B'ings: Organic Food

            Hey, all, welcome to another of my B’ings! What’s a B’ing you ask? Add a few letters in between, use your imagination, realize I’m being polite. Got it now? If you don’t have it, I pity you.

            Anyway, today I’m going to B’ing about organic foods, but you read the title so hopefully you already know it’s the topic. If you didn’t, I pity you.

            Okay, so you always hear about organic foods. You see the ads, you go to the store, you see the foods. And they cost more. So you’re adding the word “organic” as a reason to make you think you’re getting something better to justify slapping a higher price tag to food? BUT, here’s where, for me, it gets worse. They say “organic chicken.” Whoa, whoa, whoa! Are you saying the other brands of chicken aren’t organic? Now, let’s explore that. We have chickens clucking and walking around farms. Let’s look at science. Chickens are living creatures, or organisms. Organisms are living things. These dead chicken that you’re buying at stores were, at one point, living organisms. Doesn’t that automatically, by definition, by science, by whatever, make it mean chickens were organic before you bought your dead bodies? I mean, yeah we have chicken that aren’t chicken that are made of plants, but if you want the meat, don’t you want an ORGANIC chicken? Do you want INORGANIC chicken? If I want to buy chicken for consumption, I want ORGANIC chicken? Otherwise… IT’S NOT CHICKEN! I mean, here’s where they rook you. I get “organic” chicken are raised on a “special diet,” but how does that make it “organic chicken?” All meat chicken were at one point organic. So you’re slapping the word “organic” to something that was ALREADY organic so you can sell it to people who want it to be “special?” Chicken is chicken! A living ORGANISM! I DO NOT find that justifiable! And how can they PROVE it was fed the special diet? They can SAY it, anyone can SAY it. If I wanted “organic chicken” at a special price, I’m not going to a farm to WATCH them feed the chickens the special diet and then sticking their dead bodies in the meat section of the store. I’m not THERE! And neither are you! So I just have to take it on an honor system… and the human race are not a very honorable species, especially stores who want to charge extra on “organic chicken” that was, by definition, ALREADY ORGANIC! Okay, I get it, I’m being redundant, but this is just to prove my point to you further.

            And we have other foods that follow this, like beef, from grass fed cows. You let a cow into a field, it’s going to eat grass. THAT’S WHAT COWS DO! So a cow eats grass and nothing else, why is it specifically “organic?”

            Oh, and my favorite example: organic vegetables. NO ONE WANTS TO EAT INORGANIC VEGETABLES! HOW is a vegetable SPECIFICALLY organic? You want to give me inorganic veggies, ew… just, ew?

            So what is food not labeled as organic? The only other option is synthetic. AND STORES DON’T SELL SYNTHETIC FOODS! NO ONE WANTS TO EAT SYNTHETIC FOODS! I mean, what is wrong with this?

            Alright, I feel I’ve established my opinion on “organic foods” quite clearly. You get it, I know. I’ve just proved my point. And I hope I gave you something to think about. You might not AGREE with what I’ve said, but it’s my opinion and I hope you’ve taken this in and UNDERSTAND what I’ve said. And I used a LOT of capitals! I was a journalism student. You know what they call that in journalism? “Flaming.” Just a little fact. So I apparently flame. A lot. And don’t try to make that unsavory, by the way. I know you want to. But it’s not. Unsavory. So keep coming to my blog. I’ve got more reviews, editorials, short stories, poetry, and of course B’ings lined up, so there’s plenty more to read. So I leave you with… Tim Cubbin, out! 

"Captain America: The Coming of... The Falcon" by Stan Lee, Roy Thomas, and Marie Severin

 

            This is a review of the Marvel graphic novel, “Captain America: The Coming of… The Falcon” written by Stan Lee, Roy Thomas and Marie Severin.

            Some of you have read this blog before and know I review graphic novels in as concise and cohesive style. I have a little trouble with this graphic novel review as there were several different stories contained in this book, so I’ll instead talk about the characters and their stories rather than as a narrative.

            Obviously this is a Captain America book, so we have Steve Rogers/Captain America. For those unfamiliar with Cap’s history (and this was NOT contained in this book, but I’m giving this anyway to clear this up for those living under a rock), Steve Rogers was a frail, sickly kid who wanted to join the army to fight in World War II, but was denied because, like I said, he was frail and sickly. He joined a super soldier program and was made into Captain America and could fight in the war. At the end of the War, Cap and his sidekick James “Bucky” Barnes were thought killed in action, but Cap was frozen in ice for twenty years, and was found by the Avengers and was revived and joined the team of costumed adventurers. Okay, we got that out of the way.

            We also had Agent 13/Sharon Carter, who in most stories is the niece of Cap’s love interest Peggy Carter during WWII, but in this original story she was described as Peggy’s sister (I honestly don’t know why they changed this, but obviously the future writers didn’t side with Stan in his own story).

            Cap’s main nemesis is the Red Skull, a Nazi remnant who is bent on world domination. He was prominent in this graphic novel, doing heinous crimes against Cap, including a body swap with the power of the Cosmic Cube, a device that does pretty much everything the holder wants, so yeah, we clearly did not want that happening… but it did.

            Another villain featured in this graphic novel is Batroc (the Leaper), but he really didn’t have all that much of a story, just was there to have Cap kick his backside in a rather gratuitous subplot.

            Another story featured T’Challa/Black Panther, again, not really there for all that much of a reason.

            We also had a teenage boy named Rick Jones who tried to be a replacement for Bucky as Cap’s sidekick, but was very easily discouraged in this role, particularly after the body switch. He even wore the same costume as Bucky from WWII, which I feel essentially painted a target on his back.

            And now, we’re going to talk (last and not least) about Sam Wilson/Falcon. Okay, if all you know of the Falcon is from the Marvel Cinematic Universe, throw that away as Falcon’s portrayal in the graphic novel is nothing like on the screen. First off, Falcon was NOT in the military. He did NOT originally have wings. He actually has the power to communicate with birds, particularly a falcon named Redwing and THAT is why he was called the Falcon originally. I said before that Cap and the Red Skull had switched bodies a few paragraphs ago, to let’s revisit that because it was the whole focus of Falcon’s storyline. Okay, well, if you go to the Marvel Cinematic Universe, the Red Skull’s red skull was ACTUALLY his face. In this graphic novel, the red skull is a mask. The Red Skull really ticked off a group of who were originally his loyalists who came to be called the Exiles because Skull left them stranded on an island. Again, body switching and Cap/Red Skull was now a target of the Exiles’ rage and they wanted him dead. This island was actually the home of Sam Wilson (conveniently). Cap removed the mask, used clay to change his features, and trained Sam to become the Falcon. The two then teamed up to battle the Skull, who in Cap’s body tried to ruin Cap’s good reputation, but it was actually Advanced Idea Mechanics (A.I.M.) who were able to nullify the Cosmic Cube.

            Okay, this is actually becoming a pretty good synopsis of the book after all. There was a point where Steve wanted to cover up his identity as Captain America. The whole world knew that Steve Rogers is Captain America. Steve actually faked his own death as Steve Rogers so no one now knows Steve Rogers and Captain America are actually the same person.

            Okay, you’ve stuck with me this far, so now to the important part: my review. My regulars know how this works, but for you first-timers, I give three points: my opinion, the accessibility (what you need to know prior to the book before reading it), and of course, my number score. I actually rather enjoyed the book for what it was. Yes Stan always wrote corny stories, and yet they were actually still good stories. BUT! And there is a HUGE but here! I felt as “The Coming of… the Falcon” there was a major fail. There were twenty-five issues in this book, and yet Falcon was only in three issues. Also, the inclusion of two issues of a satire comic called “Not Brand Echh” was not needed. This actually took away just a wee bit of enjoyment out of this book.

            Okay, now for accessibility. I have very rarely said this (in fact, I’m not sure if I’ve ever actually said this), ANYONE can understand this book, even if you know nothing about Cap or have never even touched a Marvel comic book before. BUT! Another but! Knowing about Cap only from the Marvel Cinematic Universe does actually cause a minor hiccup. The history is slightly different (as I have described) and may off-put you very slightly, but just go with it, it’s easy enough to get past. Just get used to Nick Fury being white.

            Finally, the moment you have been waiting for as I drone on: my number score. It’s on a scale of one to ten. One being this book is garbage (stay away), ten being this book is awesome and I recommend it to you. As a whole, from everything I previously described, I score it an eight. BUT! As “The Coming of… the Falcon” I give it a five. If you get this book hoping for a lot of Falcon, you would be TOTALLY disappointed. If you get it as a Captain America book or as a Stan Lee book, I think you would be satisfied. Some of you may know Stan was my personal hero. I wouldn’t be the man I am if not for all he did for the world of comics, cartoons, and movies, I might not even be alive if not for him. It was on my bucket list to meet him, which I never got the chance to do, but if we meet in the afterlife, I would not leave him alone. But that has nothing to do with my point of writing this review.

            Anyway, I think I’ll sign off for now, as I have droned on incessantly. Be sure to look out for more reviews and editorials as I have PLENTY lined up. Tell your friends about me, follow me on Twitter, spread the word, and till next time, Tim Cubbin… out!

"Spider-Man: The Clone Saga"

 

            The following is a review of the Marvel Comics Event “Spider-Man: The Clone Saga” as presented on Marvel Unlimited. This was a long, intricate and highly extensive collection of comics with many storylines, and as such, I will only discuss the major points and specific highlights that I enjoyed and find pertinent as this is my review.

            We’ll obviously have to start with a little background that took place behind the story to clarify a few of the details needed to fully understand this review. We’ll establish for the record that Peter Parker is the superhero Spider-Man. He was bitten by a radioactive spider and now has adhesive fingertips and toes, enhanced strength and agility, and a spider sense that warns him of personal danger. He also created web shooters. His parents died when Peter was a child and lived with his Aunt May and Uncle Ben. In his early days, he was only out for himself. He allowed a burglar to get by, and that same burglar broke into Peter’s house and killed his Uncle Ben. He then became a superhero because he learned the invaluable lesson that with great power there must also come great responsibility. He found out he had a clone, whom he battled and thought dead when the clone fell into a smokestack. But the clone didn’t die. Feeling like less of a man, he left New York (where Peter Parker lives) to establish his own life as Ben Reilly (named after his Uncle Ben and Aunt May, whose maiden name was Reilly) for five years. Ben had been hounded by a mysterious murderer named Kaine over these years, Kaine hating be for (well, that’d be a spoiler, some I’m going to stop there). What brought Ben back to New York was the news that Aunt May had a massive stroke and might not wake up or survive. That’s when Peter and Ben come face to face. Ben, establishing himself as not Peter and not Spider-Man did not want to be involved in the whole superhero shtick, but Ben also followed “with great power there must also come great responsibility” mantra and came to a rescue in a rather tacky costume. The Daily Bugle (the newspaper that Peter sold Spider-Man action pictures to) dubbed Ben “Scarlet Spider.” Ben hated that name, but you know how newspapers force names upon you, so he really at that point had to roll with it.

            Okay, that’s a good point to separate from now. “The Clone Saga” then divided stories up. At the time there were five major Spider-Man titles, so two of the titles originally followed Peter Parker, two originally followed Ben Reilly, and one originally featured Spider-Man and Scarlet Spider.

This, not surprisingly, led me to quite some discord. Having all the different writers involved in the whole event telling all the different storylines went quite wonky, and some of the artists did not appeal to my eyes. There were also several times where other superhero titles were added to coincide with Peter and Ben’s storylines, such as the New Warriors (a team I actually know little about, surprisingly), as well as one-shots and limited series. As they say, there’s no pleasing everyone (is there that saying or something like that, and if it isn’t, it totally should be and I will take the credit?). There was also a three-part limited series called “Funeral for an Octopus” (spoiler alert, Doctor Octopus is killed by Kaine) and five one-shots containing the story “Planet of the Symbiotes.”

I think now would also be a good time to tell you a little about the stories involving Peter Parker’s wife, Mary Jane Parker. The first is that she’s pregnant. Now, Peter having irradiated blood immediately brings concern as to what this could potentially do to Peter and Mary Jane’s baby. Fortunately, Ben knows a geneticist name Seward Trainer, the two do have history of working together, so Seward knows Ben’s need for discretion. We’ll get back to that because this yields something very important. Kaine has followed Ben to New York having had visions of Mary Jane’s death, which is possibly precognitive.

            Okay, now back to that point I left hanging. There is now a discovery that Peter Parker may not be the real “Peter Parker” but a clone of the man who has gone by the name “Ben Reilly” for the past five years. In other words, Peter might be a clone of Ben. Or there’s now the possibility that neither of them is the real “Peter Parker” and both Peter and Ben are clones.

Now, I stated there were several storylines, so let’s talk about my favorites and least favorites. I can’t honestly remember every story’s title, so I’ll just discuss events. First off, I loved the first story, where a mysterious man called Judas Traveller lures Peter and Ben to Ravencroft Institution (essentially a prison for crazy supervillains who can’t be held in a regular prison or mental hospital because of their powers) and threatens to either blow the place up or release all the patients (make your choice). I also liked the story of the trial of Peter Parker. Kaine has now framed Peter Parker for murder, to which Ben decides to stay in lockup while Peter as Spider-Man tries to clear Peter’s good name. I also enjoyed the planet of the symbiotes. I always love a good symbiote story, and Carnage is my all-time favorite supervillain, so a clone story with him was a total treat.

Okay, early on, I hated how Peter behaved. Now some people are familiar to “Spider-Man no more.” Now we were essentially presented with “Peter Parker no more,” which just did not appeal to me. I also disliked the story where the Vulture poisoned Peter Parker and Peter had to team up with Doctor Octopus to save Peter’s life, and then for his trouble Doc Ock is killed by Kaine. As a side note, Doc Ock had a girlfriend called Stunner, and this relationship made no sense to me, and maybe not even to you if you read this too. I also thought the outcome of Ben’s first encounter with Venom was wrong as Peter always had difficulty beating Venom and here Ben kicks Venom’s butt way too easily.

Okay, I know you now want my rating. If you’ve read me before, you know I discuss my opinions of the story (which I literally just did), then accessibility (if you don’t know what I mean, just keep reading) and a numerical score (one to ten, one being so awful I regret I ever read this, ten being I will totally read again). I always hate to give a low accessibility ranking, but this definitely has it. Intimate knowledge of Spider-Man is required to understand this. If you are a casual Spidey fan and thinks this sounds great and want to read it, your best bet is to get Disney + and watch the Spider-Man animated series from the 90s. That was totally the series that got me into Spider-Man in the first place and is totally amazing, spectacular, whatever other Spidey adjective you want to tack to it. I’m thirty-three and still watch cartoons (make fun if you must), but honestly anyone any age could find something to like about it. If you watch it, you’d totally understand this story, but it’s sixty-five episodes and some people just don’t have the time. Honestly if all you know of Spider-Man is from the movies, this is not for you (and I hate deterring people from reading anything I review based on that, but I have to do it). Alright, the moment you’ve been waiting for for the past however long it is you’ve been reading this: my number score! I’m going to stick this down the middle and give it a five because there were parts I liked and parts I disliked, and lumping the whole reading list together as an event, while an amazing attempt was a little scattered, and the ending leaves much more to be desired because you will read this and still feel this is only half of the story (I’m not going to spoil the reason why, but you will).

Well, I guess this’ll be all for now, but I’ve got plenty more reviews, editorials and B’ings planned (and if you don’t know what a B’ing is, totally read more of my blog as I put a lot of work into this), so I’m just going to say: Tim Cubbin… out!

"Guardians of the Galaxy: Collect Them All" by Corinne Duyvis

 

            The following is a review of the prose novel “Guardians of the Galaxy: Collect Them All” by Corinne Duyvis.

            If you know nothing about the Guardians of the Galaxy, I’ll explain them briefly of you’ll have no idea what I’m talking about (and I don’t want to chase you out of this post), but then again, even then you still might not know what I’m talking about, but whatever.

            Peter Quill, son of an earth woman and an alien emperor.

            Drax, the Destroyer.

            Gamora, the Deadliest woman in the galaxy, last surviving Zen-Whoberian.

            Groot, a Flora-Colossus, a walking, talking tree.

            Rocket the Raccoon, a talking raccoon (obviously).

            The titular point of this novel was about Groot. Groot is a living tree (all he can say is “I” “am” “Groot” exclusively in that order [yes, I took that from the movie, for those keeping score]), who is only supposed to exist one at a time. His essence is one. He is able to survive being destroyed, but if one piece of him is planted, he will regrow from that piece, but this only works on one piece, there can only be one Groot.

            At least that’s how it’s supposed to be. The Guardians encounter Tanaleer Tivan, known throughout the galaxy as the Collector (because yeah, he collects rare things) and find something rather unusual: he has been in possession of another Flora-Colossus who can only say “I” “am” “Groot,” exclusively in that order. The Guardians find out Groot has been regrown by Tivan and there are now Grootlings. The Grootlings are being sold out as a commodity. The seller is a mysterious woman named Kiya, a DiMavi, who was an assistant of Tivan.

            Except for two things. Kiya is not a DiMavi, but actually a Zen-Whoberian, and she had not been Tivan’s assistant, but his prisoner. Gamora is not the last of her species after all. She had escaped from Tivan with the Grootling and replicated him. On a side note, Tivan was also in possession of raccoons and was basically making a bootleg team of the Guardians of the Galaxy.

            The Guardians come into contact with Kiya and take her in to protect her from Tivan as she is the only one who understands the Grootlings. As it turns out, each Grootling is making the main Groot weaker and weaker and is killing him the longer they are cloned and go on to exist. So now the Guardians are trying to collect all the Grootlings to save their Groot’s life.

            The Guardians also learn that a celebration of peace between the DiMavi and Kree is meant to be disrupted by a poisonous Grootling and ruin this peace, and rush to DiMave to prevent this terrorist attack.

            Now for my review. For those who have never read one of my reviews before, I do several things; One: how I feel about the novel; Two: the accessibility of the novel to people with little to no experience of the characters or history of the characters; and three, my numerical rating on a scale of one to ten (one being so awful I regret reading this, ten being this book was so awesome I want to read this again at least one more time).

            This novel had three primary, interwoven storylines. In a prose novel, I really look for one or two primary focal points. In a graphic novel, several storylines are fairly acceptable as long as they don’t forget each other. The Kiya storyline was my favorite, I was so interested in the character. Duyvis thoroughly developed and expanded her story, her history as a prisoner of Tivan, who had been experimented on, how she bonded with the Guardians and particularly Gamora, being of the same species, and I was extremely satisfied with the payoff of her character at the end. However, the story of the Grootlings really wasn’t all that pleasing to me (despite being the titular story). When it comes down to it, the Guardians should have had a lot harder time finding the Grootlings. I mean, come on, how could they know how many there were and be able to track them down? I mean, Kiya knew her buyers, but how did she know they didn’t change hands, such as being a gift to a child (which actually did happen over the course of the novel, so why am I asking)? It just seemed too easy to me. And the terrorist attack didn’t really seem to be as necessary as it was portrayed. It just kind of distracted me. If it had been played down and not been a major focus, I might have enjoyed the story better. And on top of it all, half of all the dialogue was practically “I am Groot.” It was just said over and over again and got to be extremely annoying.

            Now to the accessibility. I do not think it was an accessible book to people who know nothing about the Guardians of the Galaxy, so if you read this review out of obligation to me and that’s your only reason for reading this, I highly do not recommend it. In fact, if your knowledge of the Guardians is just the Marvel Cinematic Universe, it’s not all accessible to you, either. Most of these alien races were not represented in the films, and the character history is vastly contrary to the Marvel Cinematic Universe. This is not an extension, it is a whole different Universe. To digest this novel to its fullest, I feel some background knowledge of the “Guardians        of the Galaxy” comic books is preferable. I’m not saying you need to read twenty years’ worth of comics, but maybe a couple of graphic novels under your belt would help. But again, my word is “preferable.”

            Okay, now, finally, my score. After all these words, I don’t think I totally have to explain my score because I’ve been writing this review for twenty-three minutes now, so I’ll just rate it and be done with it. I rate this with a four. Do I regret reading this? No. Would I read this book again? Probably not. But hey, that’s just me. If you’re a heavy “Guardians of the Galaxy” fan, read this book. You might have a different opinion than me. Now, let’s clear this up; I didn’t hate or dislike this book. I did like and enjoy it, but still I give it a four. Another thing I did not mention until now was that this book was an easy read. Perhaps a little too easy. The chapters were extremely short, which some people like, and I personally liked that myself. It wasn’t a heavy book. Some books have fifty page chapters, which can be very daunting. The chapter lengths being short were extremely digestible and I wasn’t afraid to really get into this book.

            So all has been said and done, I think that’s all I have to say for now, except for: Tim Cubbin… out!

"Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone" by J.K. Rowling

 

            The following is a review of the NOVEL “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone” by J.K. Rowling and NOT the feature film (I am in the United States of America and am aware that any of you reading this review in another country probably know this as “Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone” because for some reason Scholastic felt that “Philosopher” wouldn’t be as catchy as “Sorcerer” in my home country).

            Anyway, I know this novel was published in 1997 and probably 75% of today’s children have at least SEEN the MOVIE, and 33% of today’s children have read the book, so y’all probably know the story, but I’ve been on a reading binge and read the book (in all seriousness) about forty-seven times and reviewing a lot of what I read, so here we are, and if you’re reading this, seriously, thank you for giving me this chance to review the novel!

            Okay, we’re going to go over this with spoilers, so if you haven’t read the book or seen the film yet, I’d advise you to stop reading this (we’ll get to my personal thoughts towards the end of this review, so bear with me here).

            Harry Potter is not your ordinary ten-year-old. Odd things happen when he gets emotional. If he gets chased in school, he ends up on the school roof. If he gets a bad haircut, his hair grows back overnight. If he gets mad at a zoo, he sets a python free (which he can actually communicate with). Of course, he thinks all these things are just coincidences. His parents were killed in what he believes was a car crash and was left with his despicable Uncle Vernon, Aunt Petunia, and Cousin Dudley. He is treated like garbage and is forced to live in a cupboard under the stairs of the family house.

            One day, Harry is forced to fortuitously bring in the mail. As he does, he sees a letter addressed to him, precisely to “The Cupboard Under the Stairs,” and makes the fool mistake to try to open it in front of his family. His Uncle Vernon is able to intercept it before Harry can open it, shows it to Aunt Petunia and the two spaz out (does anyone say “spaz” anymore? If not, say another word like “freak”). Uncle Vernon destroys the letter hoping this will settle things. More letters come to “The Cupboard Under the Stairs,” so he is reluctantly moved to Dudley’s spare room. Still letters come in all different ways while Uncle Vernon tries to quell this problem, so his solution is to run away to escape the letters, which doesn’t really work. On Harry’s eleventh birthday, Rubeus Hagrid arrives at a cottage on the sea and informs Harry the odd happenings are because Harry is a wizard. His parents actually died protecting Harry from the dark wizard Voldemort, who then tried to kill Harry. He miraculously not only survived but repelled Voldemort, almost destroying him (I’m not going to use the word “killing” because that just does not describe what happened, but we’ll get to that more in a few paragraphs), with the memento of a lightning bolt shaped scar on his forehead. Harry also finds out he has been accepted to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

            Harry is brought to Diagon Alley to shop for his school supplies and is introduced to the wizard world, finds out he is famous, and visits Gringott’s, the wizard bank and sees Hagrid take a mysterious package from a secure vault for the Headmaster of Hogwarts, Professor Albus Dumbledore (a vault which will be broken into AFTER the package is removed).

            A few weeks later, Harry is brought to King’s Cross Station to take the Hogwarts Express from Platform Nine and Three-Quarters, but it seems to not exist (which Uncle Vernon relishes as a way to ditch Harry). Harry then meets the Weasley family; Ron, Fred, George, and Percy who are all going to Hogwarts with Harry. Harry befriends Ron on the train, and they arrive at the massive castle which is the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. They also meet Hermione Grainger, who they immediately dislike as a snobby know-it-all. They meet the boy Draco Malfoy, who becomes Harry’s rival at Hogwarts. Upon arrival, they are sorted into a house that will be their home in the castle outside of class (Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw or Slytherin). Harry, Ron and Hermione are all sorted in Gryffindor. They begin classes like History of Magic with Professor Binns; Transfiguration with Professor McGonagall; Charms with Professor Flitwick; Defense Against the Dark Arts with Professor Quirrell; Herbology with Professor Sprout; flying with Madame Hooch; and Potions with Professor Snape, who takes an immediate dislike to Harry due to the history of Snape and Harry’s father.

            Harry is selected as Seeker to Gryffindor’s Quidditch team after displaying remarkable flying talent.

            On Halloween, a troll is let into Hogwarts. Harry and Ron come to Hermione’s rescue and the three finally become best friends. They find out about a three-headed dog named Fluffy who guards a trapdoor in the Third Hall Corridor (which is supposed to be forbidden).

            Hermione goes on to save Harry’s life during a Quidditch match where a curse is cast seemingly be Professor Snape.

            At Christmas, Harry is given his father’s Invisibility Cloak, which aids them in their nighttime wanderings around Hogwarts. They learn of Nicolas Flamel, who created the Sorcerer’s/Philosopher’s Stone, which produces the Elixir of Life which prolongs one’s life (obviously) and deduce the Stone is what Fluffy is guarding. The protagonists believe Snape wishes to steal the stone for himself (and later Voldemort). Harry also discovers the Mirror of Erised, which shows one’s deepest desire (as Erised desire is a palindrome).

            Hagrid receives a dragon egg from a stranger in a card game at the Three Broomsticks in Hogsmead, which hatches into Norbert the Norwegian Ridgeback, who is taken off by friends of Ron’s other brother Charlie, who is studying dragons in Romania, having been a Hogwarts graduate. Harry, Hermione, bumbler Neville Longbottom, and Malfoy are busted and sent to detention with Hagrid in the Forbidden Forest, where a unicorn is killed. A unicorn’s blood prolongs one’s life, but also curses them. Harry sees a figure (who turns out to be Voldemort) in the Forest, assumes it to be helping Snape, and the Heroes learn the Stone is protected by an enchantment from each Hogwarts teacher. The three attempt to find the Stone before it is stolen and given to Voldemort to return him to life. They sneak through the trapdoor, beat the enchantments, and Harry finds that the one who wants the Stone is not actually Snape, but Professor Quirrell. Quirrel now shares a body with Voldemort. The Mirror of Erised gives Harry the Stone, and the power of Harry’s mother’s love protects Harry from Quirrell/Voldemort. The Stone is recovered and destroyed, and Harry survives the experience, awaiting his next encounter with Voldemort.

            The competition between the Hogwarts Houses for the House Cup is supposedly going to Slytherin, but points are awarded for Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Neville for all their work protecting the Stone, and Gryffindor wins the House Cup. Hagrid obtains wizard photos from friends of Harry’s family and presents Harry with a book of photos of his parents in their younger years. The students then take the Hogwarts Express back to their homes for the summer to prepare for their next year at Hogwarts.

            Okay, complete synopsis out of the way, there are a few things I wish to discuss further. The first being Harry’s rule-breaking. Harry breaks the rules at Hogwarts many times, and is yet awarded each time. A spot as Seeker of the Gryffindor Quidditch team after flying and catching Neville’s flung Remembrall, when the students are told to remain on the ground or they will be expelled from Hogwarts before they can say “Quidditch.” Harry flew and was rewarded rather than expelled. And the points Harry, Ron, Hermione and Neville receive at the end for their work in protecting and obtaining the Stone were all given for breaking the rules and beating Slytherin for Gryffindor were all given for stupid reasons such as the best played game of chess, cleverness, courage, and standing up to one’s friends, which really should NOT HAVE BEEN AWARDED! Expulsion would be enacted at a REAL school, but convenience of a hero protagonist has to be taken into consideration.

            Now the point you’ve been waiting for, after reading this review as long as you have: my score. Well, this isn’t my absolute favorite Harry Potter book, but it ranks pretty high in my favorites list. Now, my ratings run from one to ten. One means “STAY AWAY!” Ten means “If I personally know you, I will NOT SHUT UP UNTIL YOU READ THIS BOOK!” I rate this at an eight. I enjoyed this book thoroughly and have reread this book forty-some-odd times and always pick up something new each time, so it never seems a chore to read this book (but it is the shortest Harry Potter book). I’m going to tell you that if you’ve never seen the movie, and it doesn’t go against your religion, I totally recommend it to you for your viewing pleasure. And if you love the movie and actually like reading, totally read the book. Now I know I just spoiled the entire story, but what I gave was really just the skeleton of the book, there’s still plenty of muscle and skin left, so if you like this review, watch the movie, read the book, somehow take it in as you will probably not be disappointed by the actual thing.

            Now I know I’ve gone on for like, twenty minutes, but if you reached this point, THANK YOU SO MUCH! You can expect many more reviews on this blog, more of my B’ings series, more editorials, short stories, poems, I’ll have so much for you soon!

            For now, Tim Cubbin… out!

B'ings: Misleading Sales

 

            Tim Cubbin, here, ready for another B’ing! Don’t know what a B’ing is because you’ve never read one before? Take B, then add four letters, then add ing! If you still don’t get it, there’s little hope you’ll fully appreciate what I’m doing here, but, oh, well, let’s get started anyway and you may figure it out as you read this.

            Today, I’m going to talk about sales. You know, as in, sales at stores? Okay, let’s start with Fourth of July sales at car dealerships. I’m using this example because in the United States of America it was just Independence Day. Another thing to point out; I hate when people say “Fourth of July.” It just doesn’t sound like anything special. Like, say, “Eighteenth of February.” Same idea, but does it sound special? No. And it’s only a holiday in the United States, so it means nothing in any other country. Call it “Independence Day,” it sounds so much better. Okay, I go off topic, but I just had to go there. Back to Fourth of July sales at car dealerships. They run, from, like, June thirteenth to July seventeenth (this is a rough estimation, so really, don’t quote me on it). Now, they call it a “Fourth of July” sale. It’s a day. ONE day. You say “Fourth of July?” But you run it for a whole bloody month. “Fourth of July.” I would think the sale SHOULD be ONE day! So misleading. Plus, doing it one day, you would have, like, HUNDREDS of people coming in because it’s a one day sale and the urgency is very increased. I dunno of you feel the same, but you’re entitled to your opinion as I am entitled to mine.

            Let’s go to another type of sale. I think it’s Kohl’s who have a one day sale, but it might be that, but there are several stores who do that. Now, you watch the commercials on the telly that say “Our one day sale Saturday, with a preview day Friday” for a random example. It’s like, okay, we have a one day sale on Saturday and a preview day Friday. WAIT! That means the ONE day sale is TWO days! Then by definition, it’s a TWO day sale if it runs over TWO days! CALL IT WHAT IT IS! TWO DAY SALE! C’mon people!

            Or take Shop Rite’s Can Can Sale. The song is about “Everything thing in Can Cans!” But you go to the frozen foods aisle (I dunno, that’s a totally random example, don’t quote me on this) and there’s a sale on frozen peas. Frozen peas are NOT in a can! “Can Can?” NOPE! Or go to the alcohol aisle and see a six-pack of Budweiser cans. But there’s no sale on it. Hey, that’s in a can! But “EVERYTHING in can cans?” It’s in a CAN, but it’s NOT on SALE? What is the deal with that?

            Well, if you’re here now, thanks for reading this whole thing through, you like me, you really like me (I know, corny). I hope I gave you some food for thought (that didn’t come in a can) and you see my point and understand it, but if you’re here and don’t agree with my thoughts, you’re entitled to your opinion, I’m entitled to my opinion. I have plenty more concepts planned, including more B’ings and book reviews, so please, come back to “From the Mind of One Tim Cubbin,” I’m Tim Cubbin, so… out!

"The New Mutants: Renewal" by Chris Claremont and Bill Mantlo

 

            This is a review of the graphic novel “The New Mutants: Renewal” by Chris Claremont and Bill Mantlo. This review does not have anything to do with “The New Mutants” film.

            This book was about the formation and early and early adventures of the team The New Mutants. I feel that a brief description of the characters will enhance this review to people unfamiliar with The New Mutants, not knowing the characters or storylines and mostly only reading this out of obligation of me and this blog.

            Xi’an Coy Manh/Karma. Powers: Mental possession.

            Rahne Sinclair/Wolfsbane. Powers: Metamorphosis from human to lupine form.

            Danielle Moonstar/Psyche. Powers: Able to mentally projects a person’s deepest fears or desires.

            Samuel Guthrie/Cannonball. Powers: Ability to transform into an invulnerable projectile.

            Roberto DaCosta/Sunspot. Powers: Ability to draw energy from the sun which gives him super strength.

            Amara Aquilla/Magma. Powers: Geokinesis and control over fire and magma.

            Illyana Rasputin. Powers: Sorcery.

            Charles Xavier/Professor X. Powers: Telepathy and mind control.

            The story begins when geneticist Moira McTaggert brings her charge Rahne Sinclair to Charles Xavier. Xavier was the mentor to the mutant team the Uncanny X-Men, who have disappeared and pronounced dead. A mutant is a person with powers caused by a genetic mutation which usually emerge during puberty. Xavier has a device called Cerebro which can detect mutants. His base is his School for Gifted Youngsters where he taught mutants both scholastically and in the use of their mutant powers. Xavier is reluctant to take on any new students due to the danger it leaves to his students. Xi’an is discovered as a mental possessor and Xavier takes her in, giving her a job and a home. Dani is also discovered, the granddaughter of an acquaintance to Charles Xavier and also taken in after predicting the murder of her grandfather which comes to be. Roberto is discovered when he transforms during a soccer/football game. Sam’s powers emerge during a mine collapse where he saves himself and his supervisor by blasting out.

            A group called the Hellfire Club discover these newly empowered mutants as well as Xavier and attempt to capture and possibly destroy them. They use Sam as a pawn and convinces him that mutants must be destroyed. By circumstances, the young mutants are all gathered together, convince Sam of the Hellfire Club’s true mission and come together as a group. Reluctantly, Xavier accepts all the kids to his school, but refuses to call this new team X-Men out of his legacy to the original team. The kids are then dubbed “The New Mutants.”

            They do battles with foes such as the Sentinels, robots designed to kill mutants; the Brood, an alien species bent on universal domination; Viper/Madame Hydra; the Silver Samurai; and Selene Gallio, a mutant vampire who attempts eternal life by draining the life essence out of a person. The original X-Men are discovered alive when they return to the School. The New Mutants arrive in Nova Roma/New Rome, where the team discover Amara, a newly emerged mutant who takes on the codename Magma. The book also features the story of Illyana’s time in Limbo where she is held for seven years by the Demon Lord Belasco, but seconds pass between her entrapment and escape from the dimension.

            This book contained several storylines, what I described were mostly just my highlights. Now to the important parts, my scoring. First I’ll start with the ever important accessibility rating. If you go to read this book, you should be able to pick it up with little to know knowledge of any Marvel history pretty easily is this is the start of the series. If you saw “The New Mutants” film (and you were probably very disappointed) and want actually good stories, this is for you. The origins of the characters were clearly displayed in this book, and the book is labeled Volume 1, so, yeah, you can start your introductions to the characters with ease. I thoroughly enjoyed the book, which was mostly written by Chris Claremont, who is a favorite writer of mine. He was definitely on top of his game here. I’m a fan of the current “New Mutants” comic book series, and this was actually quite a good bit better. The history was assembled well. I do complain about the “Magik” limited series being included, as Illyana was not in any other part of the book and a flashback scene was featured from an issue not contained in this volume. Do I recommend this book to you? Absolutely. Now, what you’ve really been waiting for; my numerical score. For those who don’t know my system, the score is from one to ten, one being stay the heck away from this book, ten being go out and read this because I will not shut up talking about it and you will, too, I give it a nine. Again, “Magik” didn’t feel appropriate in this volume and I might have given this book a ten if it wasn’t actually included in it. Another factor in lowering the score is not including “The Uncanny X-Men” issue titled “PROFESSOR XAVIER IS A JERK!” where Xavier tried to demote X-Man Kitty Pryde/Sprite to the New Mutants felt like an important piece was left out. Otherwise, I felt this was a rather good read.

            Now I leave you with my signoff: Tim Cubbin… out!