.blogspot.com, there is tons of other content available for you to enjoy. I’m going to sign off for now, but I’ll be back in less than two weeks with a new review, so keep checking. And so, I’ll just say until next time, Tim Cubbin… out!