"Spider-Verse"

 

The following is a review of the Marvel Comics Event “Spider-Verse” as presented on Marvel Unlimited. It is not a review of the film “Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse” nor a piece about the film “Spider-Man: No Way Home.”

Howdy, everybody, you have now clicked into From the Mind of One Tim Cubbin! This is Tim Cubbin reporting! I’m a certified journalist, yet due to my disability, I am unable to get a true, steady job, in the journalism field or any other career. But, I want to get my words out there, so I do this blog unpaid, out of the goodness of my heart, hoping someone like you will read my little posts, and if you are reading this, despite knowing I’m NOT talking about Spider-Man films, you are THE BEST!

Okay, if you’re new to From the Mind of One Tim Cubbin and have never read my reviews before, I usually try to keep a standardized format of… well, reviewing it. Today, the first thing we’re going to do (after my boring intro) is talk about a few of the main characters. Regular readers know I give backgrounds, including origins of the characters and some of the history of the story needed to actually survive this review. BUT! This IS “Spider-Verse” and there were dozens of Spider-Men, Spider-Women, and even Spider-Animals, so I’m only going to talk about a select few that are either the best known or the most important. After that, I will continue the synopsis which will be briefly described in the character introductions and tell a good deal about the stories, avoiding spoilers as much as possible (and thank you NOT to the people who have already spoiled “No Way Home” and ruined the surprises, oh the joy of social media). Following that, I’m going to put in my two cents and talk about my personal take on it, including things I liked and disliked and how I felt reading it. After that, I’ll tell you how much I think you need to know about Spider-Man history in order to fully get it, which I call accessibility. Following that, I’ll give this whole event my own personal numeric score (we’ll get to that when we get to that). Then I’ll tell you if I actually recommend this story, especially including who I recommend the story to, looking back to accessibility. Then I give my boring conclusion paragraph where I tell you what else my blog has, and then you are free to go about your merry way. Well, now, let’s go to what you ACTUALLY WANT to read instead of my incessant blabbing (which, if you’re still here makes you THE BEST!).

First off, I’ll briefly tell you some of the major or most well-known Spider-Men, Spider-Women and Spider-Animals involved in the story. I am avoiding origin stories this time as it would take FOREVER to do and I only want to hold you for a few more minutes. Most of the Spiders are Peter Parker, but we do have a few other Spiders mixed in. The main Spider is Peter Parker/the Amazing Spider-Man who was introduced in 1962. We also have Peter Parker/Otto Octavius/the Superior Spider-Man (Doctor Octopus from the main Marvel Universe in Peter Parker’s body), Billy Braddock/Spider-UK, Gwen Stacy/Spider-Woman (best known as “Spider-Gwen), Miles Morales/Spider-Man, Peter Porker/Spider-Ham, Cindy Moon/Silk, Jessica Drew/Spider-Woman, Jessica Drew/Black Widow, Ben Reilly/Spider-Man, Kaine Parker/Scarlet Spider, Pavitr Prabhakar/Spider-Man, Penelope Parker/Sp//dr, Ben Parker/Old Man Spider-Man, Miguel O’Hara/Spider-Man 2099, Peter Parker/The Spider-Man (better known as Spider-Man Noir), Peter Parker/Spider-Monkey, Ashley Barton/Spider-Woman, Anya Corazon/Spider-Girl, Mayday Parker/Spider-Girl, May Reilly/Lady-Spider, Peter Parker/Six-Armed Spider-Man, Peter Parker/Captain Universe, Hobie Brown/Spider-Punk, May Parker/Spider Ma’am, many other Peter Parkers from other media such as cartoons and movies, several other Spiders who are not Peter Parker, those who were so minor they weren’t really identified; I mean, SO MANY SPIDERS! There are THOUSANDS of universes, most of them having at least ONE Spider, this list could go on for pages if they were all identified.

Okay, now, we’ve talked about ALL the Spiders I could think of, now we’ll talk about the villains. The Spiders are facing a family of energy suckers who feed off of the essences of Spider-Totems, all of them now obsessed with our group of Spiders who are all big juicy Spider-Totems. This family call themselves the Inheritors. This family is made up of Solus, Daemos, Verna, Brix, Bora, and Morlun. An Inheritor cannot truly be destroyed as they will return to clone bodies upon their deaths.

Well, now that we’ve got all of them squared away, let’s talk about the stories. Like many good stories, the central story focuses on a prophecy. It tells of the Inheritors’ defeat by the Spider-Totems of the Multiverse. The only way to prevent their demise is to slay three Spider-Totems: the Bride, the Scion, and the Other. This would insure that no other Spider-Totems would be created and the Inheritors will inherit the Multiverse. The identities of the Spider-Totems in the prophecy are Cindy Moon/Silk (the Bride), Benji Parker (the Scion), and Kaine Parker/Scarlet Spider (the Other). The Spiders band together with missions to defeat the Inheritors, travelling through all different realities where friends are foes, foes are allies, and things are all backwards from their home realities.

So, now I have a few things to say. I thought this story was AMAZING (no pun intended)! I LOVED EVERY ISSUE! I thought the writing was top notch. I thought all of the writers, er, spun a good web.  Some of my readers know that I am VERY keen about artwork. This can TOTALLY interfere with my scoring. The artwork never disappointed me. I especially enjoyed the throwbacks to specific realities. In one story, several Spiders travelled to the reality of the original 1967 cartoon, and I thought that was great. The artist TOTALLY caught the essence of the old series, mimicking the original artwork style perfectly, and it was like putting speech bubbles in the cartoon (I’m about to turn thirty-four in a month, but I watched that cartoon on DVD when I was a kid). I also liked the story featuring Peter Parker from the “Ultimate Spider-Man” animated series. And there were several other Easter eggs that long-time Spidey fans would pick up. All-in-all, I thoroughly enjoyed this event, and prior readers of this blog know I am very hard to please.

Okay, now we move on to accessibility. I don’t actually give this a numeric score, but I do say how easy a story is to pick up. In this case, I thought the event was very much self-contained. I feel that it’s relatively easy to pick up, even for fans who have never read a Spider-Man comic before and have only seen films or cartoons or have never had any prior experience with Spidey. Knowing a little background helps, but I don’t think it was essential. Some of these Spiders were only just introduced in the event, and there were origin stories contained where they were needed, so I feel this makes this easy to understand. Yes, there were Spiders with established history (considering Spidey was created in 1962 and this event was published in 2014), but I don’t think the long-term history is a hindrance. Hold that thought, we’ll return to this in two paragraphs.

Now, the moment you’ve been waiting for… my numeric score. I’ve already talked a lot about my feelings so this paragraph will be relatively brief. I score on a scale of one to ten. One means this was absolutely horrible (but you know I’m not scoring ANYWHERE near that), ten means in was mind-blowingly awesome. So I score it at… drumroll please… NINE! There were a few points that I didn’t like so unfortunately I couldn’t give it a perfect score, but it was pretty close for me.

Alright, we’re almost to the end (if you’re still here you are THE BEST!). Well, let’s see, I did say something about recommendation, didn’t I? So, do I recommend it? YES! YES! A thousand times, YES! If you’re a fan of any Spider-Man, Spider-Woman, or Spider-Animal, check this out as they are just about guaranteed to be there somewhere. If you’ve always wanted to read a Spider-Man comic but don’t know where to start, I think this book is a pretty good jump-in point. If you just saw “No Way Home” and want to get a TRUE Spider-Verse story, this is the right book for you. If you’ve never even HEARD of Spider-Man before reading this post and decided this sounds interesting, I totally recommend reading this. HOWEVER! I CANNOT tell you if this is a good story. For me, yes, it was a great story. But it might not be good for YOU. I can’t tell you how to feel. There are those of you who may say “No Way Home” was the best movie ever made, while some of you may say the hype was wrong and regret buying a ticket. We’re all entitled to our own opinions. This post is mine, feel free to have yours.

Okay, I’ve probably bored you just about long enough. BUT! If you liked this, I’ve already written more than seventy posts, many of which being book reviews, so feel free to read more book reviews when looking for something to read, I might have a few good recommendations for you. I also write editorials (being a certified journalist), I write essays, I write short fiction and non-fiction, I write poetry, I do all kinds of things, so if you like my writing style, feel free to explore more From the Mind of One Tim Cubbin. So now, if you’re still here, you are THE BEST! I hope you’ll come back, I post fairly regularly so keep checking, and till next time, Tim Cubbin… out!

"Sinister War"

Welcome to From the Mind of One Tim Cubbin. I am, surprisingly enough, Tim Cubbin.

The following is a review of the Marvel Comics event “Sinister War” as presented on Marvel Unlimited. THIS HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH “Spider-Man: No Way Home,” which, at the time of my typing this, December 13, 2021, the world is getting ready for its release on December 17, 2021, and is just about a comic storyline that was released several months ago but just now available on Marvel Unlimited and am typing this the day the whole event was completely available, so if you think I’m going to be saying ANYTHING about “No Way Home,” you are not on the blog post you were expecting, but please, stay anyway because… well, just stay.

So, for some of you who have never read my reviews before, first I do the whole boring “blah, blah, blah” introduction that I have to say so you know what you’re getting into. After that, I briefly introduce the major characters. Then I give a synopsis of the story, followed by my own personal thoughts on the story. Then I talk about accessibility, which will suggest if you “No Way Home” preparers should actually read this story. Then I’ll give a numeric score of the story, which I will explain when we get there. Then I’ll say if I actually recommend reading this, and to who I think this is best suited for. Following that, I write the conclusion statement and bore most of you who no longer care what I have to say and click out immediately after I score it and move on to whatever you want to do after I blather these words which you probably won’t read anyway, but I know that some people stay with me, and if you do, you are THE BEST! (Particularly “No Way Home” excited preparers). Then I shut up and then say the three words I always sign off with (some of you may already know them, and if you do you are totally THE BEST! I love my regular readers and appreciate the support!), and let you do whatever you want to do on the internet now, Facebook, Instagram, Tik Tok, check your email, order last minute Christmas gifts, look at something inappropriate, watch something on YouTube, play video games, I honestly don’t care at the conclusion of my typing, posting, and promoting this because I am done with this and will be sure to write more content soon (I’m working on a book that will be reviewed in three or four days) and then I’ll try to get my thoughts together because this is ALL over the place, and… well, let’s just move on because I am most likely boring you and typing this to people who no longer wish to read my rant, so…

Yeah, let’s talk about Peter Parker/the Amazing Spider-Man. Peter was in high school when he went to a demonstration on radiology. A spider got in front of the rays and became radioactive. It then bit Peter Parker and Cindy Moon as it died (and Silk has nothing to do with this, so if you don’t know her it really doesn’t matter because she was not in this and therefore I won’t talk about her). Peter then discovered he had the proportional strength and agility of a spider, adhesive fingertips and toes, and a precognitive danger warning (“Spider-Sense”). He created web shooters. Then he went into showbiz, which didn’t work out, but he soon took his Uncle Ben’s words “with great power, there must also come great responsibility” to heart after Peter could have prevented Ben Parker’s death and started fighting bad guys, and the rest is history.

Next is Mary Jane Watson. MJ is Peter Parker’s girlfriend (and Peter is getting ready to propose to MJ) and actress. Her movie is premiering, and she and Peter are in attendance. This movie is essentially a biopic about Spidey’s longtime villain Quentin Beck/Mysterio, and was directed by… (wait for it)… Mysterio in the disguise of Cage McKnight. MJ actually knew this, but still stayed with him through the filming (and has apparently told Mysterio Peter’s identity as Spider-Man).

Quentin Beck/Mysterio was a stunt man who made cool tech but decided to use it to get what he wanted and became a super villain (and yes, this includes beating Spidey). So yeah, Beck was attending the premier with Peter and MJ.

Carlie Cooper is a forensic scientist and has been abducted. She has been locked up in a cell with Harry Osborn.

Harry Osborn is the son of one of Spidey’s worst enemies, Norman Osborn/the Green Goblin, and has been the Green Goblin himself.

Then we have the main villain, Harry Osborn/Kindred… wait! If Harry is in a cell with Carlie Cooper, then who is Kindred?

Then we have thirty-some-odd villains, all parts of teams that include Sinister in their team name or in groups of six, such as the Sinister Six, the Savage Six, the Sinister Syndicate, the Sinister Foes of Spider-Man, and a few others, let’s not get too far into that. Obviously, thirty-some-odd villains CANNOT all be named, and many are just there for action sequences which show Spidey fighting them and have no personal dialogue.

So, synopsis time. I’ve said a lot of the story already, so this is going to be repetitive and relatively short. Peter is at the premier with MJ, going to propose to her at the end of the movie. But we have “the Parker Luck” and the Sinister teams crash the premier of the movie.  They all want to kill Spider-Man because Kindred said that if their team doesn’t kill Spider-Man they will be… darned to a place that is traditionally referred to “down below” (I don’t use profanity on this blog, but you can now probably figure this out for yourself, and if you don’t know, look it up).

Okay, this is about all I can tell you about the story without spoilers. So now, my personal thoughts. I hate to say this, but… I was relatively disappointed by it. There were thirty-some-odd villains and six teams! Some villains are hard to recognize because they only get a few panels here and there showing them hitting Spider-Man or Spider-Man hitting them. And then keeping tabs on who was on what team was relatively difficult (possibly even impossible). Kindred’s true identity was a surprise. Kindred was not who the readers expected. After spending almost three years with the character, guessing Kindred’s identity, believing it was Harry Osborn for almost two years, it caught me off guard to who was actually under the mask. But the ending with Kindred felt anti-climactic to me (even including the words “To Be Continued”), and the end of the Sinister War just seemed lame.

Okay, now for accessibility. I think it is a great starting point for new readers. Let me clarify, though: I wouldn’t call the story great, but it’s relatively self-contained.

Well, let’s move on to my numeric score. The story totally did not adhere, thirty-some-odd villains are WAY too many, I felt the finales were weak, and to me it was just so disjointed (even more so than this review). BUT! I do have to say what saves this score from being so abysmal: the art. The art was AMAZING! Mark Bagley is one of my favorite comic book artists and his work on “Sinister War” totally did not disappoint me as I felt it fit in with the same panache that I’m used to with his work. Even the work on “The Amazing Spider-Man” seemed high quality to me. So, let me explain how the score works: I score on a scale of one to ten, one being so awful I feel like the three hours it took me to read it were a total waste of time, ten being this was an amazing read. BUT! There were two separate series with two separate stories, and I feel that I have to address that. So I’m going to score both stories individually and as a combination of the two. As I said, “Sinister War” was a hot mess, and I give it a harsh three. “The Amazing Spider-Man” was much better, so I actually am going to give it a five. So, by law of average, as a whole, I’d score it at a four.

As for recommendation, well, if you see “No Way Home” and it doesn’t meet your high expectations and want to make you feel a redemption for Spidey, maybe this will actually be good for you. Some of the villains are great, and include the Green Goblin, the Lizard, Sandman, Electro, and Doctor Octopus (all in “No Way Home!”) and were treated by the writer with great respect and effect, and have the desired “Sinister Six” you might have expected from “No Way Home” and might not get (I don’t know how the movie is, so I can’t predict if you’ll like it or not, I’m just saying), and in fact, about six groups, so if you have a favorite Spidey villain (aside from Venom and Carnage), they might even be in this book. So, while I didn’t personally love it, you might actually consider reading it. I mean, I didn’t think it was horrible, so any Spidey fans wanting to read any Spidey comics but never had could pick this book up as a paperback if it sounds interesting by my description, I say, “Go for it.” Decide how you feel yourself. Look, I can’t tell you if this is a good book or not, I’m not every human being on the planet, I’m just one Tim Cubbin, so I honestly can’t speak for everyone on that. You decide yourself. I can’t tell YOU how to think, you think for yourself. So if you read it, please send me comments or Tweets telling me what you think of “Sinister War,” I totally want to know. However… DO NOT BRING “No Way Home” INTO THIS! I insist. This is NOT a post about “No Way Home,” I honestly don’t care how you feel about it, this is JUST “Sinister War.” Also, no one has ever left a comment before, and if you are actually the first, you are THE BEST! Honestly, I mean it. So, if you liked it, Retweet, Emoji, Like, Comment and keep coming back to From the Mind of One Tim Cubbin. I post fairly often, I have a post lined up after this one in a few days (it is NOT about “No Way Home” by the way), I write reviews about most of the things I read, and I read A LOT, so you know I have plenty coming up. I also write short stories, poetry, essays, editorials, things journalists do (I am, in fact, a certified journalist, I just can’t get employment so I write these for free hoping someone will notice me) and more. If you are here, still reading, you are THE BEST! Hopefully I don’t leave you thinking this was a waste of time and sour you to future posts, so if you read more of my work, you are THE BEST! I’m going to leave you now, with three words. Tim Cubbin… out! 

A Tribute to Wakka, Part Five

The following is Part Five of a tribute to my bearded dragon, Wakka, who passed away December 4, 2021. This series will include favorite memories and stories of my life with my companion for five years.

            Wakka has now been lain to rest. It had been one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my entire life, matching up with the grief of losing my dog Casper. Wakka was my baby, my son. To all my other pets, I’m “Brojah”  (a form of “Brother” that I once said to Casper which actually stuck and that’s how he knew me, and as my cat Rose knows me as well), but to Wakka I was Dada. I even have a mug that says “Bearded Dragon Dad” which I have not made coffee in for the past six days, as I am no longer a Bearded Dragon Dad, and that, over the past five years, has been my favorite mug, the mug I made coffee in every morning. I’m also in doubt of ever having hooman children, not completely ruling it out, but it may not ever happen, so he was my first child. I loved him like a dad and he was my son, and I was a single parent. (I have no woman in my love life at the moment, so there was no mom.) I couldn’t have loved him more if I were a contributing factor in his conception. I had several nicknames for him as well, which, fortunately he never thought were his real names. “Li’l Goober,” “Mister Grump Grump,” “Wakka-Man the Grump,” “Mister Lizard-Man,” and “The Wakka Monster.” I think every parent has nicknames for their children, hoomans or fur babies. I’ve been called “Timbo,” “TimTim,” “Master Timothy,” and, to my hatred, “Timmy,” by my grandmother and at one of my last jobs (which I cringed every time I was called that, by the way, if anyone from my job at Test America is reading this, which I HIGHLY doubt) over the course of my life. (My full name is Timothy, but I’ve preferred to be called “Tim” since I was four years old.) This is probably going to be the last part of “A Tribute to Wakka,” so I’m going to talk about the present and the future. Wakka was buried December 7, 2021 under the deck of my house, and am working on a headstone. I’m going to be visiting him a lot, for sure. But for now, well… Wakka’s tank is in my office, where I am typing these essays. The room and the house feel so empty. It’s so dark in here (bearded dragons need heat and basking lights as they are coldblooded animals) the lights being off. I have all the lights on in my office except for Wakka’s lights and it feels like there’s no electricity in here. And I keep glancing over, which I constantly did, just to look at my little guy and see what he was up to, and I have to remind myself that he’s not here over and over again. I also imagined the things Wakka would say and say “Wakka says…” and realize he’s not here anymore to “say” anymore. All the things I try to say or do and have to catch myself. He was a fixture in my life for five years, and accepting he’s gone has been so difficult. For those who don’t know, I’m bipolar and mentally impaired (and the fact I’m so articulate is rather surprising, and I’m a college graduate with a bachelor’s degree English major and Journalism minor, which, being disabled and unemployed, is why I do this blog, it’s my job and my life, how I feel like I have a purpose). Wakka was my emotional support lizard, so the past six days have been EXTREMELY difficult, and my grieving responses have been badly elevated. Now, let’s talk about the Kübler-Ross model, commonly known as the five stages of grief. They are: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. I’ve been all over it. The fact I keep expecting Wakka is be here is denial. I’m so angry at God for taking my lizard the day after the eighth anniversary of Casper’s passing. Why is my beardie gone? It’s not fair! (Bargaining). I’m so sad Wakka’s gone, so depressed. It’s been a total jumping mess on the model for me. And I just can’t accept that he’s gone. This is just so difficult for me, as I’ve just explained in seven-hundred words. So, where do I go from here? My life just feels so empty without Wakka. It’s like a huge hole has been ripped from my heart. But I know Wakka would want me to celebrate his life, not mourn his death. Which is why I have been doing these five essays. So, I’m going to adopt a new beardie baby in January, (January 19^th, 1988 is my birthday), one that needs a nice loving home, and a hooman who can take good care of it. I have to say, becoming a beardie dad was difficult. I’d never had a reptile companion before. He was my first. I had bought a bearded dragon handbook, but I know those of you with human children know they cannot properly prepare you for what parenthood truly is. This book was not useful AT ALL! So, in all honesty, I had absolutely no idea what I was doing October 28, 2016 when Wakka entered my office. And yet I was able to create a nice, safe, loving home for Wakka, where he was happy and healthy for five years. What I did raising him, I did absolutely right (the average beardie life is about five to ten years, so I did the best I could and got him to an average age). Well, he was usually happy until I had a kidney infection in October 19, 2020 and was hospitalized for a month. I think he felt I abandoned him. After all, a hooman’s life threatening illness is not something a beardie can truly comprehend, and when I came home he had a different personality. Or it just could have been as he was growing up, he hit… well, it was a transitional stage that human kids go through when they grow up and give their parents great frustration. But, whatever the reason, when I came in my office, he looked up at me with that big Wakka smile and it always made my life seem so much better, seeing that little creature look at me like I was the most wonderful thing in the universe. Which is why his death has been so difficult for me. But having a new beardie who might give me that look is something I very much want. I know it won’t be a replacement for Wakka, it’ll be a whole new being, but every human is different, and that’s how my new baby will be. But I think of this: going in with my new beardie baby, I have experience. I know what I’m doing. And THAT is a very big difference. This new beardie will have a great life with a loving dad. With Wakka, I was a “slather” (a male smother, a term I may have come up with, but I hope will soon be popular vernacular), but he loved it. He loved me, I loved him, and a new beardie baby will give me more love in my life and I will have all the love for it. Wakka knew nothing but for how to be loved and how to give that love back. And I want that again in my life. I actually have names for my next beardie (I know it's still more than a month away, but I love thinking about the future), which I am keeping hush-hush for now, it’ll be a surprise to everyone. I will say, however, the names come from some of my favorite video games, just like Wakka’s was, so it will be rather original and not a common pet name, which will make our lives very special. I can’t wait to bring it home, and you can expect to hear about this beardie when I get it and share the story of this beardie’s adoption with you. And I’ll leave you now with things to think of. If you’re reading this post, you should totally look at the other four posts of “A Tribute to Wakka” if you still haven’t done so yet to get a larger view of the life of Wakka Auron Cubbin. And if you are looking for a pet, totally consider a bearded dragon! They are great, loving companions, relatively easy to raise, and lots of fun to share time with! And, as ever, I have tons of other content on this blog, so you should totally check them out. And ‘til next time, Tim Cubbin… out! 

A Tribute to Wakka, Part Four

 

The following is Part Four of a tribute to my bearded dragon, Wakka, who passed away December 4, 2021. This series will include favorite memories and stories of my life with my companion for five years.

Last time, I talked about activities Wakka loved to do. Now I’m going to talk about how I physically handled him.

I was originally afraid to handle Wakka when he was so tiny. I’d originally called it “male postpartum lizard depression.” In all honesty, I’d never heard of a bearded dragon until about four months before I adopted him. When my mom brought it up, I pictured something that anyone who has never heard the phrase “bearded dragon” would imagine. If you’re reading this and this is the first time you’ve ever heard of a bearded dragon, Google it (or you could use any browser to look it up, any one of them works). It was not what I expected; it was cuter. If you watched “Game of Thrones,” the dragons DO NOT look like a beardie, by the way, but the names of Dany’s dragons are actually popular names for beardies (I’m actually reading the books and never seen the show, but I’ve seen the still images, so I know what they look like). While we’re on that, there are several other popular beardie names. For example, Toothless (from “How to Train Your Dragon”), Spyro (the video game dragon), Charmander, Charmeleon, and Charizard (from Pokémon), and Puff (the magic dragon), are popular names. These are all popular dragons and lizards, so the names are often thought of when adopting a beardie. I’ve said “Wakka” came from “Final Fantasy X” and “Kingdom Hearts.” Wakka was my favorite character, and I wanted my beardie to have a unique name, an uncommon name, a special name, something original that people wouldn’t think of. And for some strange reason, it worked. I told people his name and showed them his pictures (which, I took, like, ninety-nine trillion pictures of and would show them off to anyone who would stand near me for any length of time, bragging “this is my son,” and my dad said “I always wanted a grandchild, I just didn’t think he’d have scales”, and though he never met Wakka, he loved the photos) and people would say, “Yeah, he looks like a Wakka.” And yes, he learned his name, and if I talked about him on the phone, he’d turn his head and give a look that said “I know you’re talking about me.” He was always a friendly little guy. He only ever bit me once, and that was only because I had bugs in my hand and was hand-feeding him (beardies have eyes on either side of their heads and cannot see directly in front of them, so he was aiming for the bugs but missed), it was not malicious and he immediately gave a look that said “Oops, sorry Dada. And you don’t taste very good.” Bearded dragons also have no vocal chords, so the only sound that can ever escape from their mouths is a horrible hiss, but Wakka never hissed, even when I knocked his hand log over on him (but he was grumpy about that for three days after that), so he was a quiet-mouthed little beardie. And oddly enough, beardies are actually mildly venomous. But don’t be turned off, it’s only fatal for small animals like rodents, but it will sting for several hours after a bite, and beardies don’t usually go around just biting hoomans like snakes do for no reason, so they’re a lot safer than snakes and don’t require live mice as part of their diet. But I’ve totally gone all off-topic, so I’ll move on. Beardies tend to start off very small (fully grown they’re about eighteen to twenty-four inches). I have a firm grip. When I was in school, I constantly broke pencils by holding too tight and writing. So a little baby beardie was scary for me as I was afraid I’d smush it. When I first held Wakka, I got a little scared and only held him for a minute when the breeder handed him to me. Fortunately he was very docile and didn’t squirm, or I’d probably have dropped him. So it took a few months before I every actually truly held him. When he was about a foot was when I started handling him (he grew to eighteen inches as a full-grown adult), but when I did, I didn’t want to stop. Wakka’s earliest human contact was with my mom, who was able to hold him in one hand and pet him with her thumb, and she has small hands. Wakka grew to love hugs and cuddles and snuggles. His favorite thing was to be held over my heart. When Wakka wanted a hug, a true hug, he would place one paw on my chest, then the other, then put his head on my chest (yes, there were times he didn’t want hugs and would not hug back, he’d just look at me with a look that said “put me down, hooman, no snuggles!”). On December 3, 2021, right before he passed, he gave me what turned out to be our final hug, and he didn’t want to let go. I think he knew it would be our last hug and held it as long as he could. I think the sound of the beating of my heart was comforting to him. Contact he didn’t like, however, was baths. If you put him in water, he would climb out of the tub as quick as possible, and look at me with a look that said “I don’t want to be wet, Dada, I want to be dry!” When I dried him up, he was so happy. He would sway back and forth (like a wet dog shaking itself. He also scratched his head with a back leg at times, like a dog. Sometimes I don’t think he realized he was a lizard). He also did some… unpleasant activities in the bathtub, but let’s not talk about that. I also had the boops game, where I’d circle my hands, tap his snoot with my index finger and say “boop!” Honestly, I don’t know if he liked it, but he never bit my finger, so I guess he didn’t hate it. He gave two looks during the boops game. The first was “No, hooman, no boops. NO BOOPS! (Boop!) Why you do that hooman? I said no boops!” The other was “I am NOT amused!” Also, as you probably know, like every reptile, Wakka would shed. He just wasn’t very good at it. He would only shed a few body parts at a time. For example, he did the “toga.” For those who don’t know what I mean, his back would partially shed, but it would leave one shoulder not shedding, so it looked like a toga. I said he would scratch himself like a dog, that was during a shed. And only part of his head would shed at a time. One time, he had the COVID mask shed. All around his snoot there was a shed, but the rest of his head wasn’t shedding. If you’re reading this in the twenty-second century (which is altogether possible) and COVID is relatively non-existent (and I honestly hope it does, 2021 is a disaster), and don’t know about masks, we have a pandemic where we had a highly transmittable disease and have to wear masks to try to prevent spreads. So Wakka was shedding and looked like he had a mask on his face. Sometimes one leg would shed, then after that shed was complete, parts of the other three legs would shed. One time, his belly completely shed at once in his water dish. But as you can imagine, Wakka didn’t like EVERY form of contact. I know if you have a pet like a dog or a cat, you often give them kisses. Well, I think beardies deserve it too. So I gave him many smooches over the five years I had him. But he made a face that said “My dignity! Hooman lips have touched me! Get me disinfectant!” One time I kissed him and a shed came off on my face (that was rather gross). So he did NOT like being kissed, but he was my baby and I did it anyway as a gesture of love.

We’re going to stop here for now as there are a LOT more Wakka memories to share, so please, keep coming back for more stories of my five years with Wakka! And if you are looking for a pet, totally consider a bearded dragon! They are great, loving companions, relatively easy to raise, and lots of fun to share time with! Until next time, Tim Cubbin… out!

A Tribute to Wakka, Part Three

 

            The following is Part Three of a tribute to my bearded dragon, Wakka, who passed away December 4, 2021. This series will include favorite memories and stories of my life with my companion for five years.

            Last time, I talked about some of Wakka’s favorite words and activities. There is, however, another activity not mentioned last time that Wakka truly loved, and we’re going to talk about that now.

            I must say beardies are good listeners. Yes, he often didn’t know what I was talking about (beardies can’t learn a whole lot of words, what with their brains not being very big), but he listened. He was always a good sounding board, despite not knowing how to respond. I’ve been doing this blog for over a year now and talking to him has created A LOT of the posts on this site. Yes, he knew the word “cartoon” and what it meant, but he also loved hearing stories from Dada. My regular readers know I LOVE Marvel, and we read comics together. My bachelors’ degree is in English and Journalism (and being an unemployed journalist is the driving point of this blog) so reading and writing are my passions. Let’s face it, when we read, we all imagine in our heads what the characters are saying and how the characters are saying these words. Well, when I read out loud, which I did for Wakka, my passion ignites and I try to get the words out the way I imagined reading it. These stories were fun for both me and Wakka. I know he loved the sound of my voice because he always looked at me as I spoke (he always looked at me like I was the most wonderful thing there is, with his big Wakka smile, so no matter how bad my day was, I would go to my room, see that little guy, and that always made my day better). So when I read to him, the story was exciting and fun and I totally got into it, and he totally got into it. We could read together for hours. I think that’s why he liked cartoons, the stories and the voices, but I think also due to the colors (I’m on many bearded dragon groups on Facebook, and most beardies love cartoons, again due to the voices, the sound effects, and the colors. And yes, when we read comics I made the sound effects). Also, my associates’ degree is in elementary education, and for a while I wanted to be an English teacher, so I got to be Wakka’s English teacher. I also give my cat school (an excuse to read things I want to read but on average don’t have time to read). Great way to pass the time. (And a lot of my book reviews were read in class with my cat Rose so she gave me quite a lot of content for this blog). Also, there’s another post “I Wanted a Dog,” where I talk about my dog Casper, so all of my pets are responsible for this blog in several ways. I hate that I have to make these posts about Wakka posthumously, but he was a good companion. This past Saturday morning, December 4, 2021, I unfortunately found that Wakka had passed on. A term for the passing on of a beardie is that it “earned its wings.” My cat Rose has a bell on her collar, so several minutes afterward, I thought of “It’s A Wonderful Life” and the quote “Every time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings” and tapped on Rose’s collar bell, just so my little angel truly earned his wings. As I said about the beardie owner groups, I got a lot from them over the entire course of Wakka’s life. Now, I’m going to explain a little thing about beardies that you might not have thought about. There are different morphs of beardies. You shouldn’t be surprised, though. Look at dogs. Think of all the different breeds of dogs there are. Well, beardies are the same. They come in different patterns and colors. Wakka actually had a morph not mentioned in The Bearded Dragon Manual I bought when I adopted him. As I said in prior installments, it really didn’t help all that much, and the beardie Facebook groups got me through these five years with Wakka where the Manual didn’t suffice. We beardie owners are VERY proud of our beardies. We constantly share pictures and ask for help from each other when we are in difficult situations and offer support when our beardies earn their wings. Wakka was a dark gray color with no back pattern, and a pure white beard and belly. Being a Marvel fan, I’ve thought of Wakka as a mutant. He was one-of-a-kind and very unique. And he was one of the most loving souls I’ve ever encountered, knowing nothing but love, and knowing nothing but to give love. One beardie group admin actually made a cartoon out of Wakka several years ago, and it was beautiful. But again, proud beardie owners. This past year, on Wakka’s September 1 hatchday, he got more birthday wishes on Facebook than I did… and I don’t even personally know any of these people! And upon posting of Wakka’s passing, I’ve gotten nothing but great support, great words of comfort and even poems, and yes, The Rainbow Bridge. Now, I’m Catholic, and immediately I thought of selfish things about Wakka’s passing. People always say “They’ve gone to a better place,” and “they’re not suffering anymore.” My thoughts against that were “He was in a great place with me” and “he never suffered his whole life.” How am I supposed to believe and accept these? Many people have heard of the Kübler-Ross Model of the Five Stages of Grief. Now, prior readers may be aware of the fact that I have bipolar disorder. But the model isn’t working right for me. I’ve been hopping all around the Stages in different order every few seconds. Why is my beardie dead? It’s not fair my beardie is dead? How am I supposed to live without my beardie? Wakka was a constant fixture in my life for five years. I always visited him to talk to him, to tell him “It’s not called ‘reptile dysfunction,’” “There is no Statue of Lizardy,” “These are noodles, not worms,” all our little jokes over the past five years. And now he’s gone. I’m alone in my room, the tank is empty, there’s no one to look at, to talk to, the house feels empty. There’s a hole in my heart, there’s a part of me missing, I’m alone. Why him? Why now? My dog Casper died December 3, 2013, Wakka died December 4, 2021. Why do the days have to be so similar? Why do I one day mourn my dog, the next I have to mourn my lizard? It’s not fair! But we have to remember that pets are just borrowed, God gives them to you for a limited amount of time, you just have to make the best time of it you possibly can. A beardie’s average lifespan is five-to-ten years. Wakka made it to five. I just have to appreciate we had five happy years together, cherish them, remember them fondly, and hold Wakka in my heart for the rest of my life until I join God in Heaven and am reunited with my little guy. But my life feels so empty without a beardie. And I have to think Wakka wants me to be happy and welcome a new beardie into my home and give it a happy life as I gave Wakka a happy life. I have a Bearded Dragon Dad mug, and will make it mean something again. To Wakka, I’ll miss and love you forever, and while in death we are apart, your Dada loves you with all his heart.

            Now as I finish this, I prepare to place Wakka to his final resting place. This series has been powerful and emotional to me, and I hope it means something to you, as well. And if you are looking for a pet, totally consider a bearded dragon! They are great, loving companions, relatively easy to raise, and lots of fun to share time with! Be on the lookout for my more content from this blog, I post fairly regularly and hopefully I have other pieces to tickle your fancy. And I say to you, until next time, Tim Cubbin… out!

A Tribute to Wakka, Part Two

The following is Part Two of a tribute to my bearded dragon, Wakka, who passed away December 4, 2021. This series will include favorite memories and stories of my life with my companion for five years.

Last time, I told you the story of my first day with Wakka and other details pertaining to the early times of raising a bearded dragon. I will admit continuity will be a little jumbled in the telling, but important details are inserted at times to explain what raising a beardie is like for people unfamiliar with raising a beardie.

Wakka turned out to be quite playful. He often exercised, running around the tank and interacting with his decorations. Decorations are VERY important when raising a beardie. They need things to climb on and hide under. If you read Part One, you will know what decorations I gave him, but I will describe them in slightly more detail. I had bought him a hideous thing the register at PetSmart identified as the “Tree Demon.” This had a rough surface, good for helping a beardie’s body as they do have parts that need to be scratched for their bodily health. The Tree Demon also had shelter underneath it for him to crawl and hide under. Wakka had a large tail however, so hiding under the Tree Demon did not make him invisible. He also had a plastic interpretation of a triceratops skull, and a plastic cactus which he had somewhat of a… fixation on (keeping this post G-Rated, so you don’t need to know anything more). And he had his food and water dish. In his tank, he saw a reflection of himself and did not realize it was him, instead thinking another beardie wanted to eat his bugs, and he sometimes decided his water dish was a bathtub. In the last part, I told you my friend Chris had set me up with Bearded Dragon communities on Facebook. We beardie owners are VERY proud of our dragons and LOVE to share pictures of their antics. Wakka had an activity known as “glass surfing.” He would walk around and drag with pancake belly across the glass of his tank. (I say “pancake” as that is what their bodies look like when they lay flat of the floor). And for those of you who don’t know why the species is called a “bearded” dragon, it is because they have scales under their chin which, at times they will inflate, and resemble the shape of a beard. He also had unusual positions that he would assume for hours that did not possibly look like they would be comfortable. And he had a sleeping position of sprawling against the glass with his front feet up. My family came to meet him one day. I have an amazing Uncle Frank and cousins Gina and Kate. I was Wakka’s “Dada,” a single father (and he was my son in every way imaginable except for coming out of my body). My cousins Gina and Kate are so close to me that I consider them more as sisters than cousins, so they were Wakka’s Aunt Gina, Aunt Kate, and Great-Uncle Frank. Wakka loved his Aunt Gina, they played together for ten minutes straight. Wakka was a sweet little creature who not only WAS loved, but COULD love in return. He also knew a few words. Sure they have very little brain because of their size, but beardies can learn some words and associate what they mean. He knew his name, Wakka. If I was in my room on the phone talking about him, he got the “I know you’re talking about me” look (and sometimes gave stank eye, but that didn’t always involve anything other than him looking at you). He also knew me as “Dada” and my caretaker, my mother as “Gammy.” We also had “Cartoon Sundays,” while my mom was at work. My regular readers, who have read previous posts such as my prose and graphic novel reviews, know I am a HUGE Marvel fan. When we got Disney+, he was in heaven. He loved Spider-Man and always liked watching all of his animated series’ (I think personally he liked the villain the Lizard and thought he was just misunderstood, but I could never truly know what he was thinking because HE COULDN’T TALK! In fact, beardies have no vocal chords, so the only noise they can make is a hiss, but Wakka never hissed at anyone.) And that was a word he learned: “Cartoons.” If you said the words “cartoon” or “cartoons,” he knew EXACTLY what they were and got very excited. In his tank, he had the optimal viewing position. (He rarely left his tank except for cleanup time or contact, which he never seemed to mind, showing no real interest in leaving it. My house is small but cluttered and he could very easily get lost and would never be found again, so staying in his tank was a requirement. One time I actually left his tank open and unattended for over ten minutes and he never moved from his position, so obviously he liked staying in his tank). As soon as cartoons started, he got in the optimal viewing position and stayed in it until my mom came home and cartoons went off (for me, yesterday was Sunday and watching cartoons just didn’t feel right or the same, but in his honor I watched “Star Wars: The Clone Wars,” as show he never watched, and that was the only cartoon I felt like watching. He passed away sometime during a Friday night or Saturday morning, not sure when exactly). However, I think his favorite word was “bugs,” but I think a lot of beardies will agree with that. I said last time I fed him freeze-dried bugs as breeding live bugs just seemed pointless (I only wanted to raise a beardie, after all, not any other pets, especially live bugs, which I absolutely hate and I would freak out if I ever opened a box of live bugs), but that never seemed to bother him, he did “happy nom nom” either way. He also knew the word “nama” (short for banana, his favorite fruit). I honestly don’t know on average how many words a beardie can truly learn or exactly how many and which ones Wakka knew, but his little brain could do associations of those words and their meanings.

We’re going to stop here for now as there are a LOT more Wakka memories to share, so please, keep coming back for more stories of my five years with Wakka! And if you are looking for a pet, totally consider a bearded dragon! They are great, loving companions, relatively easy to raise, and lots of fun to share time with! Until next time, Tim Cubbin… out!

 

A Tribute to Wakka, Part One

            The following is Part One of a tribute to my bearded dragon, Wakka, who passed away December 4, 2021. This series will include favorite memories and stories of my life with my companion for five years.

            When I first adopted Wakka on October 28, 2016, it was a whole new experience. I’d never had reptile before, and frankly, I never wanted one. After my dog Casper passed away in 2013, I always figured I just wanted another dog. I live with my mom as I am disabled, and as some of you regular readers may know, unemployed, without the funds to live on my own and also as my mom needs assistance. Two years passed, no dog. (For more background on this, I posted a poem called “I Wanted a Dog”). Then my mom heard about bearded dragons and how they make wonderful pets. I was resistant at first. I’d only ever had fur babies and fish prior to that, and a lizard just never hit a ping on my radar. When I finally saw a picture of one, I had to admit it was adorable. (If you’ve never seen a bearded dragon, look them up so you know what I’m talking about). So finally, I was sold on it. So we bought the tank and some decorations. As I looked, I saw the most hideous decoration, and for some reason, I just thought my beardie would like it (it rang up at the register as “Tree Demon.”). Then I had to meet my new friend. The breeder at PetSmart brought me to the holding tank. There were three beardies in the tank. They were hatched on September 1, 2016. I couldn’t believe how tiny they were. Then one looked at me. Two were right near each other, the other was towards the back. As I looked at the ones in the front, the one in the back crawled forward and actually STEPPED on the other two and put its foot on the glass. You know how it is. You’re in a pet store, you want a pet and if you see an animal do that, you HAVE to take it with you. This little creature practically SCREAMED “TAKE ME!” So the breeder took the little creature out for me to hold for first contact. I have a firm grip and was a little afraid I’d smoosh it. I jokingly referred to this as “male postpartum lizard depression.” But this little thing looked up at me and gave me a huge smile. I asked for its gender, and was told it was a boy and asked to name him. Sometimes a name doesn’t instantly come to you, but I thought of my favorite video game “Final Fantasy X” and the character Wakka and I just thought he looked like a Wakka. So I adopted him and brought him home with me. The breeder placed him in a cardboard box with little air holes. Wakka was skittering around in it. When I got home, I set up his tank in my room and placed him in it. He stood there for a moment, looked around curious, then turned and climbed on the Tree Demon. His look said, “Hmm, I think I’ll like it here.” He also had a food and water dish, a plastic cactus, and a plastic triceratops skull, and over the next hour he explored. This totally confirmed “I think I’ll like it here.” And then came the feeding. I had bought a Bearded Dragon Manual (which pretty much was useless) and read the diet. I had bought a package of Omnivore mix, which had a combination of bugs, fruits, and vegetables. The diet also contained bugs, obviously. So I got freeze dried crickets. Honestly, live crickets would be a disaster. I’m a klutz and if I knocked over a box of live bugs, I’d have then crawling all over me at night and make so much noise that I’d never get a good night’s sleep for the rest of my life. And breeding live bugs would be excessive. I mean, I only wanted a bearded dragon, not a hive of dubia roaches, hornworms, and crickets. Only one pet was needed. Fortunately, Wakka LOVED his crickets freeze dried. He ran over to his dish, looked at them for a few seconds, then his little pink tongue came out, snagged the bugs, and crunched. We called the look “Happy nom nom look.” His eyes lit up in excitement as the tongue came out, and as he chewed with his little teeth, a huge smile stayed on his face as he crunched. After he finished his feeding, he actually licked his lips, to get all the bug pieces off his face. BUT! The problem came to eating his veggies. He looked at the plate, then at me with a look that said “You want me to eat THAT?” I don’t have any hooman kids, but from all I’ve seen on them, I knew exactly what that look meant. If he were a hooman, I’d say, “Eat your veggies or no dessert,” but he was a reptile so I couldn’t use that bribe. Then, to my surprise, he looked at a pea and munched it up, then a carrot, and the other veggies, then looked at me with a look that said, “Hmm, not bad. I’d rather have the bugs, but not bad.” Then he went to his water dish. I had heard that some beardies have trouble drinking water and needed a pipette. But Wakka stuffed his little face in and the tongue came slowly out, then in, then out, then in, then… well, you get the point. Then, of course, came the identification of his hooman family. So I became known as “Dada,” my mom as “Gammy,” and my cat as “Aunt Rose.” We, of course, could NOT let those two anywhere NEAR each other as my cat is dominant and would not tolerate anything trying to be cuter than her and would not be a pretty picture. So Wakka stayed in my room, Rose had the rest of the house. Their first meeting terrified Wakka, and if you knew Rose, you would know that this is normal even for hoomans and that you SHOULD be terrified of Rose. Wakka turned out to be very playful. My friend Chris is a reptile enthusiast, and set me up with bearded dragon support groups on Facebook, which turned out to be more help than the Manual. There were also certain other… behaviors… we don’t need to discuss, of course. Wakka’s first night in the house was interesting. He went to the corner or his tank, got his front feet up, and plastered himself against the glass. I don’t know how he could possibly be comfortable like that, but it turns out this is actually normal behavior. We actually found out he hated the dark, and had given him a red light for at night. Now, some people actually say a night light disturbs their sleep cycle. Five years tells otherwise. The lighting for a bearded dragon is also important as they need a certain temperature to be healthy, and the balance of periods of light and dark should be twelve hours of each. So Wakka made it through his first night and his start of five years of great happiness.

We’re going to stop here for now as there are a LOT more Wakka memories to share, so please, keep coming back for more stories of my five years with Wakka! And if you are looking for a pet, totally consider a bearded dragon! They are great, loving companions, relatively easy to raise, and lots of fun to share time with! Until next time, Tim Cubbin… out! 

Painful Super Powers

Hey, guys, you’ve now entered From the Mind of One Tim Cubbin! I don’t know if you’ve ever been here before, but I know some of you reading this post are familiar with my work, or me, or both, and for that I thank you for sticking with me. If you’re new, you’ll get used to me in this post and will hopefully check out some of my other (currently) seventy posts after you’ve read this post. So I also know the title of this post or the tags I attached to it have totally interested you, as if someone else wrote this I totally would myself, but some of you know and like me and totally want to read more of my nonsense, but however you entered, you are THE BEST! You’re here, you’re reading this, I mean, this couldn’t be any more awesome to me!

            Anyhow, I’ve actually posted an essay where I talked about what super power I would like to have. Some of you have read this post, and if you haven’t, feel free to finish this post and then check it out. Whatever you want to do, you’re THE BEST! But this particular post is about painful super powers. Some of you may know I’m a HUGE Marvel comics fan (as a lot of the content on this blog involves Marvel graphic and prose novels). BUT! I don’t read any other comic book publishers, so all of my comic posts are Marvel, and if you don’t like Marvel, you’re probably not reading this. So, here’s what we’re going to do. I’ve picked five Marvel super heroes. Some of them may SEEM to have awesome powers, but if you really thing about it, maybe you might decide you won’t want those powers now.

            We’re going to start with Robert Bruce Banner/The Incredible Hulk. Bruce was caught in the blast of a gamma bomb, and now when he gets angry, stressed, scared, or too excited or stimulated, he transforms into a big green monster with super strength and near invulnerability, and the angrier the Hulk gets, the stronger he gets. (Okay, some of you might be a reader of “The Immortal Hulk” and now the new rules may be more wonky, but I’m going to traditional Hulk right now). So we’re going to break this down a bit. First: the gamma bomb. HE SURVIVED A GAMMA BOMB! Can you imagine how painful that would be? HE WAS BLOWN UP AND PUT BACK TOGETHER! OUCH! And when he then transforms into the Hulk, his muscles grow and he gets bigger, bulked up, his whole body expands! I mean, that HAS to hurt! It CAN’T be comfortable! And then, when the Hulk calms down, he shrinks back to puny Banner. The muscles shrinking back down to average human size? I mean, he rapidly transforms from a weak man, to a giant green monster, then back down to a wimpy average human? I would NOT like to undergo that transformation.

            Next we’re going to talk about Raven Darkholme/Mystique. She is a mutant shapeshifter. Now, I know so many people would like that power. You can be anyone you want! Come on, how much fun is that? BUT! Think about this: your molecules are changing, shrinking, growing, transforming, converting, rearranging, separated, morphing, metamorphosing, more words I can’t come up with at the moment. That would presumably feel odd, uncomfortable, or (as the title says) painful. And certain body parts changing must feel awkward, but we won’t go there. And to make EXACT, TOTAL changes? Eyes, hair, what else seems like mild changes like fingerprints, nails, things we really don’t even think about. People don’t really think about the precision Mystique must use, to be exact, full body transformations, how uncomfortable it would honestly be. Sure it’s a cool power, I totally say that, and would have wanted to have it until suspension of disbelief was broken. Again, it’s honestly something that just about no one else would think about, but I did, I put it out there, I invite you to feel either way about it. As I always say, this blog is all MY opinions, and you don’t have to agree with me. It’s just something to think about.

            Our next character is Robert “Bobby” Drake/Iceman. He’s able to generate ice, lower temperature enough to freeze things, turn his body to ice with minimal shape-changing abilities (such as bodily enhancements and reconstitution if he is damaged in ice form). Once again, shape-changing. He can change his ENTIRE body into ice. That includes skin, bones, muscles, hair, organs, everything. Total transmogrification. TOTAL! I couldn’t imagine that possibly being comfortable. This brings us back to consider Bruce. I honestly don’t know if his Hulk form has expanded bones and organs. I don’t know if Marvel has ever discussed this, but I haven’t read it, but then again, Hulk was created in 1962, and yeah, I may be old, but I’m not THAT old. Iceman was created in 1963, by the way and I also don’t know if any Marvel writer stopped to consider the feeling of Bobby’s transmutations. I know, I’m thinking WAY too much about this.

            Next we’ll consider Jean Grey-Summers/Marvel Girl. She’s telepathic and telekinetic. I know, finally someone who’s not a shape-changer! She can read and influence minds and communicate mentally, as well as able to move objects with her mind. (Also, with Jean, I’m referring to her as Marvel Girl and NOT Phoenix/Dark Phoenix). Yeah, I know you may be thinking “but Tim Cubbin, how can you say these powers are painful? They’re, like, the coolest powers ever!” Yes, these are awesome powers, but we’re going to explore some of the ramifications. Some people may not know this if they never read the comics, but when Jean was a little girl, she had a best friend named Annie. One day, while playing, Annie was in the road and was hit by a car and killed. Jean was there and felt Annie die with an early manifestation of her telepathic powers. If that’s not painful, I don’t know what is. Also, in the Ultimate Marvel Universe, when Jean first manifested her telepathic powers, she could not keep the thoughts of ANYONE around her out of her head. It bothered her so much she chewed her knuckles to the bone and was placed in a mental hospital out of belief of the Homo sapiens schizophrenia mental disease. I know, these are a little gruesome, but I feel they’re necessary tidbits to, in my opinion, enforce my point. So yes, telepathy seems like a really cool power, and it is, IF you can control it. There’s that caveat. Also, not painful, but another tidbit to enhance is if you can’t control your telepathy, you might subconsciously influence the thoughts of other people around you, like make people you want to be friends with like you, and make people you don’t want to like you dislike you, even if they might not necessarily want to if they weren’t telepathically influenced. And you might hear thoughts you really wouldn’t want to hear, other peoples’ private business that you really don’t want to know about, secrets you’d rather not know. Yes this could help, like being in school and taking a test, you can read the mind of the smartest student in class and use it to get a perfect score, but that’s cheating to the maximum level and invasive and unethical and so many words that means it is unfair to others to violate their mental sanctity. It’s just wrong and I really would feel terrible about myself if I did this as this would basically make me an evil mutant. I know, that sounds crazy, but that’s how I’d feel and this is my blog, my opinion, my mind, and I can’t expect you to agree with me. In fact I’d be rather surprised if you did agree with me on this because telepathically is totally awesome and you’d want it. But I’m an ethical guy and I’d feel totally wrong to use my powers all the described ways I just wrote, so there you have it.

            As my final character to analyze, I’m going to use a relatively obscure character, but if you have heard of him, or read comics with him in it, you’d likely totally see my point in choosing him. This character is Jonothon Starsmore/Chamber. Jono communicates telepathically (he can’t actually READ minds, though) and can release biokinetic blasts. I don’t think biokinesis is a common power and I don’t think I’ve ever read another character with this power. The problem is, when his powers manifested, be blasted out his lower face and frontal torso, and the biokinetic blasts roil in these locations. So now he has no vocal chords and no internal organs in these locations such as lungs or a heart. Yeah, you can imagine that hurts, but that probably died down after manifestation and he most likely doesn’t feel it anymore, but still, I don’t want to blow myself up.

            And that’s where we’re going to wrap this up… FOR NOW! Expect more installments on this topic as there are so many more characters I can analyze, so if you liked this post, keep checking my Twitter page or this blog page so you can see when I post these, and totally check out more of my work as I have SO many more ideas and content. I’m a journalist, so I write editorials and other essays like this one, as well as short stories and poetry and Marvel reviews (which I mentioned at the start of this essay), so there’s more stuff to read and like, so keep checking this page out. Follow me on Twitter, retweet, like, comment, share, whatever you can do on Twitter, or keep looking for more on my blog page, if you’re a Facebook friend, share this on your page, tell your friends about this and I’ll take my fingers off my page by saying three more words: Tim Cubbin… out! 

B'ings: Math in Schools

            Hey, guys, welcome to From the Mind of One Tim Cubbin! I’m your guide through this monologue for the next few minutes, and I just happen to be Tim Cubbin. Huh? Imagine that.

            Okay, if you’ve read one of my B’ings before, y’all know the deal. For those who have no idea what a B’ing is… well, I’ll let you see if you can figure it out as you read this, and if you still don’t know what a B’ing is before the end of this editorial… well, I have failed as a blogger.

            Anyway, you’ve seen the title “Math in Schools.” Now, you can imagine this going in two ways. Way one: Math is awesome! Way two: Math is torture! Let’s be clear about this: I am not going to force you to agree with me in this editorial. You have your opinion, this is just me exercising mine in this post. So at the end, this can also go two ways. Way one: Gee, Tim Cubbin has a point, I totally agree with him! Way two: Tim Cubbin is a hack, he’s totally wrong about this! I leave you to feel however you want to feel. If you agree with me by the end of reading this editorial (and I totally hope you’ll read this whole blathering), then that’s awesome! If, however, you disagree with me, that’s fine, I respect your stance! No one can agree on everything. That’s just how things are.

            Anyway, let’s start: What is/was your favorite subject in school? My answer is English, I have a degree in journalism. I’ve been unable to actually professionally use it, which is actually why I do this blog, to get my words out there. It’s been like performers during COVID-19 (I don’t know how long this blog will stay active for, but if it is for, like, a hundred years, you might have no idea what I’m talking about, which I’m actually hoping for because it means this pandemic of my time is over and long forgotten, and THAT would be a perfect world). I have a friend who is a concert singer. Since the start of COVID-19 with the quarantine, she’s been unable to perform in concerts professionally, so sometimes she actually does half hour performances on the internet for no pay because she loves and is dedicated to her fans and wants to entertain them through this crisis. That’s what I do with this blog. But I digress, this probably is not what you wanted to read. Now, I know some of you are sitting here agreeing with me, but a majority probably does not share my preference. I know some of you say science. That’s awesome, I loved science myself, particularly biology and forensics (yes, my high school had a forensics class, which was AWESOME!)! Some of you may think social studies, like history, geography, economics, and politics. Not my thing, but if this was your favorite subject, that’s awesome, I had some really great social studies teachers that made it fun. Some of you may say health. My immature classmates totally ruined that class for me, but I’m sure many of you had great teachers and classmates who did not laugh when certain words and body parts were spoken. I know some of you may be saying physical education. I totally wish I had athletic talents, but sadly, I don’t, but I did ace my college basketball class, so I’m not totally useless. Wait, wait! Dodgeball! I was great at dodgeball in elementary school… but that was over twenty years ago (I know, I’m old), and I’m now disabled, so I am no longer in my prime. But I had the most awesome gym teacher in high school which actually did make gym fun, despite being… unskilled, so my lack of athleticism didn’t detract from enjoying it three times a week. Now, let’s go to the reason you’re here. There are folks reading this who say the absolute best class they teach at schools is mathematics. Now, some of you may read the last sentence and question the sanity of the people who agree with this last sentence. I say, if you think math is the best class that you can take in school is math, you are THE BEST! That said, math was actually my worst subject in school, which is why I think those who love math are awesome because math classes are totally hard and if you’re good at it, you have skills! I totally struggled with math in college, which actually brought my G.P.A. down quite a bit, so if you ace math in college, you are TOTALLY AWESOME! (Note I usually say THE BEST and not TOTALLY AWESOME, but I think THE BEST is redundant, so I changed it up a bit!)

Now, let’s get to my main point: the necessity of math in schools. Some of you who do not have the math gift wonder why they have to take it in school? To you, I say “There is a need to take math in school.” HOWEVER! Certain types of math seem superfluous to instill into students. Elementary school students totally need the knowledge of basic math. Addition, subtraction, multiplication, division, order of operations, beginner algebra are all things EVERYONE NEEDS to get through life. (Well, that was elementary school math when I was in elementary school twenty-eight years ago, I know they’ve changed it up quite a bit since my time. My associate’s degree is in elementary education and the “math for elementary teachers” classes blew my mind that a great portion of the topics I didn’t even learn in college-level algebra, so if those topics are now instilled to elementary school students, I am SO, SO sorry my youth was easier to them!) I know many elementary school students struggle with the concept of algebra, as I did, and wonder “Why do I need to learn this? I’ll never use it in my life?” If they say that, I will respond “YOU DEFINITELY NEED TO LEARN THIS!” I use algebra EVERY DAY for some reason or another. There are ALWAYS going to be variables that occur to you on a very regular basis, and algebra is something you NEED! If you’re a school student and are reading this, this is something you must know to get through life. I know it’s hard, I didn’t master algebra until way into high school, and it takes a while to fully get a grasp on it, but it’s doable. BUT! And this is a VERY BIG BUT! I do feel that certain math subjects aren’t a necessity in life. Calculus and trigonometry were my archenemies in school. Every day doing my homework in high school, I thought “Why do I need to know this?” My answer is: You don’t! These are not parts of typical day to day operations for EVERY person on the planet. Maybe it will come up in your life on occasion and knowing it will be very helpful, but I think it is only needed for specific professions. So, in my opinion, these should NOT be required learning in school. My high school mandate three years of math courses. All I honestly needed to know to get to this point in my life ended after my second year of math in high school. The third year of math covered topics I have NEVER used since then and also hurt my G.P.A. It was superfluous and difficult and annoying and torturous and frustrating. My profession as a journalist has never needed to use those math skills. So again: Why did I need to learn this? Honestly, I didn’t. This advanced level of mathematics does not come up in everyday life for EVERY single student on the planet. BUT! There are professions that do require these skills. For me, it was one of those classes like “I’m only learning this just to get through this class.” I felt that way about college French, too. I learned enough French to get through the class, and thirteen years later, I remember very little of it, I just learned enough to pass the class and forgot most of it. Not ALL! But MOST! That’s another required class students sometimes wonder “Why do I need to know this?” Again, there are professions that REQUIRE it, but it just doesn’t seem to be a necessity. But that’s not what we’re talking about here. This is about math. For those learning math in high school who are struggling with calculus and trig, work hard at it, do your best, then you can forget you ever learned it sixteen years later. Oh, but from my third year of high school math: statistics. THAT is something helpful. Learn THAT! You WILL NEED it at points in your life. Other than that, you probably don’t need to know.

There’s another thing I’d like to address before you are returned to your freedom: homework. A lot of kids struggle with their homework. Their parents/guardians are usually the first people kids turn to for help with their homework. They help with spelling and grammar and reading and things pertaining to English (if you live in an English speaking country, which, if you’re reading this, you probably do because I’m writing this in English), social studies, science, and health, no major problems, these concepts are something parents/guardians can do with their kids. But math? Like I said, I had difficulty with math in school. And the concepts they teach in schools change all the time. So when I had difficulty with math, I was in trouble. I lived with my mom. Sure she’s a bookkeeper, so she has experience. But the concepts I had to study were like another language she didn’t speak, so I was on my own. When I was in ninth grade, I had a teacher who every morning would take the homework questions, put them on the white board, and pick students to do the problems in front of the whole class. We had to do “show the work.” You couldn’t just put the answer on the board, you had to show the process you went through to get your answer. So if you didn’t do your homework or got the answer wrong, the whole class knew. Oddly enough, she never collected homework, so the students most likely not to do the homework were picked to solve the hardest questions so you HAD to do the homework as she would likely call on you if she thought you wouldn’t. So, yes, I would do the homework and pray she wouldn’t call on me to answer the questions. It was embarrassing, humiliating, demeaning, (you come up with more words if you want, but I thought those three words were good ones). (Okay, I get it, I said I only had one more thing to talk about, I guess that was two, I wasn’t sure where I was going when I started this paragraph, so if I bored you, I apologize). Back to my main point: if I had difficulty with my math homework, I was on my own. I mean, I was on my own anyway because I lived with a single parent who worked late and didn’t have the time to help me with my homework, and I know there are plenty of you who have/had this same problem and totally get what I’m saying, so if you were in this situation, I’m sure plenty of you can relate to this paragraph and may even agree with this entire paragraph, but for those who can’t relate, this is just my childhood struggle and I hope you get where I’m coming from. I mean, some of you reading this editorial are math wizzes and have no connection with me here and I may even just be typing to myself at the moment, but I’m still sharing my perspective.

So, yeah, I’m going to let you go now. Just a few more things I have to say to you first before you can go about your life. I’m a pretty prolific blogger, I’ve done over sixty posts at the time of my typing this, and these B’ing editorials are not the only things I do. I do essays about topics such as mental illness since I’m bipolar. I write short stories. I haven’t done one recently, so I’m going to jump on that soon. I also have been known to write free-verse poetry (poetry with no rules, so I don’t have to rhyme or have to keep all my lines similar lengths or have a definitive structure or anything, which some of you might think is a cop out, but maybe you can compare this to epic poems, I’m just not epic). I am a huge Marvel comics fan and I write tons of reviews of graphic novel trade paperbacks, Marvel prose novels, and Marvel comic events, so if you like Marvel you should totally look into reading those. And that’s just some of the things I do, I have plenty of content to post, so if you liked this, totally come back. If you found this post on Twitter, totally follow me, retweet this post, comment, whatever you can do on Twitter (I only use Twitter for self-promotion so I’m totally not up to date on the features). Feel free to comment on this blog page if you can. If you’re on Facebook, I’d love it if you’d share this link (since if you’re reading this on Facebook you personally know me or friended me on a group page, but if this interests you and you think your friends would like this post, totally spread the word). Do whatever, but I’d appreciate it if you get me out there. So, yeah, that’s it for now, so I finish with the three words (and you’ll know them if you’ve ever read something I’ve written before): Tim Cubbin… out!