B'ings: Must Watch/Can't Miss

            Howdy, one and all! I welcome you to From the Mind of One Tim Cubbin! I’m your guide, Tim Cubbin!

            Okay, you have noticed that this post is called “B’ings: Must Watch/Can’t Miss!” For those of you who have never been to this blog before and/or have never read one of my B’ings before, I’ll explain (and if you fit those qualifications, I have no idea how you are here, this has to have been my weakest tags in my entire blogging career, so I will tell you, you are THE BEST!). I keep this blog G-Rated, so B’ing is a shorter version of a word I refuse to use for a blog title. There is absolutely no significance for a B’ing, it’s just me complaining pointlessly for the time it takes me to write this post. What can I say but I’m very opinionated and I like to complain. Speaking of opinions, newbies, a B’ing is all MY opinion. I totally DO NOT expect you to agree with me. I respect that YOU have YOUR OWN opinions. So if you’re reading my blathering, you are THE BEST! I appreciate you. I appreciate all my readers. I know I have several regulars who love my work and keep coming back, and I have family and personal friends who read out of obligation to me, but if you don’t fit either of those billings, again, you are THE BEST! Okay, I think that’s enough thanking you for a few paragraphs, let’s just get to my pointless point.

            Who here watches television? (If you say yes, I can’t hear you, so you probably shouldn’t say “yes” out loud, just think it and let’s go to my next question). Who here watches commercials on television? (I think I’ve just lost 90% of the people who thought yes to my last question, but that question is actually more important than the first, so we might have a hiccup there, but I hope you’ll please just keep reading anyway.) If you mentally said yes to question two, that’s great. Now we have another question: Who here has ever seen a commercial on television that advertises a television show or film? (If you say yes to that, then we’re perfect on this front.) Final question: Who here has ever seen a commercial on television that advertises a television show or film that claims a television show or film is a “must watch” or “can’t miss” or has the word “everyone” in it? (If you can say yes to this question, we’re golden, you’ll actually see where I’m coming from). Okay, say we have a commercial advertising a new television show coming up and say it’s a “must watch” show, or an upcoming movie the announcer says it’s a “can’t miss.” So I have to watch it? So I have to see it? What happens if I don’t? What if when the show airs I don’t turn it on, or don’t DVR it, or watch something else in the same time slot, or don’t go to On Demand or Hulu to watch it if I don’t watch it when it first airs? What if I say that this “can’t miss” film is something I don’t want to see and don’t pay the extravagant ticket price, or I don’t buy the DVD, Blu-ray, Digital Copy, or if I don’t watch it on streaming or television?  What’s going to happen? Will the world end? Will I die? What dire consequences will occur since I decide not to watch it or see it? Why is it imperative to watch or see it? Am I going to be demoted in social standing, or have bad luck, or have something unspeakable happen to the important people in my life? Am I now branded lesser? Will my friends or family shun me? What’s so essential that I have to watch or see it? HONESTLY? WHAT? In my honest opinion, the worst that can happen is I can’t join in the conversation of the show/film, and if I don’t want to watch/see it, why is that of any consequence? WHY? WHYYY? (Okay, that was a tad dramatic, but I just had to sell it.) And in some commercials, they say things like “everyone’s talking about…” So, I’m not everyone? Am I a horrible creature or amoeba or lesser being for not viewing the show/film? I don’t think so. And could someone PLEASE tell me what “Rotten Tomatoes” or “Certified Fresh” even means? (Honestly, leave a comment explaining it if you know what it means, I really want to know.) Why are all these claims important? Why are these baseless taglines put in commercials? They are just not true!

            So let’s get to our conclusion. You might now be wondering “Why did I just waste the past few minutes of my time reading this drivel?” If you are, I honestly don’t blame you. I mean, there’s absolutely NO POINT to what I just wrote. But if you actually read this pointless drivel, then you are THE BEST! You actually stayed to read this whole thing! THANK YOU SO MUCH! But maybe you think that I have a point? Maybe you’ve thought about this the way I have? Maybe you’re thinking “Gee, I never thought of that before. Tim Cubbin is right.” (Okay, honestly I doubt you’re thinking I’m right, but I’m trying to sell this.) But some of you may actually agree with me on this one. If you do, you, gentle reader, are THE BEST! But, like I said at the start of this editorial, I’m just pointlessly complaining. You have your own opinions, this is just mine, I can’t expect you to have even gotten ANYTHING out of our past few minutes together, but whatever. It is what it is. Anyway, if you, by some odd chance, enjoyed this, I have had plenty of other pointless rants you can check out, as well as essays about mental illness (which actually do have a point). I’m a huge Marvel Comics fan and I write tons of reviews about Marvel graphic and prose novels. I’m a writer, I write short fiction and nonfiction and poetry. I’ve done so much for this blog, maybe you’ll find something you’ll enjoy. As for all this, you can React, Comment, Retweet, Share, Follow, whatever you want to do on this site, and I’ll be back. I have three more words to finish this editorial off: Tim Cubbin… out!