"Spider-Man: Kraven's Last Hunt" Graphic Novel/Prose Novel Comparison

 

            The following is a comparison piece based on the graphic novel “The Amazing Spider-Man: Kraven’s Last Hunt” by Fred Schiller, Ken McDonald, James C. Owsley, Peter David, David Michelinie, Jim Shooter, and J.M. DeMatteis and the prose novel “Spider-Man: Kraven’s Last Hunt” by Neil Kleid.

            Well, if you’re here, I hope you stay with me here for the rest of this piece, but if not, that’s up to you, I can’t stop you, but if you decide to stay, you are THE BEST!

            If you’re a regular, you might notice that this is a comparison piece, something I have never done before, but will definitely do again. This is to compare a graphic novel to a prose novel. The graphic novel was published from 1986-1987, the prose novel was published in 2014. It should be noted that the graphic novel I am using for this piece is a Marvel Epic Collection. “Kraven’s Last Hunt” was a six-part crossover storyline, but this version actually contained fifteen issues, so several of them were storylines around “Kraven’s Last Hunt.”

            Regular readers may also have noticed I made separate reviews of this story as a graphic novel and a prose novel, so if you’ve read those reviews, I hope you’ll enjoy this, if not, I hope you’ll enjoy this and read those reviews. Again, if you do, you are THE BEST!

            Note that this is a follow-up piece and not a review of the graphic and prose novels, so I won’t discuss all the details, just some consistencies between the two and major differences between the two.

            I will say that the “Kraven’s Last Hunt” graphic novel storyline was very much faithfully adapted in the prose novel. All the key points were there, but unfortunately there were just not quite as many as I would hope when reading both a graphic or prose novel. The filling between these key points were addressed rather differently in the prose novel when compared to the graphic novel. The graphic novel, being a comic book, both with words and art, filled the between points with artwork, while the prose novel logically filled the between points with written narrative. These between points felt too drawn out and dull to me, I felt the story just wasn’t strong enough. Giving a review just wasn’t as substantial as some of my other reviews in both graphic and prose narration.

            We’ll start with a consistency I fully appreciated. The story of Ned Leeds’s death, revelation of being the Hobgoblin, and funeral were contained in the graphic novel and copied faithfully in the prose novel. This detail might not have come up otherwise, but I mention this because this was not actually portrayed in the “Kraven’s Last Hunt” storyline in the graphic novel, rather contained in a storyline before the titular storyline. Its inclusion in the prose novel was of particular importance as the specter of Ned Leeds/Hobgoblin appeared at several key points in the narrative and progressed the story as Peter Parker/Spider-Man’s motivation.

            The prose novel also depicted Kraven’s family history as Russian aristocracy and nobility and the downfall of the Kravinoff legacy, which was not explored in as much detail in the graphic novel.

            Now, there was a huge, huge-huge-huge difference in a major characterization between the graphic and prose adaptations: Peter Parker’s relationship with Mary Jane Watson. In the graphic novel, Peter and MJ had just gotten married. In the prose novelization, however, Peter and MJ were in a slightly rocky dating relationship where Peter had only just told MJ he is Spider-Man. Now I’m going to make a speculation to Neil Kleid’s intentions. I felt Kleid thought a dating relationship with a recent unmasking was built on just how much MJ really loved Peter. MJ was a party animal, masking her pain of her estranged relationship with her sister and her abusive father. She also didn’t stay in romantic relationships for any true length of time. The dating relationship actually worked in the prose novelization to give MJ major conflict and added drama to the character, testing if she wanted to stay in a relationship in New York City where her boyfriend could be dead, or reinventing herself in a new place and go back to her deflecting life. The writers were all able to work their love story in an effective way that helped progress the story. I felt Kleid didn’t mutilate the story in his prose adaptation and worked it in without damaging the narrative between Peter Parker, Kraven the Hunter and Vermin.

            Another difference that I fully understand and support by Kleid’s adaptation was Spider-Man’s costume. In the graphic novel at the time in 1986-1987 was in the period where Peter Parker wore the black costume. However, Kleid’s adaptation described Spider-Man’s costume as red and blue, like Peter’s original and most oft worn costume. I feel this difference was Kleid’s way of keeping those who didn’t read the graphic novel able to properly imagine Spider-Man’s “true” costume. For me, this was difficult as I read the graphic novel before the prose novel and imagining the red and blue costume in this narrative while actually having a visualization of the black costume was a little bit of a struggle and made me miss a few lines in the book while I told my brain “red and blue.” I feel Kleid actually made the right call in this instance.

            Okay, now we’re going to do something new. Like I said, I’ve never done something like this before, so here’s how we’ll end a comparison: which one did I like better? Now, this is going to be a little bit tricky in this instance because of the graphic format I reviewed and compare being an Epic Collection. We’ll look at the graphic novel in two ways now: the graphic novel as a whole Epic Collection and then at the titular graphic storyline compared to the prose novelization. AS A WHOLE, I enjoyed the graphic novel more than the prose novel, mostly due to the surrounding stories of Spider-Man meeting the Iron Man of (ironically) 2015 (which, as we now know is inaccurate, but in 1986, 2015 was a far enough away future that the writer imagined would be different than we know it as it is), Spider-Man teaming up with Wolverine, the unmasking of the Hobgoblin, and Peter and MJ’s wedding. BUT! As “Kraven’s Last Hunt,” I rather preferred the prose novelization. The essential near-perfect parallel of the story as Kleid adapted in his prose novel having all the same key points was the biggest reason I preferred the prose novel to the graphic novel. Yes, there were times Kleid did give too much description at the connecting details, but I felt it was better than the silence the writers of the graphic novel who instead relied on the artwork. Also, Kleid’s adaptation was a lot more psychological than in the graphic novel, travelling into Kraven’s mind and understanding his motivations that drove him through the story. So again, as an Epic Collection, I preferred the graphic novel, but Kleid’s prose adaptation pleased me more. Now, readers of my reviews (which you could be, too), you’ll have read my thoughts on both and exactly what I liked and disliked, and I know there may be some inconsistencies in this, but note there was a period of time between finishing the graphic novel and the prose novel and writing the reviews, so if I seemingly contradict myself in my three pieces pertaining “Kraven’s Last Hunt,” I ask for your forgiveness.

            Well, if you’re still here, you’re TOTALLY AWESOME! I’ve written plenty of other content on this blog, so feel free to read anything else. I also write short stories, poetry, editorials, and complaints, and I post rather frequently so expect plenty more posts of all kinds of things, and until next time, Tim Cubbin… out!

"Spider-Man: Kraven's Last Hunt" by Neil Kleid

            The following is a review of the prose novelization of “Spider-Man: Kraven’s Last Hunt” by Neil Kleid and not the graphic novel of the same name.

            To start, we’ll talk about the five main characters to establish some history to those who are unfamiliar with Spider-Man or this story. This is important as the whole story hinged on these five characters. Some of the history of these characters were not actually contained in this novel itself and is therefore inferred from my knowledge of the Marvel Comics.

            Peter Parker/Spider-Man: Peter Parker was a high school science nerd and not very popular with the other students at his school, even bullied by students such as Midtown High School football hero “Flash” Thompson. His parents died when he was a little boy and he was raised by his elderly Aunt May and Uncle Ben. One day, he went to a demonstration of radioactivity. A spider got in the way of the radiation and was irradiated. Dying, it bit Peter. Peter soon discovered he could walk on walls and had the proportionate speed, strength, and agility of a spider, and a precognitive sense of personal danger he calls “spider-sense.” He also created web shooters. He started off in show biz. One day, he let a burglar run by him after a heist. He came home and found his Uncle Ben had been murdered. He chased down the murderer and caught him and saw his Uncle Ben’s killer was the same thief he let run by him. He remembered his Uncle Ben saying that “with great power there must also come great responsibility” and decided to use his powers to help people, fight crime, and stop the threats of super villains who were too powerful for any non-powered people to take down.

            Sergei Kravinoff/Kraven the Hunter: Sergei Kravinoff came from an aristocratic Russian family of great nobility. His father was eventually disgraced and his mother became insane. Sergei made a name for himself as a game hunter, and took on the name “Kraven the Hunter.” He kept himself youthful with mixtures of special herbs and potions. He prided himself on being able to defeat any animal and came to the United States to hunt down the deadliest animal of all: man. But not just any man. Spider-Man. Kraven had many encounters with Spider-Man over the year, occasionally teaming up with other super villains in The Sinister Six, but ultimately was defeated each time.

            Mary Jane Watson: Mary Jane Watson was your regular party girl, never staying with any one man for any length of time, until her Aunt Anna introduced her to Peter Parker. The two fell in love and dated for a while. Peter has just told Mary Jane that he is Spider-Man, which totally changed her opinion of Peter, now toying with leaving her home in New York City.

            Ned Leeds/Hobgoblin: Reporter Ned Leeds was the rival of Peter for the love of Betty Brant, the secretary at the Daily Bugle newspaper. Peter eventually let Ned have Betty, and Ned and Peter had a sort of friendship, and Ned eventually married Betty. Ned secretly became the super villain the Hobgoblin, one of Spider-Man’s deadliest enemies. The Hobgoblin has just been taken out permanently, but his specter still haunts Peter.

            Edward Whelan/Vermin: Edward Whelan was a brilliant scientist in the employ of Oscorp. CEO of Oscorp was the late Norman Osborn, who was the Green Goblin, Spider-Man’s arch-nemesis. Norman experimented on Edward against his will and mutated him into a hideous creature. Edward now has a split personality as the childish coward Edward and the monstrous Vermin. Vermin can communicate and manipulate rodents, particularly rats. He has been getting food from single women who walk by his hiding place. Vermin was so dangerous a villain to Spider-Man that Spidey had to team up with Captain America to defeat Vermin. Vermin now has sworn revenge on Spider-Man and Captain America.

            Okay, we’ve now established the background of these characters, now I’ll explain the story. Kraven has decided he will have a final showdown with Spider-Man. To this effect, he has hunted down and “killed” Spider-Man and burying him alive. Now he has decided to truly make his defeat of Spider-Man have the greatest meaning, he has now become Spider-Man. But his replacing Spider-Man has not been to deliver justice in Peter’s style. Kraven has now kidnapped Vermin, proving himself the superior Spider-Man for defeating the foe that the original Spider-Man could not. For two weeks, Kraven impersonated Spider-Man, until the real Spider-Man awakens and returns for his final showdown with Kraven and stop the threat of Vermin.

            Now, for those of you who don’t know how my reviews work, I do three main follow-ups to my synopsis of the book. The first is my own personal opinions of the story. The second is the accessibility. Finally, I give the book a numeric rating based on my feelings towards the content of the book as a whole.

            Okay, we’ll start with my personal opinion. I actually did not thoroughly enjoy this book. That said, there were elements I did like. But the story seemed just so weak to me. There were several main points to the story, yes, but I found the time in-between to be rather dull and drawn out. But I felt the actual main points were well done, just I wish there had been more of them. Also, the chapter length was actually a pain to me. This book was a very easy read. The chapters were very short, I think the longest being nine pages, even chapters that were just one page. This was due to the constant shift of the narrative between four of the primary characters. If Kleid had actually stayed with a character for more than a few pages at a time, I feel the jumbled narrative would have been more stable and interesting. There were also repeated phrases that got at best dull, at worst annoying. I often enjoy easy reads, but this was just too easy. That is not to say this is a children’s book. The content was very adult, including mild profanity and some of the narrative required knowledge of mental illness as there were psychological moments.

            Alright, we’ll now move on to accessibility. What I mean by accessibility to those who have never read a review of mine before is how easy this book is for people who are casual fans of the characters and events or people who have never read anything about the characters or events. In other words, if you know nothing about Spider-Man, would you still be able to pick up and understand the story? This book was very self-contained. If you just want to read a Spider-Man book for the sake of reading a Spider-Man book, yes you’ll be able to understand it. Of course, if you want to. I’ve been pretty harsh to the book, so you might want to avoid it. But if you’re a Spider-Man fan, there is a chance you might like it. Not I give everything on my personal opinion. I won’t say if a book is good or bad, I’ll say if I think a book is good or bad. I’m not you, after all, I can’t tell you what to think. But if you’re reading this review and are considering reading the book just based on this review, totally pick this book up, you’ll probably enjoy it. I won’t say if you will or won’t, I’m not you, but I would absolutely recommend it to you.

            Okay, now the important part; my score. I’ve established everything already, so I won’t approach this for all too long, I’ll just give you a number. My scoring is on a scale of one to ten, by the way. One is I thought the book was so awful I wish I hadn’t read this, ten is that this book was so good I’m going to read it again in a few months. Obviously you’re not expecting a super high score, but here it is: Five. If this surprises you based on what I previously stated and were expecting a lower score, read this review again more thoroughly and you’ll see why I say this, I honestly can’t explain my score any better than that.

            And that’ll do it for this review. If you’re here, that means you read the whole review at least once, and I totally appreciate that. I thank you for the support. I know I can go on for quite a while, so honestly, you are THE BEST! Keep an eye out for more work from me, I do plenty more than simple book reviews, and I have a lot more ideas to pitch your way, so if you liked this review, follow me on Twitter, keep coming back, I hope you like all the other content I post. So now, there are just three more words I have for you: Tim Cubbin… out! 

B'ings: "Press Your Luck"

 

            Howdy, folks, welcome to From the Mind of One Tim Cubbin, the blog of me, Tim Cubbin! So what we have here is a B’ing. What’s a B’ing to those of you who have never been here before, this is my own public complaint department where I share my personal opinion of mostly pointless things. I don’t expect you to agree with my opinions, you can either totally relate with it, or you might think I’m totally off base, your choice, I can’t control your mind, but I hope you can at least understand my point of view.

            Well, if you’re here, you’ve decided either to find out what a B’ing is or else want to see what I’m going to talk about “Press Your Luck.” This may be cryptic, so you must be informed I am talking about a television game show called “Press Your Luck.” I have a few points to elaborate about, so we’re going to start with the part of the game where you can earn spins on the Big Board to win cash and prizes. The host will ask questions and the contestants can try to come up with their own answer or a multiple choice answer. Now, the contestants can buzz in at any point in the question, and then the other two players can guess with either the buzzed in answer or one of two other answers of multiple choice. As I said, the contestant can buzz in at any point in the question, even if the question has not been fully read. This is foolish because the start of the question can sneakily seem to lead to the answer, but the question may be longer and trick the players into given the answer that ends up being part of the question and then you don’t earn spins. My point here is that it can be stupid to try to answer before the question is fully read which can actually give the full answer to the other players.

            Next we’ll talk about the Big Board. Now, as it comes to winning cash and prizes, you get to use your spins to try to win cash and prizes or to give your opponents spins at the big board. Here’s the thing, though. You only get to keep your cash and prizes if you have the most money in your bank at the end of round two. The other two players walk away with nothing. You also have to beware of the Whammy, who if you land on him will take away all your cash and prizes. If you hit four Whammys, you’re out of the game. Okay, this seems to be pointless, but there is a point. The players get so excited when they land on the Big Bucks or fabulous prizes. This is rather dumb because you have to have the most amount of money in your bank at the end of round two and not hit Whammys. So you land on the prize? That doesn’t mean it’s automatically yours because… I just said this, like, three times already. So you’re cheering because you landed on a prize which could just as easily be denied you because of the Whammy or the other players. It’s like buying a lottery ticket that you feel lucky that you will win, and then you don’t win and wonder “why did I even buy this ticket?” I know that seems a bit extreme, but essentially it’s the same thing. Not EXACTLY! But ESSENTIALLY. You could win, but you haven’t DEFINITELY won is my point. I hope my point is clear, because it’s my fault if it’s not and I feel bad. But if you’re with me, yay!

            And people also need to know when NOT to press your luck. For round one, if I were first to play on the Big Board, I would keep pressing my luck until I ran out of turns. After all, how can you build your bank without landing on the cash and prizes? If I played second, I’d use the same strategy. However, if I were third, and this is a HUGE advantage, I’d press my luck until I was in second place. You can pass your spins to the player in the lead. I’d build up to second place and then pass my spins. Why would I do this? It seems like I’m helping my competition. But I may actually not be doing that. I’d pass my spins and hope the lead player hits a Whammy and loses their money. Is this a guarantee? Obviously not, but you need to know when to press your luck and when not to. But, in round two, the player in the lead goes last, which, again, is an advantage so I’d really know when to press my luck. I’d build up my bank until I was in first place and pass the rest of my spins to the player in second place and hope they can’t get ahead of me. However, if I only had one or two spins left and am in second place and cannot possibly get the lead, I’d pass those last spins and hope my lead opponent lands on a Whammy, which would actually win me the game. It’s all about strategy. That’s how I’d play.

            The winner then goes on to the bonus round for a chance to win $1,000,000. If you can build your bank to $500,000, the game ends and you walk home a millionaire. You still have to beware of the Whammy. You get four Whammys, you walk home with your original winnings. The game goes after five rounds, which you can walk at the end of a round with your current winnings. You also get personal prizes that you can win. Each round adds more prizes and less spins, but you have to take ALL of those spins. Here’s where I B’ing. People get so excited to SEE their prizes get placed on the board, even though they haven’t WON that prize yet. I’d hold my excitement until I end the round with it. And some of the prizes actually benefit other people than me, such as trips to places they always wanted to visit or revisit and bring a certain amount of people to something truly meaningful to them or their people. Honestly, if I landed on the trip and finished a round with it, I’d be out of there. That would be more special than $1,000,000. There are also other special prizes depending on your profession. For example, say you’re a teacher or work at a school. Things like school supplies or other things special to your school might be a prize. If I finished a round with this prize, I’d walk. These prizes benefit the students. THINK OF THE CHILDREN! This ISN’T a prize for you! If you squander that prize, you are a TERRIBLE person. You’d deserve the Whammy, but the children wouldn’t. To some people, $1,000,000 is more important than these wonderful prizes. It shouldn’t be. Also, winning the million is difficult. It’s totally NOT impossible, but I’ve yet to see anyone walk away a millionaire. It’s statistically possible. But if you’re greedy for that and not your wonderful prizes, you deserve the Whammy, but not the others involved. These prizes aren’t for YOU, after all, or are the best vacation you will EVER get in your ENTIRE LIFE! Take it! It just makes me so angry. If I landed on a trip for myself and my five other family members who I’m super close with to Disney World for a whole week with all expenses paid, staying on site and full access to all four parks and had it at the end of a round… poof, I’m gone. That’s more important to me than $1,000,000. Would being a millionaire be great and help me with expenses in my life? Yes. But Disney World is a prize I most likely would never be able to afford, so THAT would be more important to me and my family. So again, you need to know when to walk, and when to press your luck.

            Wow have I gone on incessantly about a game show. If you’re still here at this point of my post, seriously, you are THE BEST! I totally love your support to my work and deeply thank you. So if you ever want to see me make more pointless points, keep coming back here, I totally have so much more to offer you. You’ll see short fiction, short nonfiction, poetry, essays, book reviews, editorials, and of course, more B’ings. If you’ve found this on Twitter, follow me, tell your friends about me, retweet, comment, and give me suggestions on what else you want to see here, I’ll totally try to accommodate you as soon as I can. And now, I bid you goodbye. Tim Cubbin… out!

"The Amazing Spider-Man: Kraven's Last Hunt" by Fred Schiller, Ken McDonald, James C. Owsley, Peter David, David Michelinie, Jim Shooter, and J.M. DeMatteis

 

            This following review is for the graphic novel “The Amazing Spider-Man: Kraven’s Last Hunt,” written by Fred Schiller, Ken McDonald, James C Owsley, Peter David, David Michelinie, Jim Shooter, and J.M. DeMatteis. This was featured in the Marvel Epic Collection presentation, so it featured the six-part crossover event, as well as several issues surrounding the event, which is why there were so many writers. This review will contain a few spoilers, so I hope I don’t detract from your interest in the book. This review will focus on each storyline individually and as a whole, so my usual scoring method will be slightly different for this book.

            The first story in this book was “Man of the Year.” This story was written in 1986, but featured elements from the future. Ironically, the future was 2015, and I am writing this in 2021, so for us, this is essentially an alternate past for us. Anyway, in 2015, Arno Stark had been chosen as “Man of the Year” for Time Magazine. Arno’s connection to Tony Stark was not explained in full detail, only that he had bought the company Stark Enterprises after Tony’s death, which also was not fully established, in case you wanted to know, which, unfortunately I cannot help you with. Arno has now taken up the mantle of Iron Man now. Arno had developed the “Planet Buster bomb,” which, obviously would cause a lot of damage if detonated, considering that it’s called the “Planet Buster.” It would kill a lot in detonation and cause more loss from the radioactive fallout. A terrorist named Robert Saunders broke into Arno’s lab and primed the “Planet Buster” and keyed the abort to his DNA, but Saunders was killed in an escape attempt. Arno had also been working on a time machine, so he decided to go to the past to take Saunders in to abort the explosion. Now, you’re obviously waiting on me to talk about how Spider-Man fits into all of this, which, honestly, I had been waiting on too as I read this. So, for those of you unfamiliar with Spider-Man, his real name is Peter Parker, he was bitten by a radioactive spider and now has adhesive fingertips and toes, enhanced strength and agility, a precognitive awareness of danger he calls “spider-sense” and he created web shooters which he can use to swing around and tie up bad guys. Anyway, Peter is hurting for money, and sells freelance photos of himself as Spidey to the newspaper, the Daily Bugle. His rent is overdue and the cashier of the Bugle is unavailable. Peter realizes he is being tailed by a little boy named Bobby Saunders, the son of a Bugle shareholder. So, yeah, you can probably guess who he’ll turn out to be, and Arno traveled back to 1986 for him. Spidey of course not knowing who Bobby will not grow up to be battles Arno as Iron Man to protect Bobby. The rest I shall not tell you and I hope I haven’t given away too much.

            The next story was “High Tide.” This featured a team-up/brawl between Spider-Man and the mutant X-Man known as Wolverine, who has a healing factor, a skeleton reinforced by the unbreakable metal adamantium, and three retractable claws in each hand. Wolverine’s friend from way back, Charlemagne, has been crossing off ex-KGB (this was written during the Cold War). “Charlie” is tracked to Berlin, and publisher of NOW Magazine, J. Jonah Jameson has sent Peter and reporter Ned Leeds to cover the story. Peter does not bring his costume with him as he is (once again) considering giving up being Spider-Man, but is drawn into the conflict when he finds Ned dead in his hotel room. That’s really all I can say without spoiling too much.

            The next story we shall call “Hobgoblin Revealed.” Peter had been dealing with a super villain called The Hobgoblin for a while now. Wilson Fisk (the Kingpin of Crime in New York City) calls Spidey in after a hit is carried out on the Hobgoblin and Fisk gives Spidey a file on the true identity of the Hobgoblin, but a thug formerly called Jack ‘O Lantern has now taken up the mantle of Hobgoblin.

            Next was what we shall dub “The Big Question.” Peter finally gathers up the courage to propose to Mary Jane Watson, his kind of ex-girlfriend, who, surprisingly says “no.” MJ then leaves for Philadelphia to see her sister, who, unbeknownst to MJ, is now in jail for stealing a priceless manuscript. It is now up to MJ to clear her name. Peter battles Alastair Smythe in New York, then follows MJ, but Smythe follows Spidey. After Smythe’s defeat, MJ realizes that she really loves Peter and accepts his proposal. I know, major spoiler.

            The next story is “The Wedding.” In this story, Peter and MJ are both having doubts about if they really want to go through with the wedding. I’m not going to spoil the will they/won’t they.

            Now, finally, “Kraven’s Last Hunt.” Longtime Spidey villain Kraven the Hunter resurfaces. Kraven severely drugs Spidey and then Kraven buries Spidey. Spidey is now half alive/half dead. Kraven then copies Spidey’s costume and assumes Spidey’s identity and of course besmirches Spidey’s integrity as a superhero. Peter now must attempt to defeat death. Meanwhile, the kind of super villain Vermin goes on a spree as the “cannibal killer.” Kraven now sets his sights on Vermin, preparing him for Spidey’s potential return. I’m stopping there and WILL NOT spoil the title.

            Okay, that’s all the stories in this graphic novel, so let’s do my scoring. Again, this is slightly different from most of my scorings as I’ve never reviewed this extensive a graphic novel. For those of you who DON’T know how I do a scoring, I first give my thoughts, then the accessibility of the book (how easy it is for non- or casual fans to pick up the book and understand the story), and finally, my numeric score. BUT! Considering there are multiple stories, I’m going to start with accessibility first for a change. If you have never had any experience with Spider-Man, this book is still easy enough to pick up and not get confused. This whole book is essentially self-contained and is a fair jump-on book. BUT! I do have a warning for casual fans. At this time, Spidey is wearing his black costume, it is not a symbiote, and it is not Venom like almost all of the other depictions. So if you know Spidey and you know the black costume, and you have never read a Spidey comic from 1984-1988, try to dissociate these two facts as they are NOT the same.

            Okay, now for my thoughts. For this instance, I’ll focus on everything one at a time and give a numeric score to each story, then I’ll review the book as a whole. For those of you who don’t know my scoring system, it’s on a one-to-ten scale, one being the worst, ten being the best.

            “Man of the Year”: Okay, this story did not satisfy me. I found it stale, and I think the timing of 1986/2015 having already passed had a major factor in this. So I give it a four.

            “High Tide”: This one totally interested me. I loved how Peter went to Berlin and had to buy a Spider-Man costume from a costume shop because he didn’t bring the black costume, and Ned’s death was just so shocking to me. I score it at an eight.

            “Hobgoblin Revealed”: Okay, I’ve got to say, I know there have been several Hobgoblins over the years, yet still this unmasking was still a sort of surprise to me. Numerically, I give it a seven.

            “The Big Question”: This totally moved me. MJ trying to clear her sister’s good name and standing up to her father and her realizing just how much she truly loved Peter showed her strength is an amazing way. I give it an eight.

            “The Wedding”: I’ll just give you my score: six.

            “Kraven’s Last Hunt”: I was totally surprised at the ending, but I felt the story was just too weak. Not much actually happened, and there was a lot of what I call wasted space. The dialogue was very limited, but the artwork was of good quality for comic book art at the time, and they say a picture is worth a thousand words, but a lot of these proverbial words were the same to me. While it is actually considered an outstanding story by fans, it just didn’t stand out to me. I’m sorry, but I give it a four.

            Now, for the book as a whole. I actually enjoyed the surrounding stories more than I liked the titular story. The last issue of “Kraven’s Last Hunt” in particular very much disappointed me, it was just too weak. To give it a final score as a whole, I unfortunately have to give it a five. Okay, I also have to say if I recommend it. I do not. My regulars know I am a very harsh scorer. If you are a true Spidey fan or a Kraven the Hunter fan, I can’t honestly predict how you would feel about the titular story. You may love it, you may like it, you may hate it. I won’t say I hated it, but the impact it had on me just wasn’t as strong as I had hoped. So, honestly, I can’t personally recommend it, but that’s just my opinion. If you want to read it, read it, see how you like it, but I just did not like it.

            Okay, that’ll do it for now. Keep an eye out for more content. I already have another book in my list I’m going to review coming up, and I think you might find another upcoming post to be rather interesting. I also have more of my B’ings complaint pieces and editorials planned, so if you like this post and you like my style, you should totally check out my other posts. So you can follow me on Twitter as well, tell your Marvel fans about me, leave comments (which has yet to be done in any of my posts), tell me about what you want to see on this blog and I’ll try to accommodate your suggestions as soon as I can, and till next time, Tim Cubbin… out!

B'ings: Comptroller/Controller

 

            Hey, all, and thanks for reading! I’m Tim Cubbin, and I’m here to be opinionated. Now, who’s been to one of my B’ings? If the answer’s no, think about a type of complaining, fill in a few letters and… B’ING!

            So if you’re here right now, you probably have an idea of what’s coming? If the answer’s no, I don’t know what to think. You saw I put in two words: “comptroller” and “controller.” Now, let’s get into why I’m doing a B’ing on these two words. People familiar with United States government have probably heard of a comptroller. And if you’ve seen political advertisements in the United States in preparation, you’ll hear it pronounced “controller.” Let’s start with a definition of comptroller. According to dictionary.com, a “comptroller” is a… whoa, whoa, whoa right there! A comptroller is a “controller?” So what’s a “controller?” “an employee, often an officer, of a business firm who checks expenditures, finances, etc.” And on top of that, a “comptroller” is pronounced “kuhn-troh-ler?” Okay, I have a bachelor’s degree in English. If a word has an “mp” shouldn’t it be pronounced “komp-troh-ler?” It’s literally taking the “mp” and replacing it with an “n.” And “mp” does not have any reason to sound like “n.” So you literally listen to a commercial and see “comptroller” written on the screen, but the narrator says “controller.” THERE’S NO REASON FOR THAT!

            When I hear the word “controller,” it kind of creeps me out. It kind of sounds like a government official is “controlling” me. What if I don’t WANT to be controlled by a government official? What, I have to do everything the controller says or I get thrown in jail? “Controller” sounds like a super villain name.  My regulars will know I LOVE Marvel comics, and ironically, there IS, IN FACT, a super villain called the “Controller.” He’s a mind manipulator who can make people do whatever he wants a person to do. I don’t want to think of a government official doing that to me? I don’t know about you? And let’s discuss a point here. I have my opinion, you have your opinion, this piece is MY opinion, you don’t have to agree with me on this, think however you want at this. But we have a government official who’s a super villain. Well, to be fair, it’s happened before, but let’s not make this about heavy politics and just focus on the words. Controller. Comptroller. They’re clearly not SPELLED the same, but they’re PRONOUNCED the same, and mean the same as each other. I’m just saying I’m more comfortable with a comptroller than a controller, but however you feel, it’s up to you, I can’t make you agree with me, but I can make you see how I feel.

            And that shall be all for now! Until next time, Tim Cubbin… out!

"X-Men: Onslaught"

 

            The following is a review of the Marvel Comics event “X-Men: Onslaught” as presented on Marvel Unlimited. While the title attached to the event is “X-Men,” it also starred the Avengers, the Fantastic Four, Hulk, Spider-Man, the Punisher, Iron Man, Thor, and many other Marvel mainstays. This review will give several spoilers, but these occur early on in the event, so it’s not going to ruin all the surprises.

            Okay, let’s start by talking about the creature called “Onslaught” and the focus of the foe over the course of the titular event. Onslaught is a powerful psionic entity. It has been hiding in the shadows, but when it reveals itself, it appears in a BIG way. It starts off by attacking the X-Men. The X-Men is a team of mutants, people with powers that most ordinary humans do not have due to a genetic mutation. They were gathered by the cripple telepathic mutant named Charles Xavier to establish peace between mutants and regular humans. Their main adversary is Magneto, a mutant who can control metal who wants to establish mutant superiority over regular humans. In a heated battle, Xavier believed the only way to stop Magneto was to telepathically shut off Magneto’s mind. Magneto later emerged amnesiac as a younger man calling himself “Joseph.” During the battle, however, Xavier’s dark side emerged, his psychic powers mixed with Magneto’s magnetic powers and created the evil psionic entity that went on to call itself Onslaught. Onslaught first destroyed the X-Men’s base of operations the Xavier Institute for Higher Learning, then attacked the City of New York with an electromagnetic pulse that blacked out the entire city, also preventing entrance or exit. It built a citadel in Central Park to coordinate its assault on the populace both humans and super humans and seeked to establish ultimate domination. In its efforts, it abducted Franklin Richards, son of Reed and Susan Richards (Mister Fantastic and the Invisible Woman of the superhero team the Fantastic Four), a young mutant with reality warping powers, and Nate Grey (X-Man), a young telepathic/telekinetic mutant, giving Onslaught even greater power.

            The power of Onslaught threatened the entire world, and several other mutants engaged Onslaught, such as the mutant Cable; the British mutant team Excalibur; Wolverine; the government sponsored mutant team X-Factor; and mutant team X-Force. Also in the battle, the mutants are joined by the Avengers, the Fantastic Four, Spider-Man, the Hulk, Thor, Iron Man, and other popular superheroes, and even several super villains like Doctor Doom, the Green Goblin, and the vigilante known as the Punisher, who both took the battle directly to Onslaught or protected the New Yorkers trapped in Onslaught’s siege of New York City.

            And that is my summary of the story with as few spoilers as possible in case you read this review and decide to give this story a shot. But, of course, you want to know if (in my opinion) this IS worth reading, so you want my tradition review. For you who have never read a review I wrote, I tell you my personal thoughts, the level of accessibility for new or casual readers, and of course, my numeric score.

            Okay, my thoughts. This story truly kept me riveted, making me want to keep reading this. The threat of Onslaught, possibly the most powerful foe in all the Marvel Universe, was an excellent villain. It’s manipulation of Franklin, Nate and Charles to increase its power was well written. The appearance of nearly every Marvel hero was greatly appreciated. It had a major impact on me. It’s always great to read a comic book and not knowing how the heroes can possibly defeat their foe, and this did it in spades. My only true complaint is that the event on Marvel Unlimited did not have every issue in chronological order, which became a little wonky, but if I read it in full chronological order, I’d find very few flaws.

            Okay, this is perhaps the key point to any of my reviews: accessibility to non-fans or casual fans. Honestly, I think starting at X-Men #53 was an easy jump-on point, and the background knowledge was very well self-contained. I found picking it up to be relatively simple, so non-fans could easily get into it, casual fans would have no problems following the story, and die-hard fans would totally devour the story.

            Now, the whole point of reading this review: my numeric score. Regular readers know I am very hard to please, I’m very nitpicky, and often stingy. For those of you who can count from one to ten, you can tell my scale. One being why did I read this to ten being I’m going to be talking about it nonstop for three days. I’ll rate it at an eight. Now, I know those of you who have been really reading this review and expecting to see a ten wonder why I gave it a lower score. This is because I felt Onslaught was WAY too powerful. A villain that can do just about anything is just too much for me to accept. There were points that seemed superfluous. And the ending, while very much unexpected, was too costly. BUT! All said, it was a very well-composed event and well-coordinated effort. The inclusion of every Marvel hero at the time in one event was very rewarding. And the artwork! I know I hardly talk about the artwork. But ‘90s artwork typically had a great presentation. I found it at the head of the class (if anyone says that anymore. If not, and you have no idea what that means, it’s superb). Now, would I recommend it? Yes! If you read this review, totally look on Marvel Unlimited or find the graphic novels, because I think it is worth it. Marvel fans should definitely not miss this one.

            And so, we’ve reached the finish. If you read this far, you are THE BEST! I’m so happy you heard me out! Keep your eyes peeled for more from me, because I have PLENTY of content. I would appreciate it if you checked out more of my work. I write short stories, poetry, reviews, editorials and essays, so you’ll find a nice assortment of pieces. Share this with your comic book reading friends. And until next time, Tim Cubbin… out!

A Message to My Bullies

            The following is a short message directed at the bullies who bullied me in middle and high school. I also hope other bully victims can understand what I am about to say and can commiserate and even take as an affirmation for themselves.

 

To my bullies in from school,

You made my life miserable in school. But you know what. I don’t hate you. I have no enmity or animosity towards you. Life is too short to hold grudges, and I no longer see you and most likely never will see you again, what you did was in the past. No, what I feel for you isn’t anger. I want no personal revenge against you. I wish no bad things to happen to you in the future. I’m sure you live with what you did, and hope you personally feel remorse or regret and hopefully moved past your childish deeds. Sure you thought what you did made you seem “cool” back then, but I hope you realize what you did wasn’t okay. What I feel for you is this: pity. I’m sorry you felt that to be popular you insulted and belittled me. Those “friends” you thought you had? Those weren’t your friends. Those people who sided with you also wanted to be cool and popular, so they gravitated towards you. The friends I had? Those were friends. They hung out with me, not to be cool or popular, but because they really wanted to have a friend. So honestly, in school, you didn’t have friends. I did. I wouldn’t want to go to life without friends. Now, I hope you’ve grown up since then, and learned what having a friend really means, and that those people you bullied have grown stronger and learned not to hate you. Because I don’t. I don’t hate you. And on top of that, I forgive you. You may have brought me down then, but you gave me a gift for later on in my life. You gave me strength. I grew strong each time you called me a name, or pulled a prank. And I never wanted to be you, or be like you. I just wanted to be me. And I am me. Everything you did changed my life, and all those years, it turned out to be positive. And I hope you’ve learned true friendship, because if you haven’t, bullying didn’t destroy life, it destroyed yours. So I say what you thought you would never hear from me: thank you. And I hope you grew up to be at least half the person I grew up to be.

Sincerely yours,

Timothy Cubbin 

Phobias

            Hi, I’m Tim Cubbin, this is an essay about phobias, but you probably could tell this as you clicked on to this to read this essay.

            Let’s hop on in and start at the best logical point: what, exactly, is a phobia. For this definition, we’re going to consult dictionary.com. A phobia is “an intense, persistent, irrational fear of a specific object, activity, situation, or person that manifests in physical symptoms such as sweating, trembling, rapid heartbeat, or shortness of breath, and that motivates avoidance behavior.” I have to believe that every living human being has at least ONE phobia. I mean, I know we have brave people, like firefighters who run into a burning building. They clearly are not afraid of fire, even though it is literally life-threatening. But there has to be SOMETHING a firefighter is afraid of.

            Now, there are MANY phobias. Some things are really dangerous and serious, while some little things can scare people. For example, people can be afraid of spiders, heights, dark places, to name a few. I think the best way to approach the rest of this essay with my own PERSONAL fears, just to give the optimal results as defining random phobias would just not be effective. Some of my fears people may find extremely strange, or very common, so this will prove to be rather interesting.

            I have a TERRIBLE fear of snakes, which is called ophidiophobia. I cannot be in the same room as a snake. It makes me so uncomfortable. Let’s look at my thoughts first. Are snakes dangerous? Yes. And no. Do snakes bite? Yes. But doesn’t EVERY animal bite? I mean, I have a cat. Has she bitten me? Yes. Am I afraid of HER? No. But does a snake go around randomly biting people just for its jollies? No. They only bite if they feel threatened. Would a snake slithering by just think “Oh, hey, look, it’s a human! Won’t it be fun to just bite it?” Absolutely not. There are three other major factors that drive ophidiophobia. The first is that some snakes will wrap around their victims and crush them to death. Now, is this important? Yes. But those snakes can be compulsive and crush victims to prepare to actually EAT them. Yes, the second factor is snakes are known to eat humans. This is, however, NOT actually common. A snake would only do that if it is truly hungry. And it would have to be a relatively LARGE snake in order to do that. Little snakes slithering around in your backyard aren’t going to eat you. BUT! That is only little snakes. Yes, some countries do have large snakes that live all over the place, but they’re not going to just eat you for (again) jollies. And that’s also not common to have giant snakes in residential areas. Now, what makes snakes truly scary to people is many snakes ARE venomous. Some aren’t too serious and would only make you sick, but yes, a large amount of those snakes will kill you with a bite, some quicker than others. But, again, jollies. A highly venomous snake will only bite if it feels threatened. If you encroach on its home, or if you corner it, or if you do anything to bother it, then, yes, it WILL bite you. But if you don’t bother it, it, in all likelihood, will not attack you. And, yet, despite all this, people, like myself, have ophidiophobia. Now, let’s look at our key word in the definition of phobia: irrational. I just totally described the causes of ophidiophobia and the fact that it is irrational. Now, how do I react to snakes? I freak out. I run out of the room if I’m in a room with one. It’s just a massive hit of discomfort. I just can’t be anywhere near one. Irrationally, I fear being bitten, crushed, eaten, and yes, killed. Again, are these fears likely? As I just said, like, seven times, no. COULD it happen? Yes. But it’s not just a snake’s random M.O. to do those things to a human being. And yet, the fear is still there. Why? I don’t know, it just exists. I know this is actually one of the most common phobias out there, so I’m nowhere NEAR alone, but our feelings honestly are not logical. Fun fact: ophidiophobia is actually the second most common phobia, the most common being arachnophobia, fear of spiders and scorpions and other arachnids, which, oddly enough, I do not have.

            Another one of my phobias is bees and other stinging insects such as wasps and hornets. This fear is called melissophobia. This is another common phobia, because who wants to get stung? The pain is bad. I often have to get blood work done since I am on medications (as regular readers and people who know me would be aware of), so I would always think a bee sting would be like a needle going into my arm… until I was actually stung by a wasp. Because of the venom contained in the stinger, a stinging insect gives an extra dose of pain to the sting, which hurts for a few hours compared to the short-term poke of a needle. So what do I do when I see one? I run if I’m outside, but if I’m inside, I can’t relax until I can actually smite the creature with a bug killing spray. It’s an obsession. But, honestly, I DON’T WANT TO GET STUNG! Do you blame me for having melissophobia then? Self-preservation.

            When I was a kid, I was afraid of the dark. This is called nyctophobia. I was always afraid there were things that attacked kids in the dark. I saw too many movies and thought there might be shadow creatures hiding in the closet, or a vampire would come in and drain my blood, or aliens would be attracted and come in and abduct me, or someone would sneak in and kidnap me, all these things that show up in horror movies. It was completely debilitating. I was so afraid of the dark I slept not with a nightlight or lamp, I slept with my room’s main light at night until I was sixteen. I eventually got past it and can now sleep in the dark, so some fears can be overcome. That said, I will ALWAYS be afraid of snakes.

            Now, I actually have a few phobias, the first of which you may find odd, absurd, or humorous, the second one you may not even know existed. For the funny one, I am highly afraid of squirrels, or sciurophobia. I know, laugh if you must, but I am DEAD SERIOUS. This was an acquired phobia, actually, I wasn’t born with it. But when I was six years old, I was carrying out trash to a dumpster. I opened the dumpster and a squirrel flew out at me, landed on my chest, and climbed up my chest and shredded my favorite shirt at the time so bad I had to throw it out. So now every time I need to carry out trash to a dumpster, I hesitate and slowly open it in fear another squirrel might fly out. But, let’s get serious. It’s a legit fear. I mean sciurophobia it is an ACTUAL term, so obviously I’m not the ONLY person on the planet afraid of squirrels. Those things, though, they are totally dirty, especially if it comes out of trash bins, their claws are sharp, and they can carry rabies. I know the fluffy tail looks so sweet and cute, but I see a tail and I turn away as fast as I can. So I carry the trash out and often just throw the bag in after opening just wide enough to just toss the bag in, slam the lid closed, and just turn. And I know, the way it eats stuffing its face may seem cute and funny to you as the cheeks expand, but I just don’t find them cute or funny, and they may seem harmless, but being attack by one left a lasting impression on me. This is really not a common phobia, but again, if it’d called a name like sciurophobia with the actual suffix of  –phobia, the prefix doesn’t matter, the fear exists enough to have a  –phobia label, I’m not crazy to be afraid of squirrels.

            Okay, now we talk about my other phobia. This is actual a PARTIAL phobia, that being aquaphobia or fear of water. Now, you may find this very strange, but in all honesty, it’s not rare. There is also what SOUND similar phobia, hydrophobia but that ACTUALLY a fear of rabies, which, I guess if I’m afraid of squirrels I might have as well. But let’s go back to aquaphobia. This includes going into oceans, pools, and bathtubs. BUT! And this is a BIG BUT (and I’m not trying to be funny, by the way)! That doesn’t bother me. I can walk INTO water, but I don’t like when water comes DOWN. In other words, I’m afraid of things such as showers, rain, snow, and waterfalls. I essentially take sponge baths, but I do shower quickly otherwise. But if it rains, I’m afraid to go outside, and I guess I also have ombrophobia, fear of rain, if you want to be specific. Again, this is a PARTIAL phobia for me, not full on aquaphobia, but if water is coming down on me I’m freaked out, but going INTO water doesn’t bother me. I can go into pools, bath tubs or lakes just fine. Bur if the water goes the other way around, well, no, I DO NOT like it.

            Well, there you have it, an editorial of phobias. This is actually a new style for my blog. Regular readers are familiar with my book reviews, my B’ings complaining essays, and my short stories, but I’ve never actually done something like this before. But you can totally expect to see more pieces like this, so if you liked this editorial, keep a look out for more. You can even contact me with ideas for future pieces, I’d totally LOVE that. If you’re a Facebook friend and have an idea, just tell me and I’ll probably work with that, if you’re a Twitter follower, send me a tweet, I’ll try to fit you in, or just leave comments on this blog page and I’ll take your ideas into consideration. I totally want you to keep coming back, so I’ll probably give you whatever you want, just drop me a line (do people say that anymore, I’m totally just way too old for my own good?) LET ME KNOW!

If you read to this point, YOU ARE AWESOME! I totally appreciate you, tell your friends, family, frenemies, whoever about me as well, I ALWAYS love new readers (obviously, or I wouldn’t kept have doing these things for free for a year)! That is all for now. As I always sign off (but I don’t always know if I keep the … before or after, but whatever) with this: Tim Cubbin… out! (That’s totally more dramatic)! 

"Age of Apocalypse"

            This is a review of the Marvel Comics event “Age of Apocalypse” which began in 1995 and continued for several months, and was revisited in 1999, 2001, and 2005. This event in the following review is collected across the span of fifty-one issues of a multitude of series that all worked together to tell an expansive story. For this review, the first issue of each series will be mentioned as the starting point and explain the role of these characters and purpose of said series. I feel this is the best way to explore the reality that is… The Age of Apocalypse!

            Blink: Clarice Ferguson is also known as Blink. She is a member of the underground movement against the High Lord, Apocalypse. Unfortunately, she is a bit of a rebel. When she ignores orders, she decides to go off on her own. She is then teleported to the Negative Zone, but is struck with amnesia. She joins a resistance against the corrupt lord of the Negative Zone, Blastaar and searches for the rightful ruler of the Negative Zone, Annhilus.

            X-Men Chronicles: This is the chronological start of the reality known as “The Age of Apocalypse.” In this series, we learn that Charles Xavier in this reality was killed protecting his friend Erik Lensherr (also known as Magneto) before he could form the X-Men. Magneto then vows to keep Xavier’s dream of peace between humans and mutants alive and forms the X-Men. Unfortunately, the X-Men are unable to prevent the ancient evil mutant Apocalypse from taking over North America. Apocalypse believes in mutant superiority and the survival of the fittest.

            X-Men: Alpha: In this one-shot issue, a time traveler named Bishop finds his way to the X-Men and tells them this reality should not be. Twenty years prior, Charles Xavier’s son David had traveled back in time to attempt to kill Magneto so Charles’s dream of peace and unity between humans and mutants would go unopposed. Unfortunately, David accidentally killed Charles and created this reality. Bishop now feels that this reality should not exist and the X-Men formulate a plan to bring the elements together to travel back in time and save Charles’s life.

            Generation Next: Colossus and Shadowcat have been training a young group of mutants as members of the X-Men. The first piece of the puzzle is discovered. The X-Men need to find a young girl, Ilyanna Rasputin (Colossus’s sister) who may be a latent mutant with the ability to travel in time. Unfortunately, Ilyanna is kept in a prison in Portland, Oregon. The young X-Men are called upon to travel to the Portland Core to rescue Ilyanna.

            Astonishing X-Men: A group of X-Men, led by Rogue Lensherr attempts to defeat Holocaust, Apocalypse’s “son” and one of Apocalypse’s Four Horsemen.

            X-Calibre: Nightcrawler must travel to Avalon, a refuge for both humans and mutants living together in peace and harmony located in Antarctica to find the mutant known as Destiny, a precog, to confirm if Bishop is indeed right about this reality being wrong. The only one who knows Destiny by sight is Nightcrawler’s mother Mystique, who conducts people on the path to Avalon and skims belongings on her travelers and is not truly accepted into Avalon.

            Gambit and the X-Ternals: Gambit and his band of outlaws are called upon by Magneto (an old friend of Gambit’s who had a romantic interest in Magneto’s wife Rogue early on in the Age of Apocalypse) to locate a crystal called the M’Krann that has the ability to transport its holders into another reality to get the X-Men to save Charles Xavier. Unfortunately, the M’Krann is located deep in space. Lila Chaney must teleport the X-Ternals to the edge of space so they can return with a shard of the M’Krann.

            Weapon X: Weapon X and Jean Grey, both former X-Men, now in travel in Europe. The Human High Council plans to detonate nuclear bombs on North America to eliminate Apocalypse. Jean leaves Weapon X, however, to go back to North America to complete a calling.

            Amazing X-Men: A team of X-Men led by Magneto’s son Quicksilver take off to conduct safe travels of humans from North America to Europe on mechanical mutant killing robots called Sentinels, but must first disguise their presence from the Sentinels and defeat Apocalypse’s Horseman, Abyss. The robot Nanny is left behind to protect Magneto and Rogue’s son Charles at the Xavier Estate (the X-Men’s base of operations) but Magneto is captured and brought to Apocalypse to lure the X-Men into a trap after the mutant parasite the Shadow King informs Apocalypse of the X-Men’s plans.

            Factor X: Apocalypse’s Horseman Sinister leaves his control of the Slave Pens and Breeding Grounds to Sinister’s adopted son Cyclops, but Cyclops’s brother Havok tries to prove Cyclops a traitor so Havok can gain control of Sinister and the Dark Beast’s operations.

            X-Man: Nate Grey is a powerful telepath/telekinetic who travels with his mentor Forge and a troupe of mutant performers throughout the Midwest. Nate must control his powers to hide the troupe from Apocalypse’s forces, but the mysterious Essex attempts to sway Nate to his side, away from Forge, trying to convince him to take on Apocalypse.

            X-Universe: The humans in Europe attempt to defeat Apocalypse’s Horseman Mikhail and get the humans from North America to Europe both to escape Apocalypse and the nuclear bomb the Human High Council of Europe’s plans to destroy Apocalypse’s kingdom.

            X-Men: Omega: Everything leads up to the confrontation between Apocalypse and the X-Men as they attempt to defeat Apocalypse and travel through time and space to prevent the Age of Apocalypse from ever coming to be.

            X-Men: Prime: In the main Marvel Universe, things are mostly back to normal, but the Legacy Virus (which is a parallel to A.I.D.S.), thought only to be a mutant killing disease, is discovered to also contagious to baseline humans. Several of the Age of Apocalypse denizens are also able to travel to the Marvel Universe after Ilynna and the M’Krann prevent the Age of Apocalypse.

            X-Men: Age of Apocalypse: The Age of Apocalypse is revealed to be a pocket reality, and a year later, things are not going well for the X-Men, and survivor’s battle to maintain the balance of baseline humans and mutants.

            Now, this is a review, and those who have read one of my reviews before know I do a few things to conclude my review; my personal comments, the accessibility to the level of fandom, and, of course, my numeric score.

            First off, the original Age of Apocalypse was very much to my liking. Alternate realities, are of course, tricky for fans of the main Marvel Universe. The changes are sometimes welcome, and sometimes undesired. Characters that are good become bad, characters that are bad become good. This what if tapestry was very compelling to me. A world without Xavier as a backbone proves that one man CAN make a difference, and this major change of Xavier never forming the X-Men was definitely welcome for me. More to that in a couple paragraphs.

            Accessibility: I mean this as if you know TONS about the Marvel comics, LITTLE about the Marvel comics, or NOTHING about the Marvel comics how easy it is to pick up this story and actually follow and understand the story. I give this a VERY high accessibility rating. As this is another universe with an established origin story, I feel anyone can pick up this story and completely understand it. A few notes: if you know nothing about the X-Men, don’t attempt to read X-Man #53-54 and X-Men: Prime #1. X-Man #53-54 is a merged reality and really has little to do with the main story of Age of Apocalypse, X-Men: Prime #1 only ties into Age of Apocalypse with the refugees and honestly has no impact on the Age of Apocalypse, so they can totally be skipped. Otherwise, if you haven’t read Age of Apocalypse before and you like this review, I totally think you should pick this up.

            Okay, now the final piece of this tapestry: my numeric score. All said, this world was very engaging for me. The changing of history was very different from other Marvel Universes and did not attempt to follow or recreate or reboot other storylines in a similar style, such as Ultimate Comics (with the exception of Gambit and the X-Ternals that had a very similar story to the X-Men Phoenix Saga) which I truly appreciated. What if stories can be either hits or misses. For me, this was a hit. BUT! It did have some elements I didn’t fully like, but they would contain spoilers and I totally WANT you to read this, so we won’t go there. So, on a scale of one to ten (one meaning this should never have been written, ten being they totally should still be writing this) I give it an eight. It wasn’t PERFECT, but it was still a GREAT read.

            And those of you who have ever read my blog know how I sign off, but for those who haven’t, I conclude with three words: Tim Cubbin… out! 

"Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets" by J.K. Rowling

            Hey, gentle reader (a reference from my recent review of “Guardians of the Galaxy: Rocket Raccoon and Groot – Steal the Galaxy,” which you can feel free to peruse if you so desire if you like this review and want to see more of my work, for which there is PLENTY)! This is a review of the million-year-old novel “Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets” by J.K. Rowling. I stress NOVEL, and not FILM, and this is NOT a comparison review. Anyway, so millions of kids and adults have read this book from 1999 (million-year-old was a joke, by the way, not funny probably, just a little exaggeration for fun, I know, not funny), you might have even read it, too. I’ve read the book at least twenty times, I love it that much, but that’s jumping a little ahead from the standard composition of my reviews.

            Anyway, logically, to do a review, a synopsis would be a good thing to use, so we’ll start with that. Now, I’m going to do something a tad bit different than most reviews, and go chapter-by-chapter and just tell you the chapter title and what it means and try my best to keep a minimal or even no spoilers. There are eighteen chapters to this book, so expect to be reading this for a while, and if you want to, you can read this in a few doses if you want to take a break, but this will still be fun.

            Chapter One: The Worst Birthday. Harry Potter lives with his obnoxious Aunt Petunia, Uncle Vernon, and Cousin Dudley who treat him in ways that would be impolite in my G-Rated blog, but we’ll say rather badly. They always forget his birthday because they just don’t care, and instead of a birthday party, Uncle Vernon is throwing a dinner party to make a big selling deal for his company that sells drills so he can make a lot of money and buy a vacation house in Majorca. Harry is instructed to completely stay away so the potential buyers won’t mix it up with Uncle Vernon’s disturbed nephew. Harry notices an odd thing appear in the garden, but it is scared away.

            Chapter Two: Dobby’s Warning. Dobby the house elf shows up in Harry’s bedroom to tell him not to go back to the wizard school Hogwarts this year because something really bad is going to happen and Harry has to stay away from this to save his life. Dobby then gets Harry in trouble when Harry ignores this warning.

            Chapter Three: The Burrow. Harry, in trouble, is kept locked in his room. Harry’s best friend Ron Weasley and his troublemaking brothers Fred and George break Harry out and take him to their family home the Burrow for the rest of the summer.

            Chapter Four: At Flourish and Blotts. Harry and the Weasleys go to Diagon Alley to purchase their school supplies. At the book store Flourish and Blotts, Harry and the Weasleys run into Draco Malfoy and his father Lucius, as well as Gilderoy Lockhart, their new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor at Hogwarts who narcissistically has written their new books about all the wonderful things he has done as a wizard.

            Chapter Five: The Whomping Willow. Harry and Ron are blocked from making the train to Hogwarts and instead steal Ron’s father’s flying car to get to Hogwarts. They crash into the Whomping Willow, a tree that fights back.

            Chapter Six: Gilderoy Lockhart. Harry, Ron, and their friend Hermione Granger sit in Lockhart’s first Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson where the narcissist gives a test about everything in his books, then unleashes Cornish Pixies that terrorize the class, then cowardly runs off expecting Harry, Ron and Hermione to fix his mess-up.

            Chapter Seven: Mudbloods and Murmurs. Harry hears a dirty word for a witch or wizard who come from muggle (non-magical) families, then starts to hear a mysterious voice that no one else can hear.

            Chapter Eight: The Deathday Party. Harry, Ron, and Hermione attend a party celebrating the anniversary of Gryffindor House ghost Nearly Headless Nick’s day of death.

            Chapter Nine: The Writing on the Wall. A message about the Chamber of Secrets is painted on a wall near a defunct bathroom.

            Chapter Ten: The Rogue Bludger. Harry is attacked by a Bludger while playing the wizard sport Quidditch that is fixated on him and ends up in the school infirmary where he finds out about a petrified student.

            Chapter Eleven: The Dueling Club. Lockhart holds a Dueling Club to show the students how to fight wizard style, and proves to be completely inept at dueling.

            Chapter Twelve: The Polyjuice Potion. Harry and Ron take a potion that transforms them into Slytherins Crabbe and Goyle to see if Malfoy is the one who opens the Chamber of Secrets.

            Chapter Thirteen: The Very Secret Diary. Harry finds a magical diary that shows Harry that the gamekeeper Rubeus Hagrid is the one who unleashed the Slytherin monster on Hogwarts fifty years prior.

            Chapter Fourteen: Cornelius Fudge. The Minister of Magic arrests Hagrid and takes him to Azkaban wizard prison, as well as firing Hogwarts Headmaster Albus Dumbledore.

            Chapter Fifteen: Aragog. Harry and Ron find out that giant spider Aragog was not the Slytherin monster and Hagrid is not the Heir of Slytherin and are attacked by a horde of giant spiders.

            Chapter Sixteen: The Chamber of Secrets. Harry and Ron find the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets and enter.

            Chapter Seventeen: The Heir of Slytherin. Harry confronts the Heir of Slytherin and faces off with the Slytherin monster.

            Chapter Eighteen: Dobby’s Reward. The story wraps up and something good happens for Dobby the House Elf.

            Whew! Wow, thanks for getting this far! Anyway, now comes the important part: my score. Usually my reviews contain my thoughts on the book, the accessibility of the dedication needed to fully appreciate the book, and my numerical score of the book, and so you shall get all. First off, as I said before, I love this book and have read it at least twenty times. I found the book well written. The story kept me interested, I hardly wanted to put it down, but being a busy blogger I had to take breaks, plus I’m reading five things at once to review just for the sake of keeping the blog interesting, but I digress. The whole mystery of the Heir of Slytherin and the Slytherin monster was started relatively early in the book, ran through the course of the rest of the book, and had a satisfying culmination that completely paid off.

            As far as accessibility to reading this book, seriously, just read “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone,” the first book in the series, obviously, but if for some reason are reading a second book in a series without reading the first book, I don’t have anything positive to say to you about that, so let’s not go there. Or, if you just want to be lazy, watch the film of “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone,” then this book will be accessible to you as well, but a film is NOT a novel, so there will be gaps and inconsistencies if you do this.

            Now, the moment you’ve been waiting for: my numeric score. I scale on one to ten, one being worst, ten being best. My regular readers will know I am VERY hard to please, I have given A LOT of bad ratings over the course of this blog for the past year. Now, this is VERY, VERY rare, but on my numeric scale, I rate this book at a ten. I’ve already established the reasoning for this score, so I think that nothing more needs to be said on this matter.

            Wow, this was long! Thanks for reaching this point in this review, you are THE BEST! So I’ll now free you from your bond and say, Tim Cubbin… out!